Down the Rabbit Hole.......
Citation: sweetyellow. "Down the Rabbit Hole.......: An Experience with LSD (exp92139)". Erowid.org. Jun 24, 2021. erowid.org/exp/92139
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This is a vivid account of my first experience with LSD.
A little background information to set the mood. I am an anonymous twenty-year old female from Mississippi. The small town I live in is considered a metropolis, but in retrospect of other states it is still very much a small town. Not much to do, not much to see. One night recently, a trusted friend and dealer of mine offered to sell some acid he'd recently bought from New Orleans. LSD is something that I always knew I wanted to try; I had only heard wonderful things about it, but naturally, I had my doubts. I consider myself a chronic smoker of cannabis, every day usually when I can get it and multiple times a day. But I had not gone farther. The friends that I had along for the trip were my best girl friend, A, her boyfriend who we'll refer to as L, and his best friend C. All three of them had experimented with Molly and shrooms, to which they did nothing but rave about. It was a big step - one I had to seriously consider. But I figured it was a summer's night and I am only going to be this young for so long.
We needed a place. All of us were home from college, staying in our parents' houses respectively. I came up with the solid idea that we should rent a cheap hotel room - nothing fancy, just a room. It was ingenious, and it was settled. The next night, we would bunker down in a $50 per night, double bedded room and have a night I will remember for the rest of my days.
To prepare for such a night, we made a trip to Wal-mart, where we stocked up on activities. None of us were really sure how we would feel or react, so we wanted options. We loaded our buggy with crayons, coloring books, light up toys, and various snacks and beverages. I also bought a journal, with the intent to document this experience hour-by-hour. Then, after purchasing our drug of choice, we arrived at the hotel around 10:00 PM.
Before dropping, we had all taken about three flows of bud in the car, so we were already quite high.
The initial drop (around 10:30) - Room 217. After unloading all of our belongings and getting settled in, we immediately wanted to take the acid. None of us were sure how long it would last into the next day, so we figured the sooner the better. Gathered around in a circle on the beds, A passed out the tiny, yellow blocks of paper to each of us. Each paper contained 2 hits of LSD. Me and A were encouraged to take only 1 hit for our first time, because we were females. But both of us decided that if this was going to happen, it was going to happen epically. None of us spoke for a few seconds. I remember saying a silent prayer to whoever is up there just before - 'Please let me come out of this alright.'
The instant I put the paper under my tongue, I felt it releasing. The taste was terrible. A mixture of something that belonged under a car hood and a cleaning product you find under a kitchen sink. I felt it running into the back of my mouth and down my throat. Disgusting, but a taste I could bear. We were all silent for a few minutes, looking around to see what everyone else was feeling. After about ten minutes, all except L decided that it was okay to take the paper out. Our dealer told us that when we started tasting just the paper we were in the clear.
I didn't initially feel anything special. A and L, who still was sucking on the paper, went outside to retrieve something forgotten out of the car. I put on some tunes - I brought my iPod cube along that changed colors - and began to dance. C joined me. When they came back in, L began to feel sick. He retreated to the bathroom, and began to vomit. Everyone was a little worried; we thought that if he was puking, he was puking up all of his acid. There was nothing worse than the prospect of having a sober guy in the room while the rest of us were tripping heavily. Luckily, the nausea passed. For about twenty minutes, I felt very little effects. I was already stoned coming into it, so it just felt like I had smoked some really premium weed. But there was this internal happiness that I couldn't explain, like I knew I was about to have a fantastic night.
11:00- Me and C continued to move about the room, chatting and laughing about whatever. L and A had moved to the bed, lying down and staring at the ceiling. A calls me over - 'You should look at the ceiling.' I glanced up quickly, not really seeing much of anything. But I decided to give it a try. I laid down, C beside me. It was like a switch had instantly been flicked on. The ceiling was no longer just above us, lifeless and off white. It was breathing. The longer I stared, the more it moved around, in swirls and melted patterns. We were all amazed, constantly asking each other if we were all seeing the same thing. We were. Vomiting, as it turns out, had not affected L's means to trip at all. It had already been released in his system.
I thought this was all really cool, but I had yet to experience the realm of what it really means to hallucinate.
