Citation: Axed. "Death Rebirth And Three Bathrooms: An Experience with 4-AcO-DMT (exp92174)". Erowid.org. Aug 23, 2011. erowid.org/exp/92174
After a couple glowing (+++) experiences with 2C-E, I had to continue on with something new to satisfy my fix for intense psychedelics. So I ended up being 4-AcO-DMT. I researched it heavily, while at the same time a close friend happened to take shrooms for the first time, and raved about it. I knew this is what I wanted, so I ordered 500mg.
Again I found myself in one of my favorite places to escape, my friendís extravagant vacation house. Since it was his birthday, I gave him the present of drugs. He, myself, and the shroom-taking friend all dosed around 35mgs of the powder, dissolved in a drink. We decided to take it very early, virtually as soon as I woke up, probably around 12:30-1pm. I have never daytripped before this, so I was certainly excited. Once we took it, we rejoined our friends on the deck. It was a beautiful, 85 degree summer day. Perfect setting. There were a solid seven or eight other people there, but they just stuck to smoking and drinking.
The effects came on pretty fast, making my pupils huge. As usual with these RCs, I was very nauseous at the beginning, but it subsided eventually. The three of us sat on one side of the deck, with the others comically on the other side, turned towards us, waiting for us to do something silly. Perhaps it was this thought, of being seen like zoo animals that initiated the bad part of my trip. For some reason I felt like I had to act normal, participate in conversation, and such, but I was unable to do much but listen. I started to become filled with negative thoughts, and fear. Real, true fear that I was going to die. The drugs must have affected my logic, as I thought that as I was coming up, I was dying. I thought the vendor mixed up the drugs, and we had taken lethal levels of some other drug, or that I had simply overdosed. I tried to think back to my family, but it was hard to reach even that far back. Still, I felt bad for the trauma I would put them through if I died. I thought of how it would look like a glamorous death, overdosing on white powder in an expensive beach house. My brain was on overdrive, trying to be rational, but failing. Part of me knew I would be fine, even if I fell asleep, which I was trying to avoid at all costs. I thought if I fell asleep, I would never wake up.
At this point, the hallucinations were already extremely vivid. The line of trees in his backyard seemed to engulf most of my vision past the deck. I felt like everything was closing in on me. This was the end. I had put on my playlist of trippy music, but it was too intense at one point and I had to take it out. I was also scared by the auditory hallucinations that I was hearing. The music, as well as other sounds in general, would slow down, then speed back up to normal. I couldnít believe what I was hearing. Noises also got very weird, weird enough that itís difficult to explain, but when I heard it, I could place it. I guess the closest is that things sounded kind of tinny, thin, high pitched. I didnít know what to think of any of this, as I havenít really had much experience with auditory hallucinations. Around this time is when the loops started as well. I would hear one bit of the music, then hear it again. My thoughts also repeated themselves.
But at some point during this awfulness, I let go. I accepted whatever was going to happen to me, and even though I was still tripping hard in a bad way, I joined my other dose-mates in dancing to whatever was playing. This made me feel a lot better, even though I wasn't much in the dancing mood. And then suddenly, it was like the clouds parted, and the sun poured down on my soul. After dancing, our sinuses out of nowhere emptied themselves. I was laughing hysterically, unable to stop myself, while simultaneously sobbing. My other friend blew his nose multiple times, and it was one of the first times of many that we compared ourselves to both useless babies, and old people.
I went with my friend to put on bathing suits, and while doing that, almost succumbed to lying down to nap many times. I felt an amazing sense of euphoria that went on to last for hours. I didnít end up putting on my bathing suit, but in my delight, went into the pool with all my clothes on. Being in the pool was amazing, as the water held me, floating on the surface or screaming to my tripping partners in happiness. We literally felt like retired elderly, living in Florida and spending time with their friends in the pool. Visuals were beautiful, with the swirling type that I saw a lot of with 2C-E, especially in the trees surrounding the backyard. Again they looked like tendrils, coming in towards me. I also again saw things looking like they were pulsating and breathing. But new to this drug was the detailed pixilation I was seeing in. Looking close at people, I saw distinct, blocky pixels instead of smooth skin. Colors were intensified. Everything looked like there was a layer of invisible puzzle pieces over it. I could see the lines of the pieces, fitting together snuggly.
