DOSE:	3.5 hits	smoked	DMT
	3.5 hits	smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

First-Time Journey

I packed my trusty bubbler with some bits of cannabis and DMT sprinkled plentifully on top. After I took two deep hits, I put my bubbler down and began staring around me in wonder at the patterns forming. It felt so lovely and enticing, and the things I was seeing made me hunger for more. I loved the feeling I was getting. However, what I didn’t understand was why I didn’t soon afterward pass out and enter a dream state, like I thought was supposed to happen after having done some research on this. Anyways, I stayed awake in awe watching everything transmorph and come alive. Patterns, images, audio bits, and my inner monologue all became intensified (I have a chaotic and disorganized mind, unfortunately).

Time ceased to exist, as I know it doesn’t truly exist. It felt uncomfortable but right that everything tying me to reality would literally melt away and reveal the spiritual truth to our surroundings. What soon came to pass was out of my intelligence. I suddenly felt possessed, fluid-like. I sat up in my bed quite quickly and effortlessly, and I packed more cannabis and DMT on top. It was too perfect to be my typical behavior, because I usually am clumsy and shaky due to my anxiety. I smoked 1 more hit and a tiny half of a full hit. I lied back down and started going nuts. I was over-thinking inside my head, saying too many things, becoming overwhelmed at all the familiar images that I try to drown deep inside my imagination on a regular basis. They bring me fear, my overactive imagination, and all my skeletons were thrown out of the closet so to speak. DMT made me face all the things I try to distract myself from.

Every minute felt like eternity. I had to remind myself constantly that it will be over soon. I would go through different waves of euphoria and terror. When I was feeling euphoria, I did not feel like myself but rather like a loving spirit was helping me calm down and was controlling me to help me. I would tell myself in a different voice that I would be just fine, that I’m not going to be like this forever, to remember there is reality, and it will be over soon. I had such a terrifying fear that it would never be over. Then it slowly started getting worse, intensifying, the patterns I was seeing were changing into hate...as if Hate, Rage, and Fear had their own patterns...I can’t explain it too well but it felt like a geometric dark dragon was in the room, flying around in the air so fast that its speed could not be defined, and it was challenging me. I felt it happy that it could toy with me.

I sensed that something was wrong and I forced myself to get up again and try to pack more cannabis to calm down and take charge of the journey I was on. But I felt the dragon inside my head, laughing, making me snarl as if it had control of me. It made the cannabis in my hands look like millions of ants and as if the DMT was everywhere on the bud, in my bubbler, all over my dresser, all over me and the bed, and it turned into millions of little insects of fear, and I couldn’t do anything about it. It was all so much. But I reminded myself I’m in control, that nothing can harm me, I’m protected. I felt like I was facing the end of everything, a huge dark black hole that had no comfort and no ‘cancel’ button. There was no going back. I steeled myself and I felt the loving spirit return and take over, calming me down, telling me it will be fine. I took my phone and stared at it until I calmed down. I was saying so many beautiful things that I could not record. I should have. I was speaking to the world about how I will dedicate my energy and life to helping my brothers and sisters of this Earth. I was saying things about the origins of my soul and who I truly Am.

5 minutes later it was all over. But coming down was beautiful. I appreciated the experience, however horrifying it became. I felt as if I was being challenged to see if I am ready for these journeys. I think I’m not completely ready yet, but I have come to deeply respect the comforts of this physical realm as well as the mystery of the spiritual realm. DMT is not to be toyed with by any means. I would not do this if I had even the slightest of doubts.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 94680
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Apr 14, 2017	Views: 1,619
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
DMT (18) : First Times (2), Alone (16)