Citation: Satyrcynic. "An Intense First Time: An Experience with Cannabis (edible) (exp93205)". Erowid.org. Oct 28, 2011. erowid.org/exp/93205
The following is my report on my first and so far only psychoactive experience. Living in a small Christian community in a rural area I found drugs to be oddly absent from my childhood surroundings, and I found most of the popular ones, marijuana included, rather uninteresting. I did (and still do) have a vested interest in tripping on LSD which struck me as more of a spiritual experience than a stupifying one.
Last month however, bored with life and presented with the offer of some weed enhanced goodies I surprised myself by deciding to accept and see what all of the fuss was about. For ten dollars I procured from my generous coworker one marijuana cookie and one piece of suspiciously green candy, gently hinted to contain more of the same. I would later deduce from the cooking methods involved that there was about a gram of pot in each (the dissolved THC from a gram in the candys case). Prior to the experience I had little to no preface for weed doses and consumption.
Home alone one afternoon (yes I did decide to have my first psychoactive experience entirely alone) I bit into the cookie. I had left the candy in the refrigerator intending to consume it at a future date. I had a five hour long progressive rock playlist (my favorites) playing on itunes and several small bags of granola accessible, anticipating the snackies. My mood was calm and optimistic for the most part, although I did have a slight twinge of nerves at trying something new and unknown.
The cookie was stale and furthermore didn't seem as if it had ever been particularly delicious. No taste of weed was noticeable. I listened to the music and surfed the Internet, casually wondering how long it might take to feel the effects.
Feeling absolutely nothing I tossed around and finally decided upon the idea of eating the candy as well. I knew the effects of the items combined would probably get rather strong, but I knew it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I ate the candy. The flavor was pure weed; grassy and bright, with a gentle pine note. I would eat candy of that flavor even if it contained no extracted THC. I knew by the strength of the taste that regardless of the questionable weed content of the cookie (I had tossed around the possibility that I had been scammed with a chips ahoy) this shit was legitimate. I went back to surfing the web and relaxing.
At this point I had consumed all of the granola. This was unrelated to the weed; I was simply snacky from boredom as I usually am. Wanting a soda I stood up for the first time in two hours and noticed a slight lightheadedness which was so far the only effect of the marijuana. I chugged some soda and then paced aimlessly around the kitchen, talking to myself to test the lucidity of my thought patterns for any influence. I noted that I felt stupid. I could create thoughts fairly well, but translating them into words was reliably a downgrade from the original idea. I thought 'hmm... I suppose that's what weed does. Its rather mild,' and then I realized that my thoughts sounded extraordinarily silly to myself. I caught myself laughing for no reason and decided to go lay down.
I had spent the entire hour since T+2:00 laughing on my bed. The bed was funny. The ceiling was funny. My thoughts were funny. Life was hilarious. I recognized the ridiculousness of this hallucinatory humor and found it to be funny. I noticed that I was thinking much faster than before, but I couldn't make any intellectual progress because a large portion of the increased thoughts were devoted to how funny everything was. At this point I had audiovisual effects, which I enjoyed. My laptop keyboard seemed to bend inwards like a reversed fisheye lens when I looked at it, and anything with details to look at such as my phone sort of danced and wavered as I tried to focus. I felt my thoughts becoming increasingly disconnected and a strange warmth on the back of my head. I wondered how much weed I had taken, really. My music was still playing but it felt very boring now. I could hear so many flaws in it, and it felt beneath me. I started laughing less and having more serious thoughts.
The humor was now gone from the experience. The visuals had filled my field of view and the entire world fisheyed gently; nothing profound but enough to make walking difficult. The warmth on the back of my head felt heavy and uncomfortable. It was almost painful. Thinking about that I began to wonder if I had taken too much. What would happen? Would I have a panic attack and wind up at the hospital? Would I be arrested afterwards for doing weed? Get fired from my job? Suddenly the experience was scary. Paranoia set in. The music was too dark; I hastily switched it off. My own thoughts were my enemies. I was scared, and the fear was growing. I felt my heart speed up and forced myself to walk around the kitchen to try and clear my head but my heartbeat kept rising. I realized that the fear of having a panic attack was about to give me one. I smiled at the irony and felt faintly better, but also subconsciously suspicious that my apartment may have been filled with ghosts or demons. I lay back down and started taking slow, deep breaths, reassuring myself. I reminded myself that I was master of my own mind and I could decide to be scared, or to relax. After a few minutes the panic had subsided.
I was no longer panicking but the experience still felt dark and no longer fun. I was starting to get tired but was afraid of falling asleep. I decided to wait an hour.
I checked the clock after an hour had passed. In reality it was five minutes and I was shocked by the time dilation. I decided to wait a real hour this time. I waited a length of time that felt like it would never end. I understood how time dilation could create Hell on hallucinogens; if I had been in a state of panic during this time dilation phase, I would have felt endlessly tormented. As it stood I was relaxed but still subtly fearful as I let the hour tick by.
Fuck! I actually started laughing again when I saw the clock. I gave up on counting time and decided to go to sleep, which felt like a great idea. I fell asleep in a pathetic, fearful state, wishing that these effects would just stop now.
I awoke to my girlfriend returning home from work. I felt good; great even. The effects were still there but they were in decline and the fear was completely absent. There was an unnatural calm to my inner self and I felt deeply at peace. We spent the evening talking about nothing and laughing at nothing and it was among the best nights we ever shared. I fell asleep again feeling content.
The entire next day I had a sort of glow. The world just felt inexplicably optimistic and kind. I loved the entire day for no realistic reason. Thinking back on my experience, discussing it with friends and reading other experiences I realized that despite the hour of terror I had had a much better first experience than many other people who started out on heavy doses, and overall I was thrilled to have had the experience. I never knew simple weed wielded quite that much power and I was excited to go back to that silly, fuzzy little world.
I have had many weed experiences since and loved them. I am still anxious to try something significantly stronger.
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