Citation: lysergamind. "My Anabolic Frolic: An Experience with Testosterone Propionate & Estradiol (exp91601)". Erowid.org. Jun 18, 2020. erowid.org/exp/91601
The summer after my junior year of high school, at 18 years old, I started working out at home. I was motivated by a friend I had recently made who was very physically fit and had well-developed muscles. His fitness and stature inspired me, a skinny weakling of 140 lbs at 6 ft, to start doing push-ups, dips, step-ups, presses, and crunches in my room every day. As I continued to do these I noticed a small increase in energy, musculature, and 'overall sense of well-being'. That was enough to get me hooked. After a month or so of this shitty routine, I bought some exercise bands and started doing the popular P90X fitness program, which is what my friend did. Using this program, I slowly increased my strength, and from week to week I was able to handle more tension on the bands, do more of the exercises without tapping out, do more reps without exhausting myself, and use a lot more strength and coordination in real-world situations.
5 months of P90X and I was strong enough that tugging 3 or 4 tightly-stretched rubber bands was doing more to agitate my wrists and compress my lower back than it was to increase my strength. And that's when I started lifting weights. No longer nearly so concerned with yoga, posture, mind-muscle connection, and form, I began to delve into the world of bodybuilding and muscle men. I already felt a lot stronger than I did before, but I was still extremely skinny and light. So I hit the weights hard. All I had was a set of adjustable dumbbells and 40 lbs of weight, but I made it work by weighting down bodyweight exercises like pushups, dips, and split squats, and doing isolation moves with the dumbbells. Soon 40 lbs wasn't enough, however, and I bought some extra weights on craigslist. Now I was squatting, deadlifting, rowing, pressing, and curling like the bodybuilders & strength athletes I had come to look up to, and with my shirt off, I finally looked muscular and 'toned' - but still SMALL. And I hated it. I loved how I could see my bicep peaks and the separation between my pecs, and I liked that Small size shirts were now beginning to look awkwardly tight instead of loose on me, but what I really wanted was to fill out bigger shirts, stretch sleeves my arms, and look muscular and strong even while fully clothed.
And that's when I went on the roids. At this point, I had been reading fitness forums for quite some time, about 5 months or so, and I had seen people ask questions or start discussions about steroids. At first I thought it was kind of ridiculous to take drugs just to get big, but as the weeks went by and millimeter by millimeter I gained muscle mass, I realized that there might be something to them after all. And I started doing research. I didn't really think about whether I was actually going to do them or not, I just thought it would be cool and wanted to find out more. I have always been fascinated by drugs so this was intriguing to me. But when I found out that it was possible to purchase cattle steroids for cheap and convert them into injectable steroids in a few steps, I was in. I had extracted DMT once at this point, prepared mescaline-containing cactus a few times, and perfected my technique with the fickle morning glory seed, and the moment I discovered that I could *make* steroids, I knew - THIS was my next project. And this one was going to be awesome.
I received $20 from some friends of the family for my birthday around that time, and recognizing the potential of the gift, I immediately deposited the money and ordered some hormone cattle implants from the internet. 200 mg of testosterone propionate and 20 mg estradiol benzoate in each implant. 2 cartridges of 10 implants each gave me 4 grams of testosterone and 400 mg estradiol total. I used craigslist to quickly sell my old, unwanted electric guitar for $80, and with most of that money I bought syringes, needles, a sub-micron 'wheel' syringe filter, and a bottle of tamoxifen to combat bitch tits and to restore my normal hormonal functioning after I was off the juice. I chose to follow an extremely simple preparation procedure, due to my newness and naivete, which involved dissolving the pellets in a specified amount of soybean cooking oil and filtering the solution. This was supposed to dissolve all the testosterone in the pellets and a minimum amount of estradiol, the estrogen hormone. For some reason, I trusted this to be adequate in removing the estradiol and didn't think I would encounter any problems. But the first problem made itself known right away. The shit was a bitch to filter. It didn't want to go through a coffee filter, it just sat there. And when I drew it up through my new submicron wheel filter, it took 5 minutes to draw a few ml's of liquid and then clogged the filter completely, requiring me to detach the syringe, clean the filter, and start again. So I just dumped all the oil and undissolved shit floating in it into a glass ramekin, sealed the ramekin in a plastic bag, and stored it all for later.
