DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 mg	oral	Pharms - Clonazepam
T+ 8:00	2 mg	oral	Pharms - Clonazepam
T+ 10:00	750 mg	oral	Pharms - Pregabalin
T+ 10:00	5 mg	oral	Pharms - Clonazepam
T+ 10:00	4 mg	oral	Pharms - Alprazolam
T+ 19:50	7.5 mg	oral	Pharms - Zopiclone
T+ 19:50	2 mg	oral	Pharms - Alprazolam
T+ 27:00		oral	Coffee

BODY WEIGHT:

125 lb

I have had a very stressful time the past few months, a death in the family, conflict with parents, nervous about starting school and feeling anxious and lonely. It has been taking a toll on me. I have OCD, social anxiety and might be bipolar.

The other day the moment I woke up I felt horribly stressed like a 1000 ton weight on my chest and tormented by obsessive thoughts. I decided I would not stand for it today.

The other day I had taken about I think 525-700 mg of Lyrica (pregabalin), 5 mg of clonazapam and possible some Xanax (alprazolam). Later that day I felt all my obsessive thoughts melt away and I felt euphoric and light as a feather and very social and talkative. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest and I could conquer the world. My body felt weird kind of like being a little drunk but not as impairing. The effects felt kind of what I have heard about ecstasy which I have never tried.

Remembering this I prepared my dose. In the morning at 9:00 I took one mg of clonazepam which calmed me down a little. I still felt the horrible stress through the day though. At about 5:00 I took 2mg of clonazepam to prepare me for my tutor.

After a lesson on vectors which left me stressed and confused I decided to consume my dose. At 7:00 I took 10 capsules of pregabalin (750 mg), 5 mg of clonazepam, and 4 mg of alprazolam. I washed it all down with a can of Five-Alive which contains grapefruit juice. I should comment I have a large tolerance to benzodiazepines.

I then ate dinner and went on the computer waiting for the effects to begin, I did begin to feel a bit calmer but I still felt the stress weighing on me. This frustrated me since I had taken a heroic dose.

I went back to my temporary apartment and sat down and listened to some soundtrack and orchestral music and I was feeling some what calmer. I still didn't have the effect I desired so I went on google and found a hypnosis track to put me in trance. I have experience with hypnosis and have learned how to do it myself somewhat. I started listing to the track which contained binaural beats. I started to feel relaxed.

Then bam I wake up standing in the psych ward. Fuck I think I must have blacked out and done some crazy shit on benzos. The nurses were very hostile and pushing me around. My mom was there trying to get them to stop. But it was then I noticed some odd stuff. A person I know who goes to the same school I was going to was there talking to me. I have experience with Lucid Dreaming and instantly recognized that even though it doesn't feel like a dream, it must be some kind of illusion. My mom came over and handed me a tactical knife (wtf). I knew that since this was an illusion there is no morality whatsoever and I was basically god of this place. I proceeded to use the knife to repel the nurses. I remembered one of my favourite animes One Piece and decided to use a power from that show to summon lightning and fire to blast me out of the psych ward. I also knew I could fly DBZ style.

While elating in my ultimate power the scene started to fade. This Pseudo-Dream started to change the walls started to warp implode and suddenly the whole room imploded. I was then back in the real world but I was fully paralyzed. After fighting the paralysis I stumbled to the wash room and managed to urinate. I then went to my bed and laid down. I was back in the pseudo dream In full control of my actions but not realized my situation yet. I was at the school but it was not the school. It was an open road with many lamps I think. The student from before was there. Other people who I do not know were walking down the road with us but warned that an angry judge would punish us if we continued. I was talking with the student about the school and she was very friendly and told me to come and it would be good, Instantly I recognized this was an illusion and thought that my subconscious mind and possibly ESP was telling me to contact this person in real life and that school would be a better step in my life. I felt elated and euphoric in a profoundly spiritual way. I felt like a part of me had changed for the better. It is hard to put this spiritual experience in words but it was a true sense of friendship, love and hope. Looking back I believe possibly God decided to send me a message in my dream like he did with Joseph. We continued walking down the road but as we neared the judge the student said 'this is stupid' and started walking back. I followed. The scene devolved.

I was in an old style court room set up for a tribunal. The judge, and intimidating looking man accused me of taking drugs specifically zopiclone. I told the judge this is stupid and argued with him, but as I became lucid and was using my powers.

I was in the real world again. It was 4:30 am and I wanted to get back to this state. Wanting to get sleep and pissed at the judges accusation I went and took 7.5 mg of zopiclone, and to relieve the anxiety 2 mg of alprazolam. I then went back to my computer and played theta and delta binaural beats through my headphones. After a while I took them off.

I was then in a black void not knowing I was Lucid and could use powers. Facing me were Itachi and Madara Uchiha, and If you watch Naruto you know these aren't people to fuck with. They told me they were going to use Tsukuyomi on me, which Ironically was similar to what the the drugs did to me only it would feel like 72 hours of incredible torture. I got scared and closed my eyes to avoid it. The scene faded.

I then ended up on a weird road with a postman yelling we wanted to deliver something but I couldn't reach him and as I tried to run toward him he became further away.

Then I was living in a house with some the kids when the crazy owner says she wants to kill us. She pulls a knife and gets ready to get guns. I run and dial 911, but the 911 people are unhelpful and refuse to help me multiple times. I begged them for a swat team but they wouldn't help.

Now I am in an auditorium and a renowned person I know is in the room. All the students from my old high school is there. A man on a stage calls that students of a certain ethnicity should go up. I am of that ethnicity. My grandmother tells me my friends are of that ethnicity and my family and I are of that ethnicity and to go up. I walk up onto to to the stage and the man says I am not of that ethnicity and to leave. I become furious and anxious, realize the illusion and prepare to kill him with lightning.

Instantly I am back in my apartment and it is 10:00 am (day after I took the dose). I feel anxious about the last vision but then I remember the spiritual one and immediately feel empowered through it.

Since I have a rasputinian dose of sedatives and tranquilizers in my system I feel groggy and light for part of the day. Due to the spiritual experience and the long half life of the drugs I felt completely euphoric for the rest of the day even now as I am writing this report. At about 12:00 pm I had some caffeine which added to the outgoing effect. I feel outgoing, social, free of obsessions, and feel awesome like the effect from the other day without the body load. I feel like I could do anything and feel at complete peace and relaxation like these drugs should do. I planed to psychoanalyze the experience, and even sent the student a message to get in contact with this person in real life because I believe that vision and the feelings it gave me told me the right things to do.

I am going to start reducing my benzodiazepine dosage and taper off of them to remove my monstrous tolerance to them. I hear benzo addiction is worse than heroin and you can have seizures so I am going to do it slowly. Then when my tolerance is gone I will take them again when I start school and I will need them.

Overall I would try this experience again, and I was lucky I knew Lucid Dreaming or this could have been a really bad trip. It was spiritually enlightening for a short time and left me euphoric the day after.

I would also try this earlier in the day to get the euphoria and relaxation, and maybe try it again in the evening to get the clusterfuck of dreams and visions.

Remember that with drugs the results can be unexpected.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 92151
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Jan 15, 2021	Views: 4,872
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Dreams (85), Pharms - Pregabalin (418), Pharms - Alprazolam (98), Pharms - Clonazepam (125) : Alone (16), Entities / Beings (37), Addiction & Habituation (10), Combinations (3)