DOSE:

3 hits

smoked

Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

95 lb

Last night, it was around 8:30pm when I decided to hang out with my friend and take a few hits from a bowl with him. So we used a bit of his pot, and the pot I had bought from a good friend of his, who I trusted because my friend was very smart and experienced with weed.

I took two pretty good hits and I was already pretty high and feeling really good. But after the third hit, everything went downhill and I was sent on a rollercoaster of some pretty crazy physical and mental experiences. I took a HUGE hit, like way too big for my little body, I guess, and I was down for the count, almost literally. I’m going to give you a little background info about myself before telling you exactly what happened because maybe it will be a little easier to understand. I’m 19 years old, I’m female, and I’m 5 feet tall and a little under 95 pounds, I’m tiny. So I’ve smoked pot a bunch of times before and I felt perfectly fine and I loved it, I laughed a lot and felt a peace with myself and everyone around me and it was great. But not too long ago, the last time I smoked, actually, I started hearing voices, and they were saying some pretty bizarre and funny things like “don’t hit my pigeon” and some other stuff. I didn’t have any other weird things happen, except for my usual nausea and tremors. But the weird thing is… I thought pot was supposed to get rid of nausea, and I get pretty nauseous when I smoke, but I never vomit and it goes away right when I come down.

But the thing you should know about me up front is that I have a neurological condition called Benign Essential Tremor and I have tremors in my hands, feet, legs, arms, head, and other places and it gets like 100 times worse on weed. So I imagine the nausea is caused by tremors in my involuntary throat and stomach muscles, as I have them in other muscles, too. I also have a very sensitive digestive and respiratory system, as well as anxiety, panic disorder, ADHD, OCD and depression (and maybe bipolar type 2, but I think it’s just ADHD and depression at the same time, DUH, but the doctors really like putting labels on me, don’t ask why, I don’t know), so maybe that would have something to do with my bad experience, and the fact that I hadn’t taken my meds knowing I was going to smoke and didn’t want to mix them.

But anyway, back to the original story. Well, after that third hit, which I lit myself this time, as I was having trouble doing on account of my tremors, and I must have breathed in way too much for way too long because as soon as I went to breathe out, I swallowed and then I couldn’t breathe at all. Before I knew it, I was hanging over my friend’s trash can gasping for air and trying to vomit, but nothing was coming up, or going in for that matter. I started sweating really badly and my eyes were watering like crazy. I must have accidentally messed something up in my throat and nothing was able to enter it, I thought my throat was closing up and that I was going to die. Soon after I finally could breathe a little bit, I took some apple juice that my friend had offered me and sipped it for a little bit and I felt a little better, but not really. Did I mention that I have acid reflux, and apple juice was not the best drink of choice in this situation? Well, I was still over the trash can, burping and coughing, but not vomiting, so I was very relieved by that.

But something was happening during all of this that just made it a lot worse. I started having an out of body experience and I was looking down on my body and everything around me just sounded like white noise. My friend was talking to me and I was responding and I had no idea I was doing so. I was stuck over the trash can, not because I thought I was going to puke, but because I was legitimately stuck there. My muscles were extremely rigid and I was like, paralyzed. I can’t really explain in words what was happening, but I’ll try my best. So I continued having these periods of dissociation from myself and then I would come back and I’d hear everything I was just saying echoing in my head again. I felt like I was in a tunnel and everything was distorted and moving around. My chest and stomach started feeling like they were on fire, and they were very warm to touch, and I seriously thought that they were burning. I was so scared that I thought that I should go to the hospital and my friend said no, you’ll be fine, you’ll feel completely different in like, 20 minutes.

So I just stayed there in that same position, staring at this tapestry he had on his wall and it started spinning and moving in weird patterns, and all the sudden I would snap out of it and come back “into myself.” It got so bad that I thought my soul was leaving my body because I was dying because I had choked so badly, and I started getting extremely paranoid and was hallucinating like crazy. I told my friend I was hallucinating and he was laughing and saying I was fine, and that he had to go to the movies with his other friends. I was so scared because I had to walk back to my dorm (I’m in college), pass two security guards, one to sign me out of my friend’s dorm and one to sign me into my dorm building, and get up 22 floors on the elevator and get into my room. I had no idea how I actually managed to do this, because there was a line to get into my dorm building and my legs were shaking very badly and I kept going “in and out” of myself. I somehow handed my ID to the lady who swiped it and got it back and went up the elevator into my room, got changed into my bedclothes and just sat there for what felt like forever staring off into space. In real life I was only like that for 15 minutes before I had to pee, and while doing that, I thought I was never going to stop peeing, like legit, I thought I was going to pee for the rest of my life. I was also convinced that I was going to stay in that weird half-catatonic state for the rest of my life, too.

