Citation: SleepyE. "The Grabbing Entities: An Experience with Syrian Rue & DMT (exp92808)". Erowid.org. Apr 20, 2021. erowid.org/exp/92808
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 1:15
First REAL pharmahuasca trip.
This trip happened around 2 months ago.
It was my second attempt in pharmahuasca because last time I tried I took around 3.8 grams of rue and didn't grind it into a powder, about 45 minutes later I took 200mg DMT in a capsule which only ended up causing a slight head change, no distinct visuals.
In retrospect I'm a bit glad I went a little more modest on my sec...ond attempt because oh boy was this experience intense.
This time I took 4 rue which I powdered and drank it with water.
This time I waited much longer to take the dmt. Roughly 75 minutes and I then put 200mg of dmt in a small shot of lemon juice, and held it sublingually in my mouth for 5-6 minutes and then swallowed.
This time it worked amazingly!
About 20 mins later I felt the DMT presence slowly crawling.
I was watching nice looking fractal patterns that were matrix-like and it took shape of walls and strange places with square tunnels and stuff.. Normal things I see in low dose smoked dmt.
I quickly went to my bed and turned off all lights and sound, I love trippin like this, especially intense trips like dmt. And the trip's intensity kicked up almost immediately, after five mins I was completely out of body in hyperspace, I had dozens of humanoid entities grabbing at me inside beautiful alien like hyperspace patterns and places. The most complex visuals I have ever had.
I was travelling through different hyperspace rooms quite beautiful and seemed visually impossible. I was chilling with strange loving humanoid entities and after I was looking down in this strange out of body experience dimension and I could see my lovely 'inner demons' as some sort of menacing troll crouching and it looked like it was in a vent leading too doom.
I decided I wanted to play with the troll/negative feelings that is part of psychedelic's wide range of experiences. I'm my mushrooms trips I usually try hard not to get sucked into negative feelings like horror, despair, suffering, and fear but it usually happens dispite that.
Anyways the trip's visuals quickly took a dark turn and scary but I was happy and wanting for this to happen, this caused the negative feelings to be unable to attach on to me because I was loving the negativity as someone would admire a painting so I was quite disappointed that the negativity trip quickly dissolved so I couldnt experiment and explore the darkness, to feed my curiosity. I feel my trips aren't complete unless I have travelled in the darkness for some time. I dont see negativity as good or bad just part of life, I guess its a sick pleasure of mine.
In the darkness there were similar humanoid entities but they were agressive and attacking this was quite a cool experience, they were literally throwing punches, this was quite entertaining.
As the darkness of the experience faded the trip turn extremely introspective, moreso then any other trip on other psychedelics.
So many feelings and ideas crossed my mind. Like how I'm always trying to explore phenomenon because I thought it was like the only mystery in life, but then I thought about the fact that I'm even alive at all, like how did I get here and become conscious. That alone is a complete mystery/phenomenon, and wonder! I must be lucky that I'm part of such a family as existence.. Then I thought about how it must be horrible to not exist. I'm open to my life changing but I'm sure my existence is eternal. I feel I will always be part of nature and be a product of nature.. This makes me feel warm inside. I also was feeling intense feelings of love for my family and thought about how I need to treat my family with more love and support and be more forgiving(this has been a constant theme in my trips). I had INTENSE ego death, I saw my personality slipt into pieces and the visual representation of the pieces was lost in hyperspace and I was not myself anymore, I was consciousness/fused with the mind of nature feeling like I'm everything. Basically god.
This makes me think god may transcend all good and evil and is just above it.. The creator of something brilliant that adds so much options and complexity to existence.
The open eye visuals were the most intense I've ever had because I was stuck in hyperspace eyes open and closed, like I would see my room but it is like decorated in hyperspace complex machinary including systems of gears moving with incredible colour moving all around while seeing humanoid entities running around in my room. Sometimes I felt them sit on my bed.. Their company was amazing. This is probably my first experience with true hallucinations, those beings were as clear to me as day.
I love seeing entities of my subconsious become alive like this. SOO cool..
The trip peaked three times, I kept thinking the trip was over but it always came back even stronger. It seemed like forever but the trip only lasted 4.5 hours.
The trip for some reason seem SOO much like mushrooms to the point where I sometimes forgot I was doing dmt and was actually on mushrooms. I guess all natural psychedelics will lead to the dmt experience it is just much easier to get that high on DMT. BOY WAS I HIGH.
THE. MOST. INTENSE. EXPERIENCE. OF. MY. LIFE
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