Citation: Hellestopholes. "Very Real Danger of Death: An Experience with Methoxetamine (exp92242)". Erowid.org. Aug 4, 2011. erowid.org/exp/92242
Methoxetamine - 150mg all at once sublingually
At home, 10pm at night. In pretty good health. No particular worries or responsibilities to cloud the trip. Housemate asleep in bed in the other room. I am no stranger to all kinds of Psychedelic and Dissociative substances, as I experimented extensively with all of them in my 20s with minimal side effects back then.
Well people, I have taken MXE as far as it goes and am lucky to be alive. Thanks to the intervention of my housemate I was rushed to hospital in a catatonic state which lasted 8hrs. 150mg under the tongue.......and the stuff was so pure and powerful I didn't even have a chance to get to my room before I left the planet. It was kind of like watching someone else do it. In my current state of mind I wouldn't even consider dosing it like this as I know this was reckless behavior.
It was the most far-out adventure beyond what I could even imagine. For those hours I have no memory of what went on physically as the doctors tried to keep my body alive. I was told later that they thought I had had a stroke and was brain damaged, in a coma (until the tests showed no organic damage and I started to come to.) Everyone thought I had intentionally overdosed to try suicide, but nothing could be further from the truth! They had me on all these machines to monitor my shallow breathing and minimal heart-rate while I was elsewhere, fully conscious and aware in another life which lasted decades in my perceived time-frame.
It reminds me now of a cross between the underlying themes from the movies Inception (dreams more than 3 levels deep) and Sucker Punch (alternative realities during psychosis). It had that kind of 'flavour'. In the 'Nexus' I died peacefully of old age in my sleep finally, surrounded by light. Although I knew it was not the end, I was slightly troubled by the grief and worry I felt coming from my loved ones as I descended to Earth. This concern was for their sake, as I felt no pain whatsoever.
It saddens me that I can't tell anyone in fullness of what I saw. I was told in no uncertain terms that It is forbidden knowledge and we are not supposed to know these things until the end of our lives. There is a reason for this that must be trusted. - 'Tis the stuff of madness. 'Ghost of Perdition' by Opeth is the closest musical equivalent to this experience.
What I CAN say is that I now believe that eternal life is awaiting us all, if we choose to believe. We are the only judges of how we have lived our lives and the quality of the next life is determined by what we feel we have earned in this one. I'm not there yet, have a long way to go. So much still to be done and so many years left to do it. It is not yet my time. I get that now. Any further exploration of these boundaries may lead to my untimely death, which I do NOT want. Although I was ultimately physically unharmed due to the clean, non-toxic nature of this chemical I still came very close to dying as I took far too much without having an experienced sitter. When fully anaesthetised (K - Hole plus) a person is supposed to be closely monitored by medical professionals, or at the very least an aware trip-sitter. I arrogantly chose to ignore this fact and it nearly cost me EVERYTHING. This is The End, beautiful friend INDEED.
The compulsive nature of this experience leads me to believe that MXE can be very dangerous if one develops too strong an attachment to it. The effect was far beyond
any psychedelics or dissociatives I have ever tried. The most beautifully terrifying adventure EVER - but with an aftermath of rough social consequences and a hell of
a mess to clean up back home. And I have only taken it TWICE. Also seems to have affected my initial spelling of words a little, kind of like a temporary dyslexia.
This is improving day by day, and is subtle.
What a crazy new world I've come back to now. The whole trip lasted over 12 hours and the effects still linger slightly. This is the 5th day since the incident and I
haven't felt this alive in years. My odd lack of remorse makes me think MXE can produce Narcissistic tendencies in some people. Luckily, I'm aware of this so I
choose to be a lot more careful in future. I'm going to do my best to avoid taking drugs like this again until I'm on my death bed 50 years from now!
MXE would be a very sweet and kind alternative to Morphine for the terminally ill or grievously injured who are suffering. Hell, Opiates are just poison compared to this stuff. Medical Researchers - start scientifically researching Methoxetamine now!! (if you aren't already ) OH - and PLEASE don't try what I did unless you have a responsible, sober sitter at hand. It may be the last thing you ever do in this life.
*Time to properly explore NON-drug techniques for stepping outside This Organic Matrix. ;-]
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