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Cosmic Torture
DMT
by Candyflip Saint123
Citation:   Candyflip Saint123. "Cosmic Torture: An Experience with DMT (exp94673)". Erowid.org. Jun 23, 2021. erowid.org/exp/94673

 
DOSE:
120 mg smoked DMT

BODY WEIGHT: 60 kg


[Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]

Cosmic torture - DMT
Cosmic torture is written in order to have something and look back on something and remember, something to learn from ...

Who: Saint123
Location: At home with me
Setting: Underestimated.
Dose: 120mg dmt = N,N-Dimethyltryptamine (DMT)

I try and make an attempt to describe it by far the craziest, scariest and most rewarding DMT trips I've ever had. (At least for now). It may not be possible and render it important, but I still feel I have to share it with anyone, it would be myself for having something to read back on later in time, or if it's you who might learn something out of it. I dont know.

I sit there on the edge of my bed. Have a duvet behind me, it is possible and just sit back and I will be all over the bed.
I can just say I'm very glad I had a bed nearby, if not - No, it would go wrong.
My heart pounded before I start and pull in, something tells me that there might be a bit large dose. I have nothing negative, and think 'oh' and drive on.
Generally, double-check to myself before I take something and did it as this time too. Is it like that I'm skeptical about it, I choose rather to let the weather.

I pull all the white plastic-smelling smoke into. I do not think I spent more than a breath, my lungs are said qualified as leather lungs so this is good. At the beginning of my 'career with DMT' it was very common and coughing out the smoke, but after being turned to this is that as I said pretty good.
Furthermore, it is also something about the way you vaporizer it, the better - the easier to pull down .. at least that way I have experienced it.

I have time do not really react much, I exhale the smoke in that it begins and shake in the body. While I blow out I lie flat (sitting on the edge when I pulled in).

I sent through something, the something of something, something inside and outside simultaneously. The room I was in the extract and can not really qualify as what we usually describe as a room. Maybe it was not a room but a tunnel, maybe it was not a tunnel, but a different universe, whatever it was relatively unimportant.

The colors went inside each other like you never could imagine without actually having been there. It dominated in blue, red and yellow, this time as so many other times when I have smoked this magic ingredient as well.
All was quiet in this room, and was really just more and more quiet.

If I explain it in any way I want you to imagine a scale from 0 to 10 Where 10 is the loudest sound that exists and 0 the quietest you arrive. When I was in this room, the sound was so quiet that it blew up this skala'en, the sound was -10 which is the quietest of the quietest in this reality.

The time perspective was completely destroyed during the trip, I could never imagined that the whole thing would only last 10-15 minutes when it actually feels like an eternity where I am. The colors began to fight each other, forming different shapes or what I might want to associate with self-transforming elves. They, or the åssen to define them is explained quite well by himself Terence McKenna - I also choose to use his words as I do not have described it with my own.
(Read here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_elf)

There were two of them. Both irritated at me, both had something to view, and both had absolutely nothing to teach me. It started when they changed the colors faster than what I normally see for me is most rapid. They had no particular facial expressions, and it was really quite difficult to look for as they turned his face the other way every time I tried.
It seemed also that the more I watched, the more was I had to pay for it.

Machine elves or for that matter DMT entity also made it difficult for me to actually know if there was no face on them, since in this world is not certain that you need some head to actually exist. By all means it could just be the color of life itself, as in all eternity was selvforandrende.

It got to the point where I thought, hell, I have taken too much.
It is usually not easy for me and being present in mind, but in 2 seconds, I thought that thought before everything else was too much for me.
I could not give up as I normally do when I go 'in the' on dmt, when I actually had to give up very many times this time. It was exhausting in the extreme and at one point I thought - Am I almost done?
I breathe now no longer, the thought was that I actually managed to give up all control and then after that happened so the worst case that could see. I think actually that I could have imagined anything worse either, since some of it has never been in my mind.

