DOSE: T+ 0:00	160 mg	oral	MDMA	(powder / crystals)
T+ 2:25	180 mg	oral	MDMA	(powder / crystals)
T+ 0:00	repeated	oral	MDMA
T+ 0:00		smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes

BODY WEIGHT:

15 st

• Abstinence from MDMA crystal previously---8 days.

• `Straight' (anti-recreational drug taking) housemates, unfortunately.

• T+00:00---160 mg parachute (I am fairly tall and slightly chubby).

• I was attempting to drink a cup-of-soup ('reconstituted dried drink') quickly before the effects kick in (especially the pupil dilation).

• 1 cigarette was smoked.

• Came back in and drank/scooped the soup.

• I was talking to my housemate about various aspects of the househunting fiasco we were recently going through.

• Whilst doing this, I started to feel as if I was about to start shivering and chattering my teeth with swirling carpets (the hard come-up). There were some spinal rushes and generally a warm feeling throughout my body.

• I made a swift exit, hurrying the conversation, saying that I was "knackered'' (tired) but was going to have a shower before bed.

• The shower felt amazing. The mentholated element of the shower gel tingled all over, so I left it there as long as possible before washing off. It was quite overwhelming, akin to a full-body orgasm---I managed to stifle any verbal signals to that effect.

• T+01:25---weighed out a booster dose even though I was high as a kite.

• I felt the desire to be naked, and stripped off accordingly---this I can only explain as I was comfortable with myself, and enjoyed the natural feeling of not covering up my natural form. When I looked down ... Wow ... I discovered that yes, one's penis does shrink substantially on this drug.

• Loosely clothed myself (jogging bottoms no underwear and t-shirt). 1 Cigarette was smoked. Incredibly realistic visuals. Not just `noise' but actual letters, in some form of ancient script would ebb and flow gradually in focus, gradually out of focus on the opposite wall---as if being projected from somewhere, make of that what you will. Then similar visual disturbances appeared---the edges of some kind of blueprints for some kind of complex machinery. I wish I had a notepad handy with me to scribble down some sketches, because---disturbance or not---the forms were interesting, complex and mechanistic. I originally considered MDMA an entactogen/stimulant, but these effects would definitely be described as mild hallucinations---noticable and real, but translucent/hazy and elusive upon direct focus.

• T:+02:25---180 mg MDMA parachute.

• Luckily by the time I went downstairs to smoke outside the back, everyone was fast asleep in bed. My appearance of intoxication would have been blatant and very apparent to a third person. (Jaw clenching and generally gurning).

• Numerous parachutes of similar dosage over the course of the next few hours. I didn't consider how much I had consumed, I just thought to myself "this is a good idea". Maybe this wasn't the best plan.

• Each time I went downstairs and out of the back door for a cigarette, there would be some kind of visual activity manifesting. On the last occasion (approx. 05:50 in the early morning, I saw the queerest thing I have ever seen. At first, I just thought that one of my housemates was sitting on the chair eating breakfast, but then behind him (on the wall behind me) I noticed a pair of white overalls melting down the wall behind me. I realise that in hindsight, it would have been impossible to see a reflection of that wall in the cabinets anyway, but I kept comparing the two places where I perceived this phenomena to be taking place. They looked to me absolutely real and mirrors of one another. The figure 'zoomed out' after melting to reveal a characteristic photo of a sailor at sea posing next to the big artillary cannons (possibly Falklands uniform, I'm unsure). Literally tripping, which was unexpected from my previous experiences with various ecstasy pills.

• Bearing in mind that I still believed my housemate to be still at the table, eating breakfast, I also saw a huge plasma TV playing 'Match of the Day II'' (a common british football [soccer] week summary show) in the background reflected (even though I was utterly shocked when I came back in and he wasn't there and there was no TV either. The reflections were so vivid though, until they morphed into various amusing visual displays upon focusing elsewhere.

• There were a number of recurring visual disturbances while on MDMA. The first was some kind of jelly matrix---which appeared to be an organism---it was approximately 1 metre long by a half metre wide, with 3D equally spaced and ruled out lines through the organism. It always seemed to be doing something, like breathing. Anyway, the Y-coordinate (up and down with respect to front view) of the top surface of the organism was pulsating like Einstein's vision of the space-time field being dilated by a massive gravity, but constantly shifting from gravity to no gravity (imagine a pencil pressing against and away from a rubber sheet). This image disappeared relatively quickly and was observed again variable in size as it just happened to be where I was at the time...

• I found that colour one of the subtle changes in perception, usually in the pastille colour pallete, e.g. (usually often just one eye affected, sometimes both but in zebra pattern or strange variations of distortion) somewhat from when I looked at them sober. Like a slight print in a large font behind any on-screen text in a light orange colour. While I am on the subject of text, I noticed something that I had never considered important---and that is the pattern created by whitespaces between on-screen text. It seemed incredibly fascinating to me at the time, and somewhat profound. This chemical obviously depresses areas of the brain which deal with supression of abstract thinking, which is why I think it may have some role in creativity.

• Another subtle change which caught me off guard a number of times is the feeling that there was something moving or another person nearby to me in my peripheral vision, even conversing with me. I even said responses to questions they had asked, and then became slightly embarrassed that my housemates may have heard that I was having a conversation with myself (strictly speaking another entity). I have heard that this is a trademark effect of various psychedelics---that peripheral vision is where a lot of the 'magic' can happen.

• Some similarities with the infamous patterns moving all along the floor and up the wall from 'Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas'. sometimes pulsating tiles of pattern or swirling on the surface itself, such as Yin-Yang or weather systems on satellite imagery pervaded this whole experience.

• Please note in mind that I may be particularly susceptible to positive 'psychotic' symptoms than others. I have been categorised as having a schizotypical personality trait , and I suspect some aspects of mild schizophrenia --- which do not impact on my life in any significant way, so there is no functional problems.

• My experience, high purity with no active adulterants, no BZP/TFMPP or any of those comparatively dangerous adulterants, just fairly high purity MDMA (BIG crystals, hardly any powder) purchased from a reliable source. It is expensive for a gram, but worth it. Using heavily like this with little outlet for all this creative energy, I ended up using FB for most of the time I was high, which can probably be disasterous if in the wrong state of mind. Luckily, I was in a really good mood and found myself interacting in a positive but fully open and trusting manner. This would be an area to use caution with these 'drugs'. They lower my inhibitions to the extent that I can end up revealing intimate details about my personality. But then, after consideration, if I am being honest and open, only good can come of it.

• I was also able to go through 1.06 g in total over around a 12 hour period. I wouldn't recommend redosing more than once, as I am set for a really low couple of days. And besides, I've heard there's a ceiling effect dose which is relatively low, depending on the consumer's constitution. Maybe I will do the bare minimum next time, and go out to a dance venue rather than staying in and attempting to melt my mental faculties.

• Overall, an experience that I would not repeat or recommend---when there are more potent and direct ways to explore the psychedelic field. Definitely a setting with good people who do not object to a shared experience in which conversations or topics may increase their ability to communicate with one another on an intimate level.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 95246
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 24
Published: Nov 12, 2019	Views: 1,719
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MDMA (3) : General (1), Alone (16)