DOSE:	100 mg	oral	MDMA
	100 mg	oral	MDMA
	2 tablets	oral	Acetaminophen

BODY WEIGHT:

60 kg

Prior to taking MDMA for the first time my drug experience had been limited to weed, one small line of mephedrone and lots of alcohol. I had long been interested in trying E, however I could only find it in pill form which I was slightly dubious about. Eventually however a local dealer, who normally only sells ketamine and weed, got in touch with me to say he had good MDMA powder, or mandy as he put it.

I quickly got in touch with a few friends, one who had previously done E, and suggested we split a gram and a half for an upcoming party.

The evening of the party soon came upon us. We split the powder at my house into 15 roughly equally sized piles (about 100mg each) and wrapped each one in a rolling paper. Taking the mandy would be me and my friends B, V and C. Another friend, M, would be driving us there before heading off to another party. We each swallowed a bomb at the start of the 20 minute car journey.

I was filled with nervousness and apprehension during the journey and kept nervously laughing at glancing at V and C. B was the friend who had dropped before so he seemed noticeably less nervous. We arrived, and I was certain I could feel a slight something; however I knew from my months of research, online and in books, that I couldn’t be just yet.

We stood outside the party for a while, chatting to the people smoking. I was just about to go inside, as it was kind of cold, when I suddenly realised my heart was beating pretty fast. I turned to C and grabbed his arm. I said what I was feeling and he smiled a big smile and told me that had happened to him five minutes before and now he felt amazing. I let him go inside and carried on chatting to a few friends, then boom. The feeling hit me like a freight train. A fuzzy, amazing warm feeling spread from the tip of my toes to the top of my head in seconds and I shivered. Instinctively I clutched at the sleeves of my jumper and wow. I had never felt anything so joyous in my entire life, I cannot quite articulate, even now, how amazing it felt.

I turned around, my pupils now the size of dinner plates. All I could think about was finding someone to talk about how great I felt. I looked for my friends and caught the eye of an attractive girl. Any other time, I would have gone straight to talk to her, but the amazingness of this feeling washing over my body eliminated almost all other thoughts from my head. I practically skipped inside, feeling as though I was walking on bubbles of air and a massive grin on my face. All this while I was rubbing my arms, the walls, other people’s arms, and the bar; I had an uncontrollable urge to touch as many different materials as possible to see what they felt like - and they all felt amazing.

I got inside and the dj’s light show was in full swing. Colours, lights, sound. Like a sensory explosion, almost overwhelming but not quite. Suddenly I spotted V dancing away in the middle of the floor, limbs flailing. Now, from everything I had read and talking to others I knew I should be feeling the urge to dance but I wasn’t. Well not any more than I normally would. Which was strange, but nothing bothered me at that time, I felt on top of the world. Around this time I began to notice this strange sensation, not unpleasant but certainly weird; it felt like my head was empty and floating, almost as if someone had sucked my brain out and replaced it with helium. Throughout the night I kept touching my head, almost to re-assure myself it was still there which must have looked a bit odd, although I didn’t care.

Anyway, I ran over to V and gave him the biggest hug. He turned to me and smiled a huge, genuine smile of joy and told me he couldn’t feel much. I could see otherwise, so I let him be and he returned to his crazy dancing.

I then asked some people where C was, and they said he had gone outside again. I went outside and found him staring at big red shipping container. He said ‘D, come and look at this’ and I was suddenly and ridiculously entranced by its beauty. I can honestly say never in my whole life have I ever seen a colour as amazing as that crate and I don’t think I ever will again. After a few minutes I suddenly realised we must look a bit stupid so we headed off to talk to mingle again. I felt great and talking came easily, but not in the drunken way; I felt like everything I said was the perfect thing to say at that moment, even though in retrospect it probably wasn’t.

After an hour or so outside, I suddenly realised I felt pretty cold again. I took this as a sign of coming down and I went to find C and B. They both agreed they too felt a slight comedown, so we took another bomb each about 11.30. I went to find V to see if he wanted another, but he was still dancing crazily. I told him to come and sit with me and share some water. He was gurning heavily, but not he wasn’t particularly sweaty and he kept telling me how thankful he was that I had convinced him to do this (prior to that day he had no drug experience except alcohol). He kept looking over to the dance floor, so I joined him to dance for a bit. Dancing felt good, but there was no immediate connection to the music like I had read might happen; I was more entranced by the lights, and kept staring at the awesome patterns they made on the polished floor.

I danced with a girl briefly, she was very attractive but I felt nothing sexually, only the urge to hug her. We kissed for a bit. I can’t even begin to describe how amazing that felt, so I won’t try. I left her after 20 minutes or so and went to find B. He was sipping on a beer and playing pool with another guy in a separate room. I sat with them for a while and had a long conversation about girls and my love life. I went outside and sat with C for a bit while he smooth talked to a few girls and then realised I was coming down again. I felt I probably could re-dose but my sensible nature kicked in and I decided against taking 300mg for my first time.

I think I experienced a little bit of a crash, especially as just at this time the party ended, about 2 am. I found myself looking at drunk people having fun, and V who was still totally gone on the single bomb he had taken, with a little bit of jealousy and longing to feel like they did again. I had some conversations, but compared to how they had flowed before they felt lifeless and lacked spark. I felt kinda sweaty so I went to the bathroom to wash my face and I noted my pupils were still huge (they didn’t really return to normal size for a few days, long after the drug had stopped affecting me mentally)

I decided to find the girl I had kissed previously and got chatting to her again. We kissed again which alleviated the comedown somewhat; however I kept mentally comparing to how good it had been before, leaving me slightly disappointed. As we left to head for a train home, I got a pounding headache. Even though I had three pints of water over the course of the five hour party, I became extremely paranoid that I had either not drunk enough water or had too much and that I might die. If I had been on my own, this situation may have escalated rapidly even though in retrospect I was clearly fine. My friends sat with me and distracted me with surprisingly deep conversations, although the main topic was how good we had felt earlier and how the drug had affected us each slightly differently.

The train came and I got home by about 3 am, pretty much all the way home the strange empty head feeling persisted, as did my headache. When I got in I googled MDMA and parecetamol to ensure I was safe and then popped two before I went to bed. I found I could not sleep however, it seemed as though my body was tired but my mind was racing at hundred miles an hour. I went downstairs and watched Wall-E curled up with a blanket on the sofa until I fell asleep, I think around 5am.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 91714
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: May 29, 2024	Views: 39
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