I never wanted to be back down to baseline that badly in my life, until now! Went back to my room where I just laid there and started tripping out really bad, all while being extremely nauseous, shaking wildly, and hearing screaming all over. I was so spaced out that I didn’t realize an hour had passed and I thought it was only 10 minutes, and I was just staring at my blinds moving in patterns and sitting up, somehow, I don’t even remember sitting, as I mentioned before, I was laying down. I really wanted to move, but I couldn’t, I was paralyzed again, and stuck in that position, and I was talking to myself apparently, or I was hearing all my thoughts out loud and then they repeated themselves again and then I “woke up.”

My bureau was pretty interesting because my perfume bottle had caught a certain reflection so that the light part kind of looked like a frog. Now this frog was green and had eyes and everything, and it was spinning! I spaced out really bad again and went into that trance-like state and stared at it for like, a half-hour, and then “woke up” and started shaking really bad again. Might I add that I was still pretty nauseous! The whole time I was high, I was convinced that there was something in the back of my throat and that it was crawling in my throat, but nothing was there, I attribute that now to my tremors, but I’m not really sure. Also, my ears were really stuffy and there was a lot of pressure in them and it wasn’t fun, I couldn’t hear anything except for screaming. But I remembered somehow that chewing gum helped soothe that feeling so I did just that. So the nausea started to dissipate, but not the paranoia or the visual distortions. I went over to my blinds, after I realized I could move, and was moving them purposely to see if there was any difference, but I couldn’t really tell because I was so high and I had spaced out again while staring out the window. When I was looking out the window, I could have sworn that there were kids playing “Frogger” with the traffic and running across the road when they thought no cars were coming, or when the other light turned yellow, they’d start running across to try and beat the impending green light, and one kid just walked across and made a speeding car come to a halt because he wouldn’t hurry up across the road, despite the fact that it was a green light.

Quite honestly, I think I was hallucinating that because I don’t think people are stupid enough to do that and it just didn’t seem “real.” I randomly snapped out of that trance again and thought I was paralyzed, again, and tried to move, but I couldn’t.
I started staring at the wall and ceiling and was seeing crazy patterns and images on my wall, and some pretty crazy colors and designs, too. There was this one, it was like rings, and I was moving through them with my eyes, and everything was distorted. I seriously thought that the pot was laced with acid by this point and was paranoid about that the whole time after. But when I stared at the ceiling, I saw these random holes where the paint had chipped or was uneven and they looked like eyes, so I started hallucinating a turtle on my ceiling because the different textures and layers of paint on my ceiling made that kind of shape. But the weird thing is, I was comfortable with the turtle, but then it turned into an alligator that looked like it was in a river and was trying to sneak up on me and that made me very uneasy, so then I pictured a dog swimming with one eye facing me and its nose sticking out ahead of it, and the half of its body was above water and I could see its tail and muzzle above the water. Then it went back to a turtle and stayed a turtle. Again, I was pretty much stiff as a board during this and then I would “come to” and move my eyes around and think about what just happened. But again, my thoughts were out loud and everything felt delayed by like, 5 seconds, which actually was happening throughout this whole experience.

Well, I finally felt very different, just like my friend had said, and everything randomly got brighter and I actually had some periods of lucidity that lasted about a few seconds, then I would lapse into that weird trance-like feeling. After a while, I was coming down considerably, and it was around 11:30pm when I could finally think straight and the screaming stopped and everything, but I still was kind of high and was still obsessing over my blinds moving. I got up multiple times to see if they were moving, but they would move, then stop, and the parts I wasn’t looking at were still, while the ones I was focusing on were moving in that weird pattern, oh and the colors were still there! Despite the fact that I was still twitching and having tremors, I finally fell asleep around 12:00-12:30am and didn’t wake up again until 1:00pm the next day. I realized that I had gotten really lucky because my roommate had slept over a friend’s dorm last night and she wasn’t there while I was higher than a kite, higher than a space satellite, actually.

