Citation: Hedgeclipper. "The Process and the Infinite Oneness: An Experience with DPT (exp92869)". Erowid.org. Sep 21, 2011. erowid.org/exp/92869
||(powder / crystals)
I had my first and so far sole experience with DPT around 8 months back. I was initially somewhat traumatized, but I believe I've since learned the meaning of the experience and come to terms with whatever it was. I am now in rehab for heroin addiction, where I am encouraged to look at a few things that have happened in my life, DPT being one of the big ones, so I decided to write a trip report:
One night I was with my friend who will go by the pseudonym K. He had done a lot of lucy and a few research chemicals before the experience, whilst I had done only research chemicals and mush. I had not yet popped my acid cherry. We got into a heated discussion over about drugs and the like and I told him about the Damned Powerful Tryptamine. He was eager to try it and I had been thinking about it for a long time so we decided to go over to my friend's house (He will be P). Of course, neither of us could have possibly fathomed what we were in for...
The three of us went down to P's basement and weighed out the lines. P did 200mg as he had tried it before and insisted that K and I do at least 150mg, in order to fully break through and get past the point of fear and anxiety. So we weighed out the lines and stared at them in a silent buildup of anticipation for nearly half an hour, which reached its climax when P yelled 'Why do we do this to ourselves?' and the three of us simultaneously snorted the powder.
It felt like a needle frozen to absolute zero penetrating my nose a thousand times, then, a cold tremor slowly spread through my body from my nose to my fingertips. It felt as if I were falling into ice water nose-first in slow motion and the entire room violently shifted, and trailed off. A feeling of the most profound unfamiliarity spread through my mind, body and soul and I waved my hand in front of my face to test the visuals. I expected some trails. Instead I saw an indescribable number of solid versions of my hand, slightly overlapping each-other, plastered across my vision. The hands proceeded to fractalize into infinity, with far too many iterations for my mind to process.
K and I looked at each other and, while English still existed, I screamed 'what the fuck did we just snort!?' And we both leaped for the benzos that were sitting on the table. Some cosmic entity must have judged us for our cowardice and the table simply melted away before my eyes. I'm still not sure whether or not we took the benzos, but after this I was confronted with a horribly mutated, distorted version of myself. The changes in my body somehow represented my naiveté and fear and it disgusted me. It said 'drugs...' and the word was repeated infinitely until all connotations were stripped from the sound, and then the peak began... I felt the psychedelic tremors build in my body until it felt as if I was lying on concrete next to a jackhammer, but the vibrations were coming from within me, pumping through all my veins and nerves simultaneously. My body and soul were being stretched and squeezed through every nook and cranny of the cosmos. I was imploding and exploding, concave and convex, happy and sad, whilst tunneling through all possible dimensions and the sensory overload was too much to bear, and then I died.
Suddenly, I found myself looking down from the ceiling on all three of our bodies mutilated, with blood pouring out of all orifices and I felt surprisingly calm. I thought to myself 'Well, I guess we just killed ourselves. We can only go forward from here.' For an indescribable period of time I lived in the world of death and fear, with eyes in all the walls staring into my soul. There had been an awful glitch in the universe and it would remain this way for eternity. I was granted hundreds of new and completely alien senses -- which would be like describing sight to a blind man -- and my unfamiliar sensory apparatus was being poked and prodded with painful impossibilities and the world of death simply was. We had the vague idea that something 'normal' had existed before, but that was eons ago and we were forced to relinquish all preconceptions and familiarities and then something beautiful happened. I felt the tiniest spark of life and it built up until it was stronger and stronger and brighter and brighter and, suddenly, the elastic band of my perception snapped.
It felt as if I had been drowning and swimming upwards for years and I had finally reached the surface. It reminded me of the scene from The Matrix where they break through the clouds and see the true sky for a split second. I felt all of life's vibrations simultaneously. I felt all the living that ever had happened and ever would happen and my consciousness was lit up with the most vibrant beautiful, impossible colour. I could see every submicroscopic particle vibrating with life and I lived in this world and I caressed its every atom, when I was confronted with a lurking fear, an impurity in the beauty. And it built up more and more until I was back in the room in the basement.
I felt pure hatred and lonliness and was lost in a timeloop, the rag doll of all sorts of horribly mutated, hateful entities, which were laughing at me from all around. I was a naked baby in the deepest, darkest corner of reality, with absolutely no sympathy or compassion. (I somehow likened this feeling to a knockoff electronics store in Chinatown). But it was all worth it when I felt the love.
I was brought to a world where I felt the pure and distilled essence of love, every particle. It was love in all its forms; sexual, emotional, physical and of the purest beauty conceivable. My new senses were being stroked and caressed by the universe and I felt all love that ever was or ever would be. Time no longer had meaning. I felt hints of what was to come. My ego was completely obliterated and all that there was was love and it was beautiful and complete. I was held at the very peak of orgasm for millennia and then that climactic feeling somehow fractalized and I felt millions of iterations of the feeling of pure physical and emotional pleasure all at once and my hundreds of senses were melded together in pure synesthesea. The words 'ecstasy' and 'bliss' fall light-years short of describing it.
