DOSE: T+ 0:00	1 hit	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)
T+ 0:20	1 hit	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

At 15 I had been put on medications for bipolar disorder against my will because my father had it, I experienced some depressions, but I did not think I was actually bipolar, I never experienced mania and I never really felt like I had a mental disorder. I was on and off of drugs and wasn't really affected by them (probably bc I was an all-county track athlete in high school). Then after a severe depression spring freshman year of college that had me on the brink of suicide I came home and started feeling good again, it was summer and I could make up from my poor performance in the next semester. Things were looking up, I had a good job, my life was under control again. There wasn't a better time to try LSD.

I was at my friend's house and I took 1 blotter at 5:15 and the second at 5:35, a big mistake but I didn't realize that at the time. At 6:15 I felt the onset of the acid, I felt weird and then the flowers on the table I was sitting at started growing. I told my friend what was happening and asked if this was it and he said not even close, just wait until you peak. Then I put on Dark Side of the Moon on headphones. As Speak to Me/Breathe came on the first wave really hit. I looked at my Zune and the prism started rotating and the light beams started moving up and down. At the time, I felt like this was the beginning of the greatest experience of my life. Then everything started “swimming” and I looked at a clock in the room and it started to contort and melt in on itself. I was elated, it was everything I ever dreamed of and so much more. I decided to go outside and smoke some pot, I wanted to experience nature. Walking around outside, I tripped balls, everything was doing everything and I couldn't get enough. I couldn't stop thinking: Life is where it's at and that my mind was beautiful. Why hadn't everyone done this? Why is this illegal? That is all I could think about.

The rest of the visuals weren't important, just same old weird acid things, that weird pattern on everything, the Camel walking across the desert on my pack of cigarettes, etc. What is important is during the peaks, I had 2 because I was an idiot and took the blotter at separate times, I had a life (and brain chemistry) altering experience. It was during this time I was in a small room, incapacitated on the couch, waiting for the trip to be over, stuck in a thought loop about the moment is all experience, everything is one, all that hippy shit. My thoughts raced and I couldn't function, they went too fast and I realized that my brain chemistry could not handle this, I must be bipolar and this was a terrible idea. When I came down from the acid, I changed my mind, I felt like it was the greatest experience of my life. I wanted everyone to drop. I felt like I was never more alive. My thoughts moved a million miles per second, but that was because I was a genius. I was on a different level than the rest of the world. I was a genius, an artist, a innovator. I was invincible.

Reality check. I was manic. I ended up taking 14 more tabs during 5 trips that summer. One of those times was 3 tabs at work and I'm a lifeguard. The more acid I took, the faster my thoughts were and the more I left the planet, the more manic I got. It took until I could barely function before I went to a psychiatrist and started getting treated for bipolar disorder.

Bottom line: The amount of acid I took really exacerbated my bipolar disorder.

Just to be clear, LSD did not give me bipolar disorder, that does not happen, I was already genetically predisposed.

This does not mean I regret dropping acid, in fact I regard it as one of the most important experiences of my life. I am and always will be a strong advocate of the psychedelic experience.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 94661
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Jun 30, 2020	Views: 1,032
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LSD (2) : First Times (2), Retrospective / Summary (11), Glowing Experiences (4), Depression (15), Health Problems (27), Small Group (2-9) (17)