Today was really weird, and I was very uncomfortable the whole day, even now as I type this. I realized that I have a considerable amount of homework due and I was and still am extremely nervous about it because I still can’t think straight at all. I managed to get out of bed and go down to the cafeteria and get some brownies and root beer (of course) and tried to do some of my homework, but I couldn’t because I could only think about how I needed to eat and use the bathroom.

So I finished that and then fell asleep and had some pretty bizarre dreams. One was about a riot in front of my dorm’s lobby, where the kids were playing “Frogger” last night and a cop was going to shoot this lady and there was a lot of screaming. Except when I woke up, the screaming was still there and I could hear it loud and clear and this person was shouting mean things and profane language and I knew that couldn’t have actually been happening because I looked outside and there was no one there, and even if there was someone there, I live on the 22nd floor of a tower and I can’t hear exactly what people are saying even if they are screaming at the top of their lungs. So I fell back asleep and had a dream that I was back in the old days and I was being tried for stealing a piece of bread and a guy, I guess it was Jesus, or a Jesus figure, was also there and people wanting him dead instead of me. And I was insisting that I was the one who stole the bread and that I should be punished and the other man was innocent, and this other guy whipped me and I woke up and shouted “Ow!” Then I fell back asleep and the dream continued and I was like, begging to be punished and this guy kept whipping me and each time I jumped and twitched, I was half-asleep at this point, so I actually realized I was doing that in real life. But then I started dreaming about other things that I forget, but all I can remember is waking up in a panic and sweating really badly and breathing heavily each time.

I finally got sick of that and got in the shower to see if that would help, but it didn’t because in the shower there was this like ball of I don’t know what and I seriously thought that someone let a bunny in the shower and it pooped. Then I was convinced that a human had actually defecated in the shower and then I was paranoid about my friend. I thought that he didn’t like me and was using me because I would smoke with him, and that because of what happened last night, he wouldn’t ever talk to me again. Him and his friends had went to the movies last night and then went to the St. Patrick’s Day parade and got wasted and partied all day and I was upset that I wasn’t invited I guess. So I remembered what my mom had said about my skin over break (last Friday) and thought that it was because of that.

Now I have bad skin, and OCD, which doesn’t help because I like to pick at it and I have trouble with it because again, I have OCD. So my mom gets very nasty about it and she told me that’s why I have no friends and nobody wants to hang out with me because of my skin and that’s all they see and that I’m going to be alone my whole life and all that. And this really messed me up, not just today, but my whole life, because my mom would say that stuff to me when I was in like, 5th or 6th grade up until now, and I got really depressed and self-conscious about it. I guess because of that, I got really paranoid about it and I wanted to like, harm myself, but I didn’t because I know that would end badly, because it has happened before when I got really high on a variety of different prescription pills in my medicine cabinet and if someone saw me then, they would’ve rushed me to the hospital because I seriously should’ve gotten stitches, but I’m not going into that. So thank God I didn’t do anything too stupid, haha, and I got out of the shower and decided to try and do homework. Well, I still haven’t gotten much done, on account of this, and I wanted to snort my Adderall, but thank God I didn’t do that either, I just took one and thought it would help me focus better, but it didn’t, I still feel like crap and my tremors are still pretty bad, and my neck hurts. Now that I reflect on last night, I believe that I was catatonic, and that I was experiencing some kind of drug-induced psychosis and I have to say, despite the choking, the nausea, the paranoia, and the terrible tremors and paranoia, it was pretty awesome!

I’m a neuroscience major and I’m extremely intrigued by hallucination, and I’ve always wondered what it was like to have that type of experience, even though I have experienced non-drug-induced psychosis before, this was way more intense and profound . Oh, and to the person who became obsessed with schizophrenia, I was obsessed with that since like, freshman year of high school (when I thought I had it), and still am, so I guess I’m as screwed as you there! I feel as if I’ll never think the same again. I feel like I’m going to be paranoid and nervous about everything for the rest of my life, despite the medication and treatment I’m already receiving for the conditions I mentioned earlier. I fear becoming addicted to drugs and that I’ll have no friends and be alone and screw up my whole entire life. But then again, I can stop it, I just have to wait this feeling out and know that I can’t do it again, and stay away from drugs (except the ones prescribed by my doctor), and keep myself motivated and focused on my studies and my future.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 95319
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Nov 30, 2025	Views: Not Supported
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Cannabis (1) : Health Problems (27), Depression (15), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)