Citation: Syzygy. "The World Isn't Real: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10x extract) (exp95127)". Erowid.org. Jun 22, 2018. erowid.org/exp/95127
I had just returned home from a half year trip across the country and back, failing in my quest to find some meaning or purpose in life. I had no real drug experiences, except for a Clinton-esque moment my senior year of high school when I first smoked weed but didn't inhale. I hadn't even had a beer and I was 19. Anyways, a few days after returning home, I found myself bored and depressed, when a word magically appeared in my head: 'Salvia.'
I first heard about salvia from one of my roommates during my first semester of college. He hadn't tried it himself, but he knew someone who had and they said their shoe laces exploded upon looking at them. I left college after that semester to embark on my soul searching adventure. It wasn't until I returned home, existentially unfulfilled, that my attitude towards drugs had changed unknowingly (I was previously anti-drugs). Apparently I wasn't going to leave any stone unturned in my search for meaning.
Apparently I wasn't going to leave any stone unturned in my search for meaning.
So 'salvia' just appeared in my mind (probably because it was legal at the time, if it's legal it can't be bad for you, right?) and I started researching it intensely. I found some online and fast forward a few days it was in my mailbox. I was so excited, I couldn't wait to try it. I was pumping with adrenaline and anxiety at the same time. My mom left the house and wasn't going to be back for about at hour, leaving me just enough time to give it a try, since a salvia trips only last 5-10 minutes (first mistake). The salvia I ordered was an extract (second mistake), 10X, but I had nothing to smoke it out of. So, I quickly made a bong as soon as she left out of a two-liter bottle, a socket, and some tin foil (third mistake).
With my MacGuyvered bong in hand, I holed up in my room by myself, put Radiohead's In Rainbows album on the record player (fourth mistake), and cracked the window open so I could blow the smoke outside. So I sit on the floor with my back against my bed frame, next to my window, and begin to take a long, slow hit, trying my hardest not to cough and hold it in my lungs. About three seconds later, I black out. I don't remember exhaling.
As soon I unknowingly black out, everything becomes two dimensional. I can tell I'm in my room, but it seems as if I'm in a comic book (I've never even read one). Everything is high contrast. Lots of reds, pinks, yellows, oranges, blacks and whites. The lines are so defined and sharp. Everything is square or boxy. Nothing is really actually happening tho, but it seems like an eternity has gone by. Then suddenly my mind or soul escapes my body, and I'm now looking down at myself lying on my bed.
So now I'm just this bodiless, invisible entity floating in the middle of my room, while Thom Yorke's fucking strange whiny voice is absolutely deafening and freaking me the fuck out because I can't hear my own thoughts. I feel like everything is spinning even tho it is stationary. At this point the pages of this comic book dream world start turning. Slowly at first, then faster and faster right before my invisible eyes. Whatever 'I' am is starting to feel more afraid with every turn of the page.
Finally, the last page turns and everything goes black. Thom Yorke's insufferable voice is gone and I can finally focus, yet there are no thoughts in whatever is left of my mind. 'I' am just existing or not existing. Then, crystal clear, I hear 'the world isn't real.' Whatever or whomever is saying this just keeps repeating it. I hear so clearly and it definitely isn't my own voice. At this point, whatever is left of 'me' is terrified. I think I've died, never to see my family or friends ever again. I don't even kno who they or I am but I still miss them terribly. Luckily, I come to right after these feelings of panic.
My body and clothes were soaked in sweat. Same with the bottom sheet on my bed. My left arm had a burning red spot from where I think the socket/bowl fell on to it after I blacked out.
My left arm had a burning red spot from where I think the socket/bowl fell on to it after I blacked out.
The two-liter bong still had smoke in the chamber and is sideways on the floor (I'm lucky no burning embers caught the carpet on fire). I apparently had gotten up in the middle of the trip and threw my record player on the floor because that's where it was and the speakers were playing that spinning static sound. I obviously had laid down on my bed after this since that is where I woke up, but I don't recall doing this.
After realizing I was not dead, I was thankful and somewhat happy, but still shitting my pants about what just happened. I looked at the clock and only eleven minutes had gone by. I swear it was a hundred years. As soon I can muster the energy to get out of bed, I do and down a glass of water. Then I immediately flushed the rest of the salvia down the toilet, disposed of the bong, febreezed my room, and took a long cold shower before my mom came home. I really didn't want to sleep that night.
My salvia trip was quite the first experience with any drug. It shook me for a week or two. Luckily the burn mark didn't scar. I still didn't find any lasting meaning or purpose. If anything, it pulled the curtain back and made everything more meaningless. Three and half years later, I still haven't tempted salvia again. I now enjoy weed and the many forms of alcohol. I'm still very interested in exploring drugs but have learned the hard way that they need to be respected. I will venture back into psychedelics someday, but not with salvia. I will wait until I have more experience before I try again.
So to wrap things up, set and setting are very important. Have a sitter. Be safe. Be smart. Start with low dosages/extracts. Always in moderation.
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