Citation: volcommerce. "Hell on Earth Nightmare Train Wreck: An Experience with Methoxetamine (exp95306)". Erowid.org. Mar 21, 2012. erowid.org/exp/95306
This is my first trip report on erowid, which I am posting because it was such a life altering experience that I hope this information contributes to users perception of the drug, and the potential dangers involved.
I received my 10g package of MXE in the mail and was excited to sample this new research chemical. After reading as many trip reports as possible and conducting extensive research, I mentally and physically prepared myself for this new experience, including hydration, healthy food intake and a clean system (no alcohol or other drugs). I have lived by myself for many years, and I didn't have the foresight to have a trip buddy present. I felt confident in my knowledge of MXE's potential dangers. I have extensive experience with other disassociatives, namely ketamine, and yet, the cautionary tales of other users was enough to prevent me from diving 'headlong' in to the word of MXE by taking unknown doses and 'going hard'.
I cut up 25 mg doses in two small lines, my night started around 8 o clock. I insufflated one 25 mg line, and found the drug slow to kick in, I experienced feeling of euphoria, general well being and an opioid relaxation effect. After an hour passed, I did another 25 mg dose, and soon another 25 mg dose. My night ended in a general confused state, extremely bright colours and tracers were noticable, my body was also fairly disassociated, walking was heavy and I was not able to think clearly. I had trouble sleeping that night but the next morning I felt great and continued with my day.
The next night is when the train wreck happened. Even after eating a couple meals during the day and a protein shake. Around 9 pm, I insufflated a 50 mg dose, I can not for the life of me explain what occurred next because I don't remember.
Around 9 pm, I insufflated a 50 mg dose, I can not for the life of me explain what occurred next because I don't remember.
I must have blacked out and insufflated upwards of 150 mg to 300 mg - something I would never do out of fear of complications. The next few hours were a complete blur, I vaguely remember coming in and out of consciousness, there was a loud buzzing noise in my ears and paranoia was present, I remember thinking that my city was under attack from some external electrical force that my 'evil' local cable provider was in on. I was mostly catatonic and having a hard time making sense of anything. The loud carrier wave/buzzing noise continued and it was especially annoying and abusive.
Suddenly, I was transported in to the m-hole dimension. The fluidity of normal human waking life had completely dissolved in to the most dysfunctional drug induced experience I have ever gone through. I became one with hell, all sense of normality was gone and I was experiencing a spinning train wreck of confused psychosis. All physical laws had disappeared and I was the sole victim of a cosmic nightmare. I later recall having feelings of being played in a sick 'game' that I was trapped in, that there was no purpose to life, and I was stuck in an infinite loop. This lasted for a few minute I believe.
As I emerged from this horrifying state a few minutes later (could have been longer) I though the 'joke' was over, and I was expecting 'people,' perhaps god, to emerge from behind the shadows and greet me to comfort me, however, I was alone and still feeling lingering effects of this horrifying m-hole. At this point, feeling completely possessed and psychotic, I punched a hole through my 50 inch television and tore the tendon in my thumb. I blacked out again and must have continued to trash my apartment, breaking lamps, throwing over chairs, and knocking down paintings.
The next thing I recall is looking at the massive hole in my t.v., seeing the destruction everywhere and being at a complete loss as to what was going on and why there was blood everywhere. As I frantically tried to wipe up some blood, I heard a knocking at the door. If I wasn't so catatonic I would have at least looked through the peephole, however, I was so confused that I continued to try to make sense of what was happening. The next knock was much louder, it was the police, 10 cops rushed in to my apartment and handcuffed me, taking me with the paramedics to the hospital.
All in all, this was the worst accidental drug induced nightmare I have ever experienced. Luckily I feel no lingering effects, physically or mentally and I'm lucky to be alive. I have always had a great deal of respect for chemicals and the power that they contain. I am at a complete loss as to why and how I managed to consumed such a large dose while 'blacked out,' something I would NEVER do in a sober minded state. I highly enjoyed the anesthetic and relaxation MXE provided, however, due to the unknown components of this train wreck, I dumped my MXE and will not be using it ever again, out of fear for what could potentially happen despite being a responsible user. In the end, I was arrested with possession of a controlled substance (the cops found a small amount of cocaine at my place).
A word of caution to all those thinking about dabbling with this research chemical! Exercise EXTREME caution!
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