DOSE:	repeated	oral	MDMA	(powder / crystals)
		oral	Alcohol

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

I was very nervous the first time I took molly because I had never before done any illegal drug besides marijuana. Molly, however, worried me much more than pot because pot doesn’t carry the stigma that other illicit drugs do. How I saw it was there was alcohol, then pot, then the darker, cloudy veil that encompasses all the other drugs. Molly (pure ecstasy) was one of the naughty substances from that shrouded other realm of drugs.

I did some research [online] and also tried to get the lowdown from my boyfriend before partaking. It eased my mind a bit when I didn’t see any reports of horrible irreversible side effects or intense physical dependencies. I also learned that the first few times are the best, so I intended on getting my worth out of it if I wasn’t ever going to feel the intense sensations again. All my boyfriend had to say about it was that it made you feel “really REALLY good.” How could I pass it up?

I took my first dabs in the car on the way to our friend’s house out of town. After much cajoling, I stuck my finger into the bag and cautiously slid my powder-covered finger into my mouth. The taste was awful. I’m not sure that there are many worse tasting things you can put in your mouth, but I cringed, sucked it up, and did a few more dabs. I prayed for that chemical aftertaste to wash away as I drenched my mouth in water the rest of the car ride there.

It took about an hour to kick in. From about a half hour until then I was wondering what was going on. I anticipated the rush of adrenaline and euphoria and expected tightness in my jaw and the accompanying change in perception, but it didn’t come for the next half hour until we all had already arrived and spent some time at the club we planned on going to.

When we first got there, the club looked was alive with strobe lights and music, and a lot of people were dancing, so we joined in. I felt slightly uncomfortable, though, because I hadn’t had any alcohol (for fear of dehydration and clouding the effects) and the molly hadn’t kicked in yet. Because I was a little worried about what was to come and because I was completely sober, we headed to the bar for some drinks. We sat down and sipped them in the VIP section. This was maybe 50 minutes into my first dab.

When we had a couple drinks in us and still couldn’t feel the effects of the molly, my boyfriend suggested going back out to the car and taking some more dabs, to which I agreed.

In the car we took a couple more dabs, and only a few minutes later, it hit us. The best way to describe it was an awakening. My mind woke up to the brightness of the streetlights, which suddenly filled the car. My whole being was illuminated with an overall sense of wonder and well-being. I sat and took notice of the effects and then said aloud “I feel really GOOD.” Then I looked to my boyfriend and he smiled wide-eyed and said “I feel REALLY good.” At that moment I was filled with excitement. I reached over at my boyfriend, touched his arm, and said “you feel GOOD,” to which he replied, “you feel REALLY good.” We went on like that, saying how good we felt and touching each other for a few minutes.

Then my boyfriend said it was time to go back, but I said No, I wanted to stay a little longer. I was just really enjoying the onset of the effects. We continued feeling each other’s arms, legs, faces, and whatnot, then made out intensely for a while, and then I agreed to go back in.

When I got out of the car, the feeling could best be described as “WHOA.” Everything seemed unreal and yet I was so overjoyed. The cold weather that was causing us the run and shiver back to the car barely even affected us on the way back, even without the coats that we checked in the club. We smiled as we strolled in and talked about how we felt bad for girls in their scanty attire who were running by to escape the cold. My boyfriend said he felt like Jesus. He had a god-like experience of power.

In the club we rejoined our friends in the VIP section, but they were doing their own thing for the most part, so I sat close to my boyfriend and enjoyed his company. I felt an incredibly strong attachment to him, like we had this invisible bond between us that at the moment was plainly apparent to the both of us. We ended up getting into a deep discussion and really disclosing our feeling towards each other. It flowed so easily, and was surprising considering my boyfriend isn’t too open with his feelings. I experienced a true sense of ecstasy where I felt completely content where I was, who I was with, and I was passionate about it. I was screaming with joy inside. We didn’t even get up and dance again, we didn’t have to because we were just so comfortable where we were in our little corner of the club. My boyfriend said he felt like he owned the club, and pointed out employees deciding who he was going to fire or keep.

When we left the club, we all decided to get some fast food. By that point, the physical effects had really kicked in. My boyfriend was clenching his jaw and scraping his teeth, and I could not stop licking my lips. It must have been an interesting sight to people in the car next to us, because all they could see in the passenger seat was me mechanically rocking back and forth licking my lips and rubbing my thighs. All I knew was that it felt good and I didn’t plan on stopping.

It was pretty late when we got back to the apartment. We were still rolling, but it was a more relaxed, cloudy feeling. We all laid down on the couches in the living room, but the funny thing was we could not sleep despite how late it was. So for hours we laid there cuddling and wishing our friend would take a hint and let us have a little alone time. He didn’t, so we planned another molly adventure where we would be able to have sex while rolling. We finally fell asleep.

I felt really good in the morning. It was the common sensation of recalling a successful night mixed with a small added feeling of inner peace. I could describe as an inner glow, which is why it makes sense to be called an afterglow. I was also relieved to know I didn’t experience any negative effects on my first real hard drug adventure. My boyfriend, however, felt mostly really tired. It gradually wore off as we went about our day in the city. I got worried at one point and hoped my life wouldn’t forever seem dull and pathetic compared to that one night. At the time, I considered it the best night of my life, so I was unsure what it would be like knowing I may never again reach that point of ecstasy. That thought soon left me and we enjoyed the rest of our day.

It wasn’t until the next day that I started feeling really bad. I had that worry again, and I went into a state of depression where nothing really felt good. It was worse because I was convinced that that was how I would feel forever. I didn’t do much but lie around and cry sometimes. I went on like that for about four days. Thankfully, my sadness wore off, and I went back to my life as usual. I can’t say my emotional state is any different now than it was before I took molly. But the depression I experienced was definitely a scare. My boyfriend was never sad, just tired.

Overall, I think that taking molly was a worthwhile experience. Even though it took a while for me to feel the effects, I’m glad that I took it at two different times so that I was sure I wasn’t doing too much at once. I really felt a high and a closeness with my boyfriend that could not be replicated. I don’t intend on doing it more than a few times in my life, because the high will never be the same and I’m concerned about the after-effects. But I definitely won’t forget the amazing experience.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 94975
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 29, 2024	Views: 34
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MDMA (3) : Glowing Experiences (4), Hangover / Days After (46), First Times (2), Club / Bar (25)