DOSE:			Noopept	(daily)
	20 mg	vaporized	DMT

BODY WEIGHT:

290 lb

Trip report

Background:
Male, 19 years old, fairly experienced with psychedelics, but quit after a string of very, very terrifying bad trips that resulted in HPPD. I was in sore need of some psychedelic therapy and decided to face my fears and jump back in headfirst

Medication: None, but I did have my daily dose of noopept in the morning

Amount: 25mg, although not all of it was able to be vaped. I started tripping balls halfway through the first exhale.

First I put on my soundscape channel on pandora. There was some very comforting piano music on. So I loaded up 25mg of self-extracted DMT into an old, now clean, meth pipe. Naturally I was a bit apprehensive, and unsure about the quality of my product (it was very yellow). I had some issues vaping the first 25mg and ended up burning all of it up. Lesson learned. I added another ~20mg and this time carefully vaped until a heavy white smoke began to be produced. I started to inhale. I was expecting it to be harsh, but it was really not bad at all. I took a decent sized hit (although there was still some left in the bowl). I had heard to hold it for 20-30 seconds. I think I made it about 5 seconds before I started tripping balls and exhaled at about 10 seconds. I managed to put down my pipe, and I laid back in my bed. Very quickly my entire body started to tingle. I had a brief moment of doubt because I remembered how my chest would tingle in past anxiety attacks. I closed my eyes because watching my ceiling turn green and liquidy was a little disconcerting. I let the tingling wash over me and not bother me.

I feel like the tingling part, with it's uncertainty, was signifying nonexistance; the void from which we all come. When someone is born, a lucky soul is picked from the void and given a corporeal shell. Once the tingling faded I was treated to absolutely lovely CEVs of simple geometric shapes (rectangles mostly) in varying shades of a silver that seemed to defy the laws of physics. The rectangles seemed to be in a wide open hallway, with lots of light and space. I believe this signified the newfound world around us when we are born; Everything is simple shapes and a lot of space. Throughout the entire trip I felt this overwhelming sense of love from some entity. I have a two ideas on what the entity was
1) The universe. The collective existence of every being
2) The souls of the departed; happy to love and nurture one while they live their physical life and move ever closer to the collective conscious

The imagery then shifted to more anatomical things; organs, guts, intestines. For a fleeting moment part of me was scared, but I quickly accepted what I was seeing as nonthreatening. The universe wanted to show me how amazing it was, that such an amazing thing as a person with a conscious could be made from such ordinary parts. The organs were a comforting and warm red color. I was struck by the realization that every person in the world was just doing what they have to. They are doing what they think will make them happy. That is all this entity wants, is for one to be happy. At this point I started to feel myself come down. Part of me was sad; I was not ready to leave this DMT world. I was not ready to leave this entity that loved me unconditionally, despite my flaws and perceived shortcomings. I was consoled by the fact that the entity felt like it reassured me that it would always be there for me, altered state of consciousness or not. It invited me to visit it again sometime. I think when I die I will go to this entity and become a part of it; infused with everlasting acceptance, love, and existence.

If dying is anything like being born, I am no longer afraid.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 93693
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Jan 10, 2019	Views: 766
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DMT (18) : General (1), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Not Applicable (38)