Do you know about DrugsData.org?
It's an Erowid project that does lab drug testing of anonymously
submitted samples & publishes the results online. [See Recent Results]
The End of an Era
MDMA
by Murderith
Citation:   Murderith. "The End of an Era: An Experience with MDMA (exp95411)". Erowid.org. Jan 20, 2022. erowid.org/exp/95411

 
DOSE:
  repeated oral MDMA
  1 cup oral Coffee
      Tobacco - Cigarettes
    oral Hydrocodone
    oral Acetaminophen

BODY WEIGHT: 110 lb


[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

Since the age of 17, so for 5 years from the point that this happened in 2009, I LOVED to roll and trip. I'd never turn it down, no matter what. Until one harrowing night changed everything. I am 25 years old and have not touched a mind altering substance (only mood altering) in over 3 years, and never will again. And this is why.

I was living in Texas, waiting tables, and a friend that I worked with came across these AMAZING tabs. I mean, blow my mind when I thought I was far beyond ever being able to be shocked by this sort of thing. I believe they were red...beyond that I am sorry but I can't recall the imprint.

The first time I took them I popped probably three, and headed out to meet some friends for coffee, who did not do drugs and were not cool with people who did them. But I wasn't worried, I could roll under any circumstances and keep it on the DL. So about an hour and a half later, we're having coffee, and all of a sudden I begin feeling nauseous and strange. And right off the bat I thought 'Holy shit, if this is the roll coming on, I'm in trouble, I need to get somewhere and stay there ASAP.' So I left, and how I drove home that night, I will never know. I was puking my guts out and on another planet. I was so excited. As far as drugs were concerned I thought I had lost the ability to be amazed a long time ago, but this was beyond anything I had ever felt. I was rolling harder than ever before, plus my teeth were...twinging?...as if I were on acid. It was awesome and it lasted for 2 days. A bunch of my friends from work and I had a block of like 6 days where we were all off together somehow, so after that night we all decided we were going to roll for the entire 6 days on these amazing tabs and see who makes it all the way through. So it was on.

Fast forward to the last night. I was the only one left. I had 2 more tabs and I was exhausted, so I decided to eat them and just chill in my room until I fell asleep. But that was not what happened. At all. After I took them things were going fine, and I'd say about an hour in, I decided to smoke a cigarette. In the house I was living in at the time, smoking was not allowed, but I lived upstairs, so at night I would sit on my windowsill and smoke. So I was doing this, and looking out at the street, and there was a set of apartment buildings across the street from my house. At the walk in entrance to these apartments, there was a wrought iron gate. Just a regular gate. And I started staring at this gate and I found myself thinking it looked scary and strange. And then I thought to myself 'What's wrong with you, that's a really weird way to feel about a gate'. And that was it....I was gone. Into what I can now only describe as a labyrinth of emptiness and aloneness and torment.
I was gone. Into what I can now only describe as a labyrinth of emptiness and aloneness and torment.
None of it makes sense now, thank god...most of it I became unable to recall once I became normal again. I remember this pattern that looked like electrified waffle iron grids being stuck in my mind and I remember finding them to be horrifying. I remember having all of these epiphanies, one of which I still remember. That I was a fool for not having seen this coming. That every trip or roll I had taken EVER, had been leading up to this...this mental break. And it was SO obvious. And how could I have missed it. I needed help. But I was terrified to speak.

I texted my friend, long story short, instructing her to come to my house and to not say a word to me. It was 4 AM, and I told her that no was not an option. That I would die if she said no. My driveway had a gate that I was going to have to open. She texted me and asked if I was going to be able to do that and I said yes. So she came. And I opened the gate and we sat in my driveway, practically in the middle of the street, in the middle of downtown Houston, with her holding me, in silence for 3 hours until the sun came up. Finally she said 'Can I talk now cause this is really stupid.'. I still was not okay. But I was okay enough to know what would make me okay, and that was Lorcets. Lots of them. I made some texts, and somehow, in my state, managed to drive 45 minutes to get them, and as soon as I ate them I was better enough to be able to see outside of the trip and to know that soon I would be alright.

Moral of the story....overdoing it caught up with me. Also, I am willing to bet that would not have happened had I been with friends.

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 95411
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 22 
Published: Jan 20, 2022Views: 257
[ View as PDF (for printing) ] [ View as LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Switch Colors ]
MDMA (3) : Glowing Experiences (4), Multi-Day Experience (13), Difficult Experiences (5), Various (28)

COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid.
TERMS OF USE: By accessing this page, you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center and receiving written permission prior to your downloading the data.

Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


Experience Vaults Index Full List of Substances Search Submit Report User Settings About Main Psychoactive Vaults