When it came time to actually dose the roids, I would clean my wheel filter, draw some clean oil through, then open a clean syringe and needle (they came packaged together), detach the needle and seal in a baggie, attach the filter to the syringe and draw up 1.6 ml's of oil, then reattach the syringe to the needle, seal it away in a clean baggie, and put everything else away. The now-filled syringe I would put inside another baggie, and now double-sealed, I would place it in front of a space heater for 10 mins to warm up the oil. After this, I would wash my hands, swab the injection site with isopropyl alcohol, purge the syringe of air bubbles and inject. The injections were actually quite simple as I received my instructions on how to do them from a medical guide for nurses, and surprise surprise, the instructions worked fine! I injected into my shoulders, asscheeks, and thighs in that order, 3x weekly, covering one side of my body one week, and the other side the next. Since I was injecting fucking cooking oil into my ass, I was always extremely paranoid about sterility, and I made sure to clean everything I used with isopropyl, avoid touching anything after washing my hands, seal everything in at least one plastic baggie when not in use, clean my filter every time I used it, and the one time I fucked up an injection, throw the needle away and use a fresh one. This paranoia must have paid off as I never developed an infection or abscess. (THANK GOD!!)
Although I had never injected anything before and was worried about it, it turned out to be pretty easy and almost painless unless I fucked something up. I always made sure I was sober when I did it, as even the thought of injecting made me shudder while high. I'm sure if I ever tried it I would've fucked something up - I injected once while coming down from being stoned and it was one of the worst injection experiences of the steroid cycle. The strangest I experienced though, was when a friend of mine slept over the night before an injection day. I knew I wasn't going to be alone the whole day, and so I had to do it early in the morning while my friend slept and my younger sister roamed about the house. Luckily I had already loaded that days dose into a syringe and sealed it away, so all I had to do was heat it up under the space heater, which I did in my parents van in the garage to avoid noise, and then head into the bathroom with the syringe in my pocket, plug my asscheek full of warm anabolic oil, and then dispose of the evidence. It wasn't really hard or stressful, but it made me think about how weird it really was that I was shooting steroids into my ass with my sleeping friend and 12-yr-old sister mere meters away.
All of that was secondary to the results, however. Ahhhhh... the fucking results. Every workout I was putting up more pounds than the last. My compound lifts, squat, bench, pullups, etc. increased rapidly. I had so much energy I would make it through my workouts and feel able to keep going. I also didn't give a fuck about anything. Many experience this as roid rage, but I am not a very angry or hostile person, so I just got massive adrenaline rushes, would cuss out people I didn't like without thinking, always answer back to a demeaning comment or authoritative remark, once stripped off my shirt and shoes and ran halfway home when I missed my bus, and generally I felt like a boss. The cosmetic results were also striking. My arms increased in size by an inch and I seemed to look bigger every day when I looked in the mirror. The added estrogen in my system made me keep bodyfat around though. My face got a lot pudgier and... jellier while on. I got a gut for the very first time in my life, and as I should have expected, I grew man boobs. Small ones, but man boobs none the fucking less.
Now all that's over. I'm not on steroids anymore. I finished my post-cycle therapy plan. I even ran out of creatine. Now I'm back to the old bullshit, just liftin' weights, eating a lot of meat, and getting fucked up. I still have the man boobs, although they're a lot smaller now, and they're slooowwly going away. My testosterone-promoting diet plan is helping, but I can't wait until the man boobs are no more. And at that point, I will probably take steroids again. I don't know if you can tell from the way I wrote this report, but juice is a lot of fun. It's physically and emotionally euphoric, and it's not in any way enlightening or mind-expanding like mescaline or DMT, but like any drug it allows me to stretch the parameters of the human sensorium. It allows me to feel more primal aggression, more determination and strength of will, and above all, more RAW ANIMALISTIC POWER than anything else. There is nothing like picking up a weight I've never been able to lift before and knowing that it is actually pretty goddamn heavy and yet smashing through the pain barrier and the strength barrier like paper and moving that weight with a power & strength I've never possessed until that moment.
I ran a pretty basic, classic cycle. (500mg testosterone/wk) I followed two pieces of advice. 1. Do your research thoroughly and carefully and, 2. Adhere to all warnings and consensus advice, there is no benefit of the doubt and no going back if you fuck up.
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