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Bittersweet Loss of Magic.
MDMA
by Light
Citation:   Light. "Bittersweet Loss of Magic.: An Experience with MDMA (exp92737)". Erowid.org. Feb 2, 2018. erowid.org/exp/92737

 
DOSE:
120 mg oral MDMA (pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT: 165 lb


Lemme start this report by saying I'm an 18 year old male. I had been experimenting with multiple substances (Diphenhydramine, DXM, cannabis, adhd meds such as adderall, and many many opiates, almost all). However, nothing ever compared to the first substance I ever took: MDMA.

I had been taking MDMA for almost 2 years, when this 'trip' occurred. However, I had taken a small break from rolling for about 2 and 1/2 months.

8:00pm sharp -- ingested a nice clean pill (green dolphin). The pill had been tested by Simon's and Marquis testing kits, and turned the proper colors for both.

~ 8:45pm -- My come up was a bit more nauseous than my usual come ups, and I felt like throwing up, however I kept it in. I had suspicions that I had taken a 'pipe' and thought I was in for a bad time.

~9:00pm -- I am fully up, and no longer feeling as nauseous. However, I feel as though something was wrong. I was rolling, pretty hard, actually. But something was wrong. I decided to wait it out a whole another hour.

~10:00 pm -- Nothing really changed much. More eye wiggles. Jaw clenching. Nothing out of the ordinary for MDMA. However, I still felt as though there was just something 'missing.' Very difficult to explain. No rolls previous to this one had been so... 'weird.' I was pretty intoxicated, so no doubt the MDMA had kicked in, and there was in no way a dosage issue. Music felt good, and I felt a bit energetic.

~11:30pm -- I felt the comedown, a little bit. It was a gradual comedown, most unlike my previous experiences. I felt stimulated and there was no fatigue like I usually felt. I decided to finally just lay down and relax and talk to friends for a bit. I passed multiple hours just waiting for myself to come down completely.

~4:00pm -- I am no longer stimulated nor feeling the effects.. I feel tired. But still having difficulty going to sleep. I had come to the realization that MDMA had lost it's magic.

It's been a few days since the experience and I'm still trying to cope with the fact that the magic is gone for me. I flushed down the rest of my pills and the two capsules of molly. I didn't have a proper hangover, but I did have a slight headache the next day, much like my usual hangovers. It feels odd that most of my friends still have the magic and still maybe rolling, but I guess it's time for me to move onto better things besides experimentation. I am sort of glad this realization came at this time, and I feel bittersweet about it all. Eh. Anyway, just wanted to let people know that for some of us, MDMA does lose it's 'magic.' Something I, myself, did not believe.


Exp Year: 2011ExpID: 92737
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 18 
Published: Feb 2, 2018Views: 735
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MDMA (3) : General (1), Not Applicable (38)

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