My body was set on fire by cosmic chaos, all colors, energies, elves, things, entities or whatever flew through my body, over and over again. There was a burning light ball inside the body that went exactly where it knew I would get the most pain. First the head, then the feet, so the stomach, then in the back, and further tortured this burning thing myself while these two elves stood there and 'walked' from each side of my face. Feet it's like it obviously was not, but of words to be able to describe what I choose still use the body part that most natural explanation.
They stepped on me in what I call the eternity of this universe, while it burns and I can hear the sounds of things that are, and 'laugh'.
They communicate in a way that you usually do not associate with communication, or perhaps - Whatever thoughts they have about me, transfer them to my mind, what they say is that I have crossed a boundary that is large, and therefore I must understand that this is not something you just do. They tried other words and say that this dose was poorly planned and therefore you shall have to pay for everything bad you've done to others as a punishment for your thoughts about coming here.

I can 'see' to me that the common reality that we all normally live in consists of a lot of things, and that thoughts are actually placed somewhere for a purpose. What I really try and say is that the more karma you have, the greater the likelihood of a better turn this 'Cosmic' world dmt takes you. Have you collected a lot of bad karma you get this printed in all sorts of forms when you get 'there'. Furthermore, I believe that all the negative thoughts people may have about you, you will be punished with, the reason is good NOK for this negative thought to another man.

In this entity stood and stepped on me, I saw people without faces, of course, not with a normal body shape, but fraktalt depicted were, and consisting of many colors. They cried, they screamed, they laughed, but all in a very 'evil' way. Not bad that they wanted me to die, but evil in the sense that they liked that I was lying there in a 'fetal position' and was spat on.
While all this was going on, I tore my hair.
I tore myself not really in your hair, I was perhaps barely touched any of my hair, but it felt like.

Everything described so far is with the eyes closed, think at least that.
When I opened my eyes fell a part of my eyes into my body. I was not allowed and open your eyes yet, and even if I wanted to prove that I looked exactly the same, only even more blurred. Maybe there were some differences, but with eyes closed for a much greater influence to actually be in another universe, but with eyes open, I felt a sense I split between reality and this reality.

A & B drive and made a lot of noise at a point now, I do not know if it could be because I might be extended into the Trip and most likely only had more time at the moment, I heard the least sound from them. It was not like they were talking, but every movement irritated me really just. I tried for 10 seconds and get to say something but it did not ...

I was pulled back again and this time it was just dark. It was so dark that I did not exist there anymore. I died again, perhaps for 1000 started on this trip. I forgot to mention it above: Every time I was stepped on by these entities or machine elves I experienced a new ego death ... I was stepped on in a hurry you can imagine, faster than anything, a thousand million times, and not until I was back to the real world, I realized that I was really again, I survived.

After the recent death, I opened my eyes. A part of my consciousness was back. It felt during the trip as if something held back part of it, so that it could be possible for me to run away. I tried a few times, but certainly to no avail. You have no choice when facing something that is way bigger than you, and who can say destroy, fuck or do like it, it .. will be with you.

The reality is still not the same, everything was in flux in space. Things had a different depth to it, and if I could explain it in any way, then I would use the word overlay, the overlay, the overlay, where you can see a little of each layer is. All the same color, to so transform itself as it wants.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the last 2-3 minutes of the round. Glad to be back.

It is most likely a part that is forgotten, too far away, and some things that are completely inexplicable, thus impossible to describe as I have not been written down. I have included what I can remember and I'm a day to remember anything more that I feel is important I'll try and explain this.

Thoughts before tripping: I thought I would be invincible, that I can handle a lot, that the dmt when longer than that, it was fitting,

Thoughts on trips, I'll NOK to take a little break from this drug for a while. Luckily, I have access to it anytime, so see no reason to be hurried.
I'll NOK to plan setting far more next time and maybe I do not try such a large dose of a very very long time when it was actually too much of the insane to me.
Everyone has their limits, and today I think I hit the middle of the target when it comes to that. I understand that I should not underestimate this material in any way, although I Actually had mega respect for this drug before I took it today, Apparently not NOK - when I have more respect for it now.


Thoughts during trips: Can not give up, feelings of hatred for what I have done a negatively to others, feelings of joy when in fact I feel I learn something from what I know, that change might be the time, I'm not ready, I is clear, it burns, it hurts not very clear for people who have experienced similar pain (The pain was neither mentally or physically) it was something in between.

Afterword: Never, under shoals DMT and never sell dmt for then the elves and take you

Exp Year: 2012ExpID: 94673
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 21 
Published: Jun 23, 2021Views: 220
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DMT (18) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Entities / Beings (37), Alone (16)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


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