Citation: Captain Scoobin. "Smoke, Muppets, and the Salvia People: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (exp939)". Erowid.org. Jan 15, 2001. erowid.org/exp/939
Two days ago I received 1/4 ounce of Sierra Mazatec leaves and 1 gram of 15mg/1g fortified leaf that I had ordered from Daniel Siebert's internet store. I had read all of the information that I could find about Salvia Divinorum, but was still somewhat skeptical about its effects.
I had already tried smoking some Salvia Splendens and got a very slight 'stoned' feeling followed by aches throughout my entire body, like I was coming down with the flu. It wasn't enjoyable at all, and the dried Salvia D. leaves seemed to have the same look and smell to them which my mind associated with the Salvia Splendens. Well, I was indubitably wrong.
I was overly eager to try the herb after waiting about a week longer than expected to receive the shipment (thanks to our United States Postal Service), so I loaded up my water pipe with a very small amount (half of a small bowl) of the regular old leaves, stepped outside and took two hits, holding them in for 30 seconds each.
As soon as I was done, I figured I was just wasting time because I didn't smoke nearly enough to do anything - and then I suddenly felt mildly intoxicated, like my brain was skipping here and there and I couldn't quite walk straight. It passed in a few minutes, but I immediately felt the power of this stuff...or so I thought.
I did the same thing a few more times over that day and the next, using slightly more each time. The only difference was that I decided against going outside just in case I happened to wander into the road, so I sat on my bed and turned off all the lights except for a small lamp. Each time I got this very strange buzz, and the alarm clock tick that I used to time my hits would start echoing in my head, like little 'people' snickering, mocking me.
It got my interest enough to venture out with the fortified leaf. I had divided the gram into 20 equal parts and separated them by gelcaps. I filled the bowlpiece up with the plain leaves and then emptied out one gelcap onto the top. This time, as I was holding my second hit in, the buzz started coming on strong and I felt like I was entering into another 'world' but was still very conscious of what I was doing. As I was counting to 30, I suddenly forgot why I was holding my breath and felt that I could get away with exhaling early and nobody would know the difference. But then I remembered that 'they' told me to hold my breath (I associated 'they' with my left side) and I couldn't get away with cheating (my devious will was my right side). This all happened over about 5 seconds. After exhaling, I seemed to be in a familiar place and the snickering I heard was the voices of the 'Salvia people,' as my mind deemed fit to call them. After about 30 seconds, I felt this current of some sort trying to pull me to the right. It was like the right side of my body, especially my face, was being sucked by a huge vacuum or something. Very weird, but all this weirdness passed in about 5 minutes.
My buzz lasted for another 15 minutes or so, but it was one of those 'duhhhh' buzzes that makes you feel worn down while you are in awe of what just happened.
I was captivated now, and figured I had this thing under wraps - who needs a sitter?, this stuff is not that bad.... So, I doubled the amount of fortified leaf in the bowl piece and filled the rest up with plain leaf. I took the first hit and started to enter Salvia land. I then took the second hit and was at about 20 seconds when...BLAM! I blanked out mometarily and then re-emerged in another reality. It was like being thrown into the world at its present state without knowing a damned thing about anything at all.
Nothing made any sense and I was desperately trying to figure out *what* I was, *where* I was, and how I got there. I was still holding my water pipe (this little miniature bong with an angled neck) and saw smoke coming out of it. Suddenly I WAS the smoke and I saw myself sitting there on the bed as I floated above it. I was not supposed to be here - I was alone, a disoriented fragment of the universe, somehow separated from existence.
Then I started piecing things together - I still didn't remember smoking Salvia, even with the pipe still in my hand. I looked at it and I remember talking. I said, 'Oh, no.... Oh no...,' and started panicking. It was like this had happened many times before, and I started crawling around on the bed, looking at this bong which somehow was associated with a 'Y' and those alien muppets with the honking noses that I used to see on Sesame Street *many* years ago.
I had somehow done something very bad - I had escaped from this bong as smoke, and I was not supposed to be out. 'They' were going to find out and I would be in trouble. Simultaneously, I seemed to live in that alien muppet world and I had done this routine thing with the bong that everyone did, but that I felt embarrassed about. I didn't know exactly what it was, though, just that it was something that was done often but had a shameful connotation. I just knew I was going to be found out and I started hiding all of the paraphernalia in my room, like I was in trouble with the cops. I then came to the disheartening realization that, as another Salvia tripper put it, 'reality is not real. The universe is some fucked up game that these beings play by manipulating me and screwing with my mind.' (Not quoted exactly, but close enough.) I was just a small part of this entire existence, this REAL reality that was not enjoyable at all. Almost
like the grim reality of the world in the movie 'The Matrix,' but nothing like the actual scenario of the movie. It was on a metaphysical level - I seemed to understand existence as a part of space and time.
I was terrified, and began to want to get out of this horrible world I was in. Probably about five minutes had passed by now. I started having flashes of reality come back to me, like I was skipping in and out of bizzaro land, and I remembered that I had smoked Salvia now. I told myself that it'll only be a few more minutes and things will be ok again. And by then, the trip started fading away, and I knew where I was once more.
'THANK GOD THAT SHIT ONLY LASTS FOR A SHORT TIME!!!' I exclaimed under my breath as things felt a little better. I was still VERY shaken up and was scared to even set foot on my floor. I covered myself almost entirely with blankets like a little kid scared of the dark. The whole thing was like one of those terrible nightmares that you wake up in the middle of the night from, sweating and convincing yourself that it was just a dream. You're not sure what it was about exactly, but it was something very terrible and was so real that your perception of life is still distorted even when you completely wake up. My buzz carried on as I drifted off to sleep, still bundled in my blankets. I was terrified, like I used to be when I was a little kid after watching a frightening movie or thinking there was a ghost in my room. I haven't been scared like that in nearly as long as I can remember.
So in conclusion, I think I'll treat this stuff with a little more respect next time. Once you cross that point, your reality gets screwed all to hell and everything you know is forgotten. I'll definitely try it again, though, but never in such a whimsical manner, and probably with a good bit less of the green stuff (Salvia, that is).
-The Captain (Scoobin)
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