11:30 - The walls, made out of the same stucco paint as the ceiling, were now transforming. The patterns of the gathered paint were now turning into little soldiers. The whole wall looked like an army of tiny men in uniform. Somehow, we all found our way to the floor. Sitting in a circle, Indian style, we began to observe each other. I started with L. We looked into each other's eyes, both bearing the same wide-eyed expression. L's eyes were literally black, pupils completely dilated. This gave him the appearance of being soulless. I didn't like it at all. Also, and I remember this vividly, he began to go in and out of age. When I say this, I mean his hair went from being brown and his skin smooth, to being gray and wrinkly simultaneously. I didn't express this to him. We were both too shocked to speak. C expressed that we should put on some dubstep music, Skrillex to be more specific. Immediately, this became known as something none of us wanted. The beat was too heavy, the bass line too dark. It was eating away at me, and after a few seconds we begged him to turn it off. Looking down at my skin, I realized that I was changing colors. I remained somewhat tan, but the veins of my arms and legs were pulsating wildly. Faces and bodies were not at all okay to look at, at this point.
I began to focus on the walls. It brought me to tears. My mind knew that this wasn't actually happening - but was it? I was seeing it here, with my own two eyes. It may not have been reality, but whatever it was, I found it extremely breathtaking and beautiful. In fact, the whole damn room looked beautiful. This shitty, one star motel had transformed into a world of beauty.
This shitty, one star motel had transformed into a world of beauty.
It was then that I noticed a magazine we bought earlier in the evening - Elle Magazine, with Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake bearing the cover. The more I stared, the more I realized that they were staring back at me. It was not just a photograph anymore; these two people were really in the room with me. I could see wind whipping through Mila's hair, Justin bit his bottom lip. It was as if they were asking me to join them in their own little world inside this paper. An example of what I was seeing can be the way photographs are seen in Harry Potter - moving, living images. Suddenly, both of their eyes looked really dark and hypnotizing. It began to substantially scare me. I tossed the magazine across the room, face down.
12:30 PM - I don't remember who's idea it was to turn the lights off, but somehow the room went dark, all except the glowing, color changing iPod dock cube. L and A found themselves in their bed, curled into each other and squirming about. I looked over at them, instantly drawn to the potential touch of another human being. A called me over. I laid with them for a few minutes, and then things took a turn from friendly to sensual. Within minutes, we were all naked. I realized that C was not around. I called for him, and discovered that he had been in the bathroom by himself for an awfully long time. He came out, and looked completely bewildered. Apparently, he had been staring at himself in the mirror, something that I knew would not be advised at this level of brain activity. He looked extremely freaked out. But soon, he joined us in the bed for our cuddling session.
I have never been with another girl. I consider myself an advocate for gay and lesbian rights, but I myself am attracted to men and men only. But suddenly, I didn't care who I was touching. None of us did. Everything felt right. And I was completely engrossed in how turned on I had become. L and A continued on their pursuit for an orgasm, and began to hook up. I moved to the other bed with C. We hadn't done anything sexually, all he did was touch me, and I found myself yelling, 'We need a condom!' He had to constantly remind me that we were not having sex, but damn it, whatever was happening to me felt fucking incredible. I don't remember how many times I came, but it felt like a constant orgasm. Soon, we were all naked.
1:00 AM - C had seriously begun to freak out on me. He later told me that every time I looked at him, all he saw was a demon-like character looking back at him. He declined sex, which normally would have injured my feelings a tad bit. But where I was psychologically, I was fine with it. I reassured him it was okay, and he didn't have to do anything he didn't want to. I also found myself back in bed with L and A.
This was easily the most extreme, intense part of my trip.
I kept exclaiming for the air to be turned up, as I felt like at any moment I was going to burst into flames. But my skin was ice cold. I could no longer tell the difference between hot and cold.
Time also lost all meaning. A song that was playing felt like it was playing for seriously half an hour, and it had only been three minutes. Technology also lost all recognition. C's open laptop screen was swirling, unable to be comprehended. I tried to focus on what the song was called, but found that the letters and numbers were all jumbled.
Laying in the dark, in a sweaty bed, with the room glowing and changing colors rapidly to pounding music, I began to lose myself. I can't count the number of times I found myself shouting - 'I'm losing it!' Reality was gone. I tried my hardest to remember how I'd found myself in the room. But it felt like I had been there for months, not hours. I remember yelling, 'How long are we going to be here! What if we're stuck here forever!' I had to constantly bring myself back to prevent from seriously having an anxiety attack.
2:30 AM - The instant we turned back on the lights, the mood lightened. I learned that my perception of reality and what I was feeling was solely sensory. My mood altered with every song that came on, and it seemed like we were all changing together. Me and A remained nude, while the boys put on some pants. This was the first time for me to go into the bathroom and peer into the mirror.