Once I left the pool it became a whirlwind of craziness. I never really knew what time it was, because even when I would find out, I would forget moments later. My mantra for the trip was ĎWaitÖwhat time is it?í, because it always mystified me how time was stretched in such odd ways. Me and my other friend that was tripping decided to take a bath, because we thought it was a beautiful bath with a great view of the backyard. But first we had to go to the basement for whatever reason. I went to the bathroom, and she waited in there with me to go. But at this point, I couldnít move off of the toilet. I just sat there, talking to her, both of us out of our minds. She brushed her teeth, and did so for far longer than necessary, just going out it. It was around this time that I realized the true craziness of the drug was not in the visuals, but in how it changed my thought process. I would want to do one thing, but immediately be taken with something else, and then something else, while completely forgetting about the first thing. Then Iíd snap back to what I originally planned to do, only to forget about it moments later. It was the vicious cycle of constantly being refreshed and awoken with bursts of euphoria, after downtime of deep introspection.
Once we got to the bathroom with the bathtub, our other friend that was tripping joined us, and what followed was us going mad in there. She had the bathtub, and he had the shower stall. I was very ambivalent, going between the two constantly, looking in the large mirror, looking out the window to the people that were still in the backyard. I donít know how much time we spent in there, but it felt like forever. It took even longer to detach myself from my two friends to go put on dry clothes. Every time I left, I returned to say something. This kept going on until I finally could go change. Putting on dry clothes was an amazing relief, and only heightened all of my feelings.
We proceeded to run around like nuts, while the rest of the people in the house were finally getting into their own groove, being fairly drunk and high. It just added to the overall vibe of happy, glorious, euphoria. At some point later I found myself in the third bathroom of the day. My tripping friend and I sat on the floor in there, looking around. The circular tiles on the wall bloomed at us, and the windowpanes moved in their space. We marveled over the power that this drug had over reality, everything it did to us. We got philosophical. We felt so close to each other in that small bathroom, slipping more and more into the corner, behind the door. This made for complications when people tried to come in, only a couple succeeding. One of our friends came in, and we complimented her copiously on her beauty. Another friend came in and gave us a hand-rolled cigarette, which we happily smoked. Before this I had not smoked much that day, as doing so would have upset my stomach further. We constructed a text to send to his mother, which went well, although in retrospect could have ended horribly. Finally I left the bathroom, just to happen upon a cake fight. I was cake-slapped, but just accepted it, went on the deck, smoked a cigarette and some weed.
By now I could tell that I was starting to come down, but I tried to milk the trip for what it was worth. I sat by myself, reflecting on everything. Then, it was as if someone gently plucked me out of 4-Aco-DMT world and placed me back into reality. The euphoria subsided and I was left with a sense of general well-being, an afterglow if you will. When I looked off into space, I could see some residual visuals trying to present themselves, but the magic was gone.
This was an amazing experience. I learned a lot about myself, as well as my companions that I took the 4-AcO-DMT with. The euphoria I experienced was not even paralleled by my favorite MDMA rolls. I only have a few negatives to speak of. There was the bad part of the trip, which was terrifying. I have never thought I was going to die, with such a real fear like that. But if this was my first glimpse at ego loss, I take it as a learning experience, because I came out fine on the other end. That rebirth, renewal, reincarnation (whatever you want to call it), made it all worth it. The only other thing I can complain about it that I canít seem to recollect some of the trip. I feel like I did not have the same problem to this extent with the 2C-E. But perhaps it was just the crazy atmosphere and insane time dilation. I cannot wait to try this substance again!
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