An Unhinged Mind
DXM
by astraldisaster
Citation:   astraldisaster. "An Unhinged Mind: An Experience with DXM (exp9275)". Erowid.org. Oct 31, 2020. erowid.org/exp/9275

 
DOSE:
25 tablets oral DXM (pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT: 125 lb


[Erowid Note: Most Coricidin contains CPM (Chlorpheniramine Maleate) which can be dangerous in high doses. See DXM Brand Warnings for more info.]

This happened several months ago, so I'll attempt to transcribe events as accurately as I remember them.

This was not my first time taking Coricidin, but this time, I was looking for a different experience than I had had before with the drug. In retrospect, it largely stemmed from my desire to have a moderately self-destructive experience, with possible healing repercussions afterwards. This drive has manifested itself in different ways in me - from shaving my head and eyebrows in a fit of spontaneous rage, to taking dangerous amounts of various drugs, to involving myself in several very illegal situations (a different story, and not something I am proud of). In this case, I decided to take a huge dose of DXM, to experience first-hand a deeply dissociative state. A few friends of mine with whom I had taken Coricidin in the past warned me against it, and in fact talked me down from my original plan of taking 32 pills to only 25. Looking back, I am very grateful for that.

It was Halloween night when I decided to go through with it and down all 25 pills at once. I split them up into three piles, since I couldn't swallow all 25 at the same time, and quickly swallowed all three, with water. The pills tasted sweet on my tongue and went down easily. I decided to go watch some television while I waited for the pills to kick in (it usually took about half an hour), so I went downstairs and watched Snow White: A Tale of Terror. (Like I said, it was Halloween.) After about forty five minutes, the pills still hadn't taken effect, so I went back upstairs to my bedroom and played around with my computer for a few minutes. Then all at once, the pills struck. Hard.

I should mention that drugs usually affect me like this, taking a while to set in and then doing so fairly quickly. I guess it is my metabolism. Anyway, I knew immediately when they started to work, because all at once it was like I could feel the top come off of my head, and I couldn't really see straight. That was when I knew that I was in for something way more serious than I had anticipated. I could feel a storm a' brewin. I had trouble holding myself up and I rushed over to my bed to lay down. I had to concentrate to keep breathing; my breaths were short and shallow. I could feel cold sweat pouring out of me. Briefly I thought of calling for help - I thought 'Oh shit, I've done it this time, I took too much. I'm going to go crazy or die or forget to breathe.' Rather than panic, however, I forced myself to calm down and breathe slowly and flow with where the drugs wanted to take me. It was hard at first, but then I threw up a few times and felt much better. I was barely conscious at that point, but after I threw up, I abruptly snapped upright and looked around myself. I felt hypersensitive, like my senses were honed to razor-sharp. I felt vibratory, like every atom was shaking. The world around me looked wavy and surreal. It was like that episode of Aeon Flux where Trevor hides the mayor by making him vibrate faster than the world around him, and the only way to see the mayor was to put on a device that made you vibrate at his rate, at which point the rest of the world faded out because it was vibrating slower. Well, the mayor was me this time.

The next few hours are a blur in my memory. I know that I faded in and out of consciousness for at least five or six hours before I finally went to sleep. I experienced very few OEVs except for waviness in the air; as for CEVs, I saw indistinct, blurry shapes, similar to the liner notes for The Fragile (Nine Inch Nails CD) or any Underworld music video. My mind, on the other hand, was racing at a million miles a second. I remember being unaware of where I was, who I was, what I was doing...finding myself in a completely separate universe where only I existed. I also remember being flooded with bizarre thoughts and glimpses of strange concepts that I quickly lost when I tried to focus on them. The whole time I felt as if the top of my head had been flung open, and either I flew out of it, or something else flew in. I'm apt to think that it was a combination of the two; myself and whatever external force possessed me flowed back and forth in unison.

The next morning I woke up at a reasonable hour, feeling a little murky in the head, but otherwise fine. Everything I had experienced the night before seemed like a dream, like something much farther away than just the few hours it had been. Much to my surprise, I found out that at some point in the night I had emailed my friend Charlie nearly thirty times (something I had no recollection of whatsoever). Most of what I had sent him was incomprehensible, but what little could be made out was very intriguing. I am ordinarily a very emotionally reserved person, but the letters I sent him were full of raw emotion and anger. I mentioned several times having awareness of 'things I could not imagine', but at least once mentioned that my 'brain was closing'. I also talked about hating my life, hatred of myself, thoughts of suicide...anger at my job, my life, myself, puberty (in one VERY angry letter), etc. It brought to light alot of issues I had with myself and my life that I would not have necessarily been aware of had it not been for the Coricidin.

Overall, it was an interesting experience, and just as I had hoped, it was the chemical equivalent of splattering my brains on the wall. I really think the experience was diminshed due to the high amount of DXM consumed, however. Because I was in and out of consciousness, I didn't really get a chance to enjoy the trip and observe it with any sort of rationality. Sixteen to eighteen would be a more practical maximum for future excursions, for a more easy to handle trip. For an average, fucking-around-on-the-weekend trip, I only take eight. I've almost exhausted the extent of what can be experienced on DXM, though, so I'll probably get out of it pretty soon.

Exp Year: 2000ExpID: 9275
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Oct 31, 2020Views: 429
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DXM (22) : First Times (2), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)

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