First off, observing my naked body, I realized that I had no qualms with being naked. I am neither fat nor skinny, average is the best description. But I felt beautiful that night, like I never had to put on clothes again. But as I looked into my face, I realized what C had been talking about. The mirror was a scary place. My face was changing constantly, not at all appearing like my own. It felt like I was looking at someone who looked exactly like me, but it was a different person. A scary person, who I wanted nothing to do with. From then on out, I decided to leave the mirror alone for the night.
Around 3:00 AM - C remembered that he brought his acoustic guitar, and let L play it. Suddenly, me and A remember all of our activities that we brought. I busted out the Play-Doh, she grabbed the coloring book and crayons. The Play-Doh was so complex at that time. Every time I squished my hands into it, it transformed into some kind of new face. It was freaking me out. I gave the Play-Doh a rest. A now began lighting the tips of crayons on fire and letting the wax drip onto the paper. Suddenly, she was asking, 'Can I draw on your guitar?' I of course expected C to say no. It looked like a pretty nice brand of instrument. But to our surprise, he was completely down. She melted crayon wax all over its front, and I drew on it with Crayola markers. I wrote things like, 'Bold as love' and 'Words mean nothing'. I drew a little bird that I remember thinking was so good, but the next day looking at it, it looked like a giant blob with a beak. C loved every bit of it though, claiming he felt like 'Jimi Hendrix with a guitar like that'. We sat around like this for hours, in a dream like state, singing and harmonizing and laughing and tripping out of our minds.
5:30 AM - One of the main things we wanted to do was watch the sunrise. But the prospect that anything was outside the door of that motel room was too hard to grasp. C was the first to walk outside. I remember calling for him, scared. He didn't bring a cell phone, and we were not in a good part of town. Tripping up and down the sidewalks alone didn't seem like a good idea at all. 'What if he never comes back?' I asked.
But at this point, some filthy, raunchy Bassnectar had come on and I was feeling very sexual again. I laid next to A and L for a while, and began to partake in whatever they were doing. Suddenly though, when the song changed, sex became very boring. I got up and went to fiddle with the music. L and A kept calling me back, obviously with the intent of having a three-way. But I was not interested at all anymore.
6:00 AM - C convinced all of us to come outside. It was strange, too bright, too many things happening. But one thing was for sure. The sunrise was incredible. We were no longer tripping constantly, but it was coming to us in waves. The clouds just seemed to be like waves, riding the sky.
8:00 AM - The waves were becoming less and less intense. Now, I just had a very calm appreciation for everything around me. I laid in C's arms, while L and A made love on the other bed. It was a very natural feeling. Slowly, we progressively decided that we too should try out sex. We weren't at the point where we were hallucinating anymore, but everything still felt right.
Sex whilst coming down from a trip is incredible. I did not experience it whilst fully tripping, but honestly, I don't think I could've handled it. A simple touch sent me over the edge; actually getting physical with someone might have blown my mind past the point of recuperation. There is still that feeling of confidence, but now I felt like I was getting to know C on a more spiritual level. I knew exactly where to touch him, and the same went for him. In between, we would just lay there and let the music guide us.
9:00 AM - After smoking a few flows, we were all feeling extremely chilled. A blanket has never felt more comfortable, and I have never wanted to be next to a man so.
At this point, we all decided to try out sleep. It had been a long, tremulous, eventful evening. I have never slept harder in my life.
When we woke up, it was already past time to check out. Luckily, the motel manager was cool with a late checkout, but as we all gathered our belongings, I couldn't help but feel sad.
I have never felt more in touch with myself, what's around me, and who is around me.
I have never felt more in touch with myself, what's around me, and who is around me.
I didn't want it to end, and while I still felt that blissful buzz, the trip was over.
When we left that room, we were all changed people.
These are strictly personal; every trip is different, I know that. But words to the wise....
Don't trip with anyone that you do not want to be naked with. Because my grandfather could've been in the room with me, thank goodness he wasn't, but I still would've taken off my clothes.
Let your mind wander, but don't lose yourself completely. Of course it was interesting and fun while tripping to allow myself to think deep, dark thoughts. But thoughts are all that can be produced from this. I distinctly remember thinking at a point in the night that I could kill every person in the room with me. And while I thought this, I also had the notion that if I did kill my friends, they would all soon wake up and just laugh it off. Death didn't seem possible. I reared myself back in, obviously not acting on these thoughts. It was easy to get lost. I just had to find my way back.
I personally cannot wait to drop again. It was an overall positive experience, that I will never forget.
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