Citation: Murderith. "The End of an Era: An Experience with MDMA (exp95411)". Erowid.org. Jan 20, 2022. erowid.org/exp/95411
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
Since the age of 17, so for 5 years from the point that this happened in 2009, I LOVED to roll and trip. I'd never turn it down, no matter what. Until one harrowing night changed everything. I am 25 years old and have not touched a mind altering substance (only mood altering) in over 3 years, and never will again. And this is why.
I was living in Texas, waiting tables, and a friend that I worked with came across these AMAZING tabs. I mean, blow my mind when I thought I was far beyond ever being able to be shocked by this sort of thing. I believe they were red...beyond that I am sorry but I can't recall the imprint.
The first time I took them I popped probably three, and headed out to meet some friends for coffee, who did not do drugs and were not cool with people who did them. But I wasn't worried, I could roll under any circumstances and keep it on the DL. So about an hour and a half later, we're having coffee, and all of a sudden I begin feeling nauseous and strange. And right off the bat I thought 'Holy shit, if this is the roll coming on, I'm in trouble, I need to get somewhere and stay there ASAP.' So I left, and how I drove home that night, I will never know. I was puking my guts out and on another planet. I was so excited. As far as drugs were concerned I thought I had lost the ability to be amazed a long time ago, but this was beyond anything I had ever felt. I was rolling harder than ever before, plus my teeth were...twinging?...as if I were on acid. It was awesome and it lasted for 2 days. A bunch of my friends from work and I had a block of like 6 days where we were all off together somehow, so after that night we all decided we were going to roll for the entire 6 days on these amazing tabs and see who makes it all the way through. So it was on.
Fast forward to the last night. I was the only one left. I had 2 more tabs and I was exhausted, so I decided to eat them and just chill in my room until I fell asleep. But that was not what happened. At all. After I took them things were going fine, and I'd say about an hour in, I decided to smoke a cigarette. In the house I was living in at the time, smoking was not allowed, but I lived upstairs, so at night I would