Citation: IpsoFacto. "A Rush of Pure Bliss Then I Need More: An Experience with 4-Methylethcathinone (exp91730)". Erowid.org. Jul 1, 2011. erowid.org/exp/91730
Iím a 45-year old man, with a 30-year long history of use of psychoactive substances, including most or all of the major psychedelics and stimulants, some dissociatives, and limited numbers of opiates, benzos, etc. Things I havenít done: heroin in any form, anything IV (except Demerol in the hospital), and quite limited experience with enactogens. Iíve only had a few MDMA experiences, and refrain from using it recreationally now since Iíd prefer to save it for therapeutic use when or if needed. In terms of similar substances, Iíve never tried mephedrone or MDAI, though I have tried methylone, 4-FA, 4-FMA and some other newer stimulant RCs.
This is only the 2nd time Iíve tried 4-MEC. The first time I had also taken a few other substances earlier in the day, and though I found my 4-MEC experience amazing I donít know to what extent it was potentiated by the other things in my system.
So, for this experience I decided to try 4-MEC alone on a day in which I had taken no other psychoactive substances. I had taken my normal regime of supplements (multivitamin and additional amino acids, antioxidants etc) much earlier in the day, eaten a light dinner around 6, and around 8 PM decided I would try 4-MEC again. I was alone in my office space. I put on some ambient music which I particularly like and which I had listened to on my first ever 4-MEC experience to amazing effect.
The 4-MEC I acquired from an online vendor was in the form of small crystalline shards. Other customers had commented on its excellent quality and I am quite sure that the substance was indeed 4-MEC. I weighed out 100 mg initially, crushed the crystals into powder carefully, and made it into 2 lines, one slightly larger than the other. I was in a relatively calm mood, had just finished some work, and was open to whatever experience the 4-MEC was going to give me. My intention was to experience the euphoria of this substance and make a few notes on my computer about it if possible.
8:30 PM (0:00): Insufflated the larger of the two lines, approximately 60 mg of 4-MEC. It was a bit painful to insufflate and my nose and sinuses hurt a bit, but I was prepared for that and leaned back in my chair to see what would happen next.
8:35 (0:05): The effects came on quickly. My notes: ďmmmm, feel so good - music sounds incredible, extreme pleasure, rushes to the body, feel a pleasant detachment from reality.Ē
8:38 (0:08): Leaning back in my chair now, eyes closed, allowing myself to be taken over completely by this sensation. A deep, deep feeling of pleasure, tingles on my skin, the most pleasurable spaced-out feeling imaginable. Thoughts are minimal and are to some degrees unwanted intrusions to the purity of the BLISS of this rush of pleasure. Not a dopaminic rush ala speed, but a body and mind-encompassing euphoria. I donít want anything, I donít want to do anything, all I want is for this feeling to continueÖ. On and on and on forever. Pure BLISS. The ambient music (Brock Van Wey) is SO good and relaxing. There is no eroticism, there are no visual effects. Just the feeling.
8:45 (0:15) I have been leaning back with my eyes closed the whole time, feeling I think as good as I have ever felt in my life perhaps. Or at least in the top 10 of the best feelings Iíve ever had, including profound experiences during meditation. Waves of bliss continue to rush over me. Opening my eyes diminishes this just a tiny bit so I donít. Iím pondering the nature of this experience at the same time. First, it is a complete detachment. If someone knocked on my door I wouldnít answer it, if the phone rings I wouldnít pick it up. There is also a very strong emotional detachment. I want nothing but this, I donít care about any of the things that I usually care about. I think about my family briefly, I love them and the thought of them puts a smile on my face but I donít feel any pangs of longing to see them, any sentimentality or the mixed feelings that interpersonal relationships usually contain. Just the pure bliss of this bodily existence, that is all that matters to me right now. Fuck everything else.
I try to think about what I can bring back from this experience and all I get is the following ďdonít worry too much. Donít think too much. Meditate, feel the bliss.Ē I am overwhelmed with the feeling of the substance, nothing else matters to me in the least, and this is profoundly unusual for me, as I generally overthink things and donít surrender to bodily feelings that much (except during sex).
I notice that my breathing has slowed incredibly. I am breathing as slowly and deeply as I ever do, like the most deep breathing I have done during neurofeedback to learn deep relaxation. This is happening automatically, effortlessly, as my body and mind tingle with pleasure and relaxation. I measure my pulse and it is slightly elevated, but only a tiny bit above normal.