I lived in the worlds of polar opposite emotions for years, and it felt like they were coming together, spiraling upward, intertwining with each other more and more tightly, like the chainsaw buildup of a techno drop. My perception was changing and morphing so quickly my brain could hardly process its surroundings. It was like playing a high quality movie and a slow computer, with everything lagging, somehow beautifully. My reality moved forward in beautiful arabesque, intertwining lines, weaving into each other, somehow digitally. I felt the collective God of the universe whisper to me and hint at Itself and then zang! Every atom of my body was simultaneously split into infinite thermonuclear explosions. I felt my body go through the process of nuclear fusion and I became a star, where all possible realities and all polar opposites came together into one beautiful singularity. It was the point where all complements unite, where all things come together, where there is no future, present or past, time is solid and distilled and meaningless, the purest expression of the oneness of the universe. It was like staring into the Sun for a thousand years, the light of the universe blinding all your senses and burning straight into your soul. There is no I, there is no ego, it simply is. It is God. It is The Process.
This was the DPT peak, the most mind-blowing possible experience and, as if to conclude this part of the experience, I was, once again confronted with a strange version of myself. This time, however, my form was immaculate and fine, emanating serenity and infiniteness, sitting in the lotus position and hovering above the ground with one finger to my lips. It was as if to say 'The old you was wrong. This is no drug. This is holy. This is a sacrament.'
After the peak, once the ego begins to return, however, is the truly bizarre part of the trip. I found myself, once again in P's basement. I was not yet back in my own body, but I now had some perception of my surroundings. I was seeing myself and my friends from a third-person perspective and the room was made out of some sort of grotesque organic matter, with the walls consisting of grimy organs and blood vessels and thousands of terrible eyes staring at me. It was like being in a Zerg building from Starcraft.
The trip then became some sort of awful parody of my own existence, taking on a dark and demonic funhouse sort of feeling, where everything was distorted and mutated in some sort of horrifyingly comedic way. I looked at K and said 'dude, what the fuck?...' and pointed at K, then he pointed at P and P made a strange dismissive sort of gesture and then I said 'dude, what the fuck?...' and pointed at K and he pointed at P and, horrifyingly, the cycle continued. I found myself stuck in an incredibly long timeloop and I thought myself that, if I didn't play my part in the loop, it would end, but every time it came around to my turn to make my gesture and, thus, continue the loop, I would find myself pointing at K. I had somehow lost my free will it was horrifying. I truly believed I would be stuck in this loop eternally, but something strange happened: K's third eye opened up and he bent down and vomited out his consciousness.
There was this pink vomit-like fluid floating around the room. It looked like a liquid, but somehow it was solid. K's glasses had fallen in the liquid and we simply stared at his consciousness with his glasses sitting in it and looked at each -other with the strangest expressions. Then I saw him in the fetal position shivering, with the most horrified expression I have ever seen on his face and some of the pink liquid which represented his consciousness found its way into my mind and I felt what it was like to be him for a split second and I started to get the fear too.
We still remained in this liquid, but somehow solid horror -- funhouse world --except now with a touch of a digital feeling -- for what seemed like forever and I still had no idea I had taken a drug, but I knew that I had been in that basement for far too long and if I remained there much longer, I would, in all likelihood, be stuck in that tormenting basement of purgatory for eternity. So I made a run for the door, I ran for the stairs and climbing the steps was a harrowing journey, as if through the intestinal tract of some strange monster, with my mind fully focused on that beautiful, shimmering doorknob. And, as soon as my hand touched the doorknob, I found myself sitting back in the chair, as if some cruel entity would rewind time whenever I came close to escape, toying with me horribly. I kept going in this process for ages until what sounded like some sort of cosmic laugh track played. A cacophony of terrible laughter filled my ears and I felt the most intense possible feeling of embarrassment. I had made some sort of horrible mistake and all of humanity was laughing at me.
Somehow, we finally managed to make it out of the basement. It felt like it had been years. I was confronted with the most amazing possible sense of relief to see the upstairs of the house. The world was still profoundly abnormal, but at least we had escaped the basement. Things from the past kept happening in the future and the future in the present and the present in the past all at the same time. Time was not even remotely linear, but we could at least walk around at this point.
We had previously decided not to go outside, onto the street while on DPT, but we no longer cared. We saw the front door and believed our only hope to escape the eternal limbo of the monstrous house was to go out onto the street, no matter what we would confront out there. So, we somehow managed to open the front door and what we saw shocked our mutual existence to its very core. We opened the door, and there was nothing outside. Our little trip was all of existence and when we came to that horrible solipsist realization, I remember looking at P and K and seeing the most profound expressions of terror possible.
Next, P's brother came downstairs. He looked like some sort of awesome god-like entity. I couldn't even speak after the shock of the lack of existence outside the house, but K believed P's brother was God and confessed all his mortal sins to him, praying at his feet.
Eventually we reached our comedown. At this point it was like being on maybe a ten strip of LSD, but our egos started to find their ways back into our bodies. K said 'didn't we have names?' 'weren't we people?.' P said 'didn't we live in Montreal?' I said 'yeah, yeah, yeah. I was K and you were J,' and K said. 'No, no. It was the other way around.' And eventually we all figured out who were were. The rest of the trip was still somewhat terrifying and apparently I died at some point and P gave me CPR, but it might have just been a metaphor. Either way, I woke up almost a day later and I had slept for a very long time, my brain having been very tired. Apparently K ran out of the house and halfway across the city as soon as the door opened to some sort of reality.
Since this trip, I have learned a lot. It was terrifying, but I certainly do not regret it and I certainly have a better understanding of how the Temple of the True Inner Light people believe in this substance as a manifestation of God. You have not truly lived until you have experience the peak of a Dipropyltryptamine trip. Whether you've taken 100mg of 4-aco-dmt, 1mg of LSD or 100mg of 2ce, absolutely nothing can prepare you for a DPT peak. There is no way to be ready, except to just do it. I encourage people to try this compound, but be very wary. Don't fuck around with DPT!
Damn Powerful Tryptamine.
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