Citation: steveo. "Fear and Fear in the Land of Shadow People: An Experience with Bad/Suspect 'MDMA' (reported as 2C-B & Methamphetamine), Cannabis & Tobacco (exp93882)". Erowid.org. Mar 23, 2020. erowid.org/exp/93882
In the months prior to this experience I had been hard into MDMA, my brother moved to mtl and introduced me to the rave scene and I just loved it. I loved the music, the people, and most of all the MDMfuckingA. The night of the experience I had been on an M dry streak and when my friend came down from mtl with a bag of 'MDMA' I was ecstatic (haha get it? XD). Since he was an old friend (who probably owed me at least $200 at the time) he hooked me up with 9 125mg capsules for dirt cheap. I hooked my buddy up with 3 pills and had 6 for my own use. We popped 2 each and after an hour of nothing we concluded that it must be shitty mdma. He took his last one and I took 2 more. After 15 minutes I got so frustrated with being hooked up, once again, with shitty pills that I popped one more and smoked one out of my buddys bong... Bad idea.
Another 5 minutes went by and I wasnt fucked up, I had quit weed because of recent episodes of anxiety attack while high but I was craving some sort of buzz so I took a popper (that's smoking weed and tobac together out of a bong,thats a bitch on my lungs after 2 years :p). The high hit me and almost immediately I was overcome with anxiety. My body was tingling and my lungs felt heavy, my heartbeat became the focus of my attention.
I was overcome with anxiety. My body was tingling and my lungs felt heavy, my heartbeat became the focus of my attention.
It would beat shallowly, then pound hard, then stop. With each pound came a wave of terror. I knew I couldn't stay in my friends house with this sketchiness going through me so I decided to take a walk. I went outside and began walking quickly, turning down street after street in an unfamiliar neighborhood with no destination. I would see something out of the corner of my eye, conclude it was, say, a cat, I would look at it and see it was in fact a McDonalds bag, then as I looked away the cat would move and I would be force to double check and make sure it wasnt a cat. This happend constantly, a leaf was a dead bird, a car was a dog, a park bench was a homeless man. It was confusing and terrifying. Eventually I pass 2 kids and I was certain they wanted to jump me. My energy levels were high and I was ready for a fight but my anxiety made me turn the next corner and start walking even faster.
Around this time is when I started hearing footsteps following me. I would stop walking to verify that in fact they were my own footsteps. Once I got to walking again I was convinced that the steps were coming from behind me. So I started walking even faster. Halfway across town I saw the friend who sold me the pills, I called out to him but as I got closer he disappeared. My heart pounded. That was the first of the shadow people. Like that childhood canada day (4th of July) when I used to spell out my name with a sparkler, now imagine a thousands sparklers off in the distance jittering and zipping around so that they create a translucent jittery figure, the figure does not stay still but appears to dance about. Now imagine these sparklers did not give off a bright glowing light at all but instead a faint shadow so that the figure is faint but still clearly there.
The more I would focus on it the more it blurred and danced. These shadow people infiltrated the entire town just to watch me trip the fuck out. There were groups of shadow people on front lawns, talking. I couldn't make out what they were saying but I could definitely hear them. Every time I saw one my heart pounded in terror and wouldnt calm until I was convinced that this new one wasn't real either. (Just thinking about it is giving me the creeps, my computer just beeped and I just about had a heart attack :S) I eventually ended up by the river where I sat on a picnic table and tried to text my brother in mtl to ask about the pills. The phone was blurry and all my words and sentences came out as garbled gibberish. I sent the texts anyway and when he professed his concern I tried to use the voice recognition feature of my phone to say I was alright. The words coming out of my mouth started to scare me, what if the shadow people hear? What if they come over here? I turned off the phone and sat there terrified. I turned my head and realized there was a man sitting beside me. My heart slammed against my ribcage and a shot of adrenaline ran through me. I looked him in the face and saw his pain, I felt a kind of scared pity and concluded he was a lonely homeless man all in the instant before he disappeared. My depth perception returned to normal and the homeless shadow became a picnic table once more.
In the distance there was another shadow person who might have been a tree or a bench, but when I looked he was a person. The closer I looked the more he would flail his shadow arms. After giving up on convincing myself that he wasn't real I decided that the Docksyde was his territory and I walked away. While walking away I saw a blur in the distance that I was walking towards, when I got close the blur jumped at me like a german shepard and I flinch away only to realized there was nothing there. I found another calm spot by the water where I saw another shadow beast climb out of the water, I was still filled with panic but this time I did not flinch away but look on with a faint intrigue.
After sitting by the water and sobering considerably I decided to walk back to my buddys but the footsteps were still following me and the faintest noise still caused my heart to jump. When I arrived back at the house I was still far to jumpy to go to bed so I walked all the way back to the docksyde to discover that the shadow person had faded away. By this time I was completely exhausted and the sun was coming up so I made my final journey back to my friend's house where I slept for a few hours. I woke up jumpy and on edge but yet relieved to be alive and sane once again. The anxiety eventually faded and I am happy to say I can today smoke a bowl without experiencing any :)
The next day my brother told me that the real contents of the capsules were speed and 2C-B. The kid who sold me it was given it to sell by a friend of my brothers who wanted to make some money even though he had no MDMA, so he made a meth/2C concoction to give to the middleman to sell as M. The middleman was unaware of what he was selling.
The middleman was unaware of what he was selling.
Though this night was horrifying it was still an experience that will always intrigue me. If I was offered the same drug with a good friend who would do it with me I think its possible that I might accept. Anyways I enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoyed reading it! Every line is true even though none of it is real o_O Wish me luck with the PTSD! Jk. Hopefully
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