9:00 (0:30) The first rush is ending now. My eyes are open and Iím looking at my computer. I decide to search for a bit more information on this compound although there isnít much to be found. I feel a sense of loss invade my consciousness and the bliss recedes, though it is partially still there, but not the overwhelming ISNESS of Bliss I experienced before. I surf the net for a while, reading, and occasionally closing my eyes to retaste the bliss. But it is diminished. Time to redose. I weight out some more 4-MEC and crush it up, adding to the line I hadnít done yet, taking my time.
9:20 (0:40): Line number #2, around 75 mg. Still slightly painful, and I noticed a bit of nasty-tasting drip this time.
9:25 (0:45): And here it comes again. Eyes start to flutter and I close them and lean back. I play the same song again, it is perfection as is the feeling which is exactly as strong as the first rush, with absolutely no loss of effects whatsoever. Back into the ISNESS I goÖÖ
9:55 (1:15): Again the profound pleasure with the deep, deep diaphragmatic breathing. It feel so good, no bad effects whatsoever. It kills all worry and anxiety, it completely kills all motivation. I donít want to do ANYTHING. Why should I, I think? Why must I do or feel anything beyond this heavenly bliss? I become a bit worried as I start to gently coast down. I love this drug too much I think. Iíve never been truly addicted to anything besides caffeine and nicotine (which I quit) though I do smoke weed most nights, and I donít want to become addicted to an obscure research chemical with truly unknown effects. But Iíve never had anything feel quite so good eitherÖ.. what should I do?
10:30 (2:00) Iíve been coasting the internet, listening to music, trying to decide whether to redose again or not. The pros Ė it will feel great and I want it. The cons Ė I need to go to sleep at a reasonable hour and I donít know if Iíll be able to. Eventually the pros win. I weigh out another dose.
10: 45 (2:15): Line number #3 around 45 mg. I do a little smaller line because Iím worried about doing too much of this drug in one night, but Iím also worried that this wonít be enough.
10: 50 (2:20): It was enough! Back into the bliss. Oh fuckÖahhhhhhhh
11:10 (2:40): This one had a shorter duration but almost the same rush as the first two lines. As the feelings die down I realize Iíve had enough and need to call it quits.
12:00 (3:30): Now Iím experiencing residual stimulation though little if any euphoria or bliss. I donít like the stimulating effects, particularly since I donít want to be up all night and have nothing I need to work on and nobody to socialize with this evening. I also have a slight headache and generally feel bad. I vape a little indica which helps slightly, and pop a .5 mg alprazolam pill to help me sleep.
1:00 (4:30): I go to bed, and am asleep probably within 15 minutes. Unfortunately I only get to sleep 5 and a half hours before my kids wake me up.
The next morning I felt rough, but I donít know to what extent this was the 4-MEC since I usually feel groggy the next day after using Xanax to sleep. I noticed low energy level, a bit of irritability (but not too bad), and some sinus congestion. I started to feel a bit better after coffee, food and vitamins, but realized I will need a small dose of 4-FA or another stimulant to function effectively at work. I attribute this more to the Xanax and lack of sleep than the 4-MEC.
Retrospective: I deeply, deeply love this drug and this worries me considerably. Earlier this morning I had no desire to use it again but after writing this report and remembering what I felt I am very tempted to crush up some crystals and do a few lines right now. But if I do, I know what will happen Ė Iíll just want to do more, and then more, and wonít stop redosing until I start to feel a bit physically ill. Then my day will be shot and I will be a mess. Or, I could put it off, wait until this evening, but then the residual stimulation may keep me awake and I donít want to take more benzos or anything and repeat the stimulant/depressant cycle. I generally have pretty strong willpower and I think I can avoid using this right now but it is SO tempting. If I didnít have a job and family I know I would be snorting up lines of it already. If I can hold off, or even if I canít and do some later today, Iím going to make sure I take a few days off soon and then try it again either orally or rectally, as Iíve heard this may be less ďmoreish.Ē
Not being experienced much with MDMA, I do wonder if this is the ďrollingĒ Iíve heard about, and whether 4-MEC is like a shorter-lasting version of MDMA. But I do remember MDMA being more emotional, as is methylone, and for me this is just a pure escapist drug Ė the BLISS is the goal, the reason for this drugís existence, the reason for me to do it, and the only lesson I can learn from this is that pure bliss exists and if one canít get there by meditation or other means, 4-MEC is, at least for me, a sure-fire shortcut. Iím not sure if Iím getting myself in trouble or not or whether my worry-wart habits and generally strong sense of self-preservation are going to successfully guide me away from any problematic use of this substance. Or whether Iím overdramatizing the whole thing a bit. But I know this Ė I want that experience again, and Iím going to have it at least a few more times before Iím done. I'm reluctant to even share this experience report as I want this drug to stay legal and available for me to easily get and use. Don't fuck this up for me, kids.
Craving for it was hugely reduced after 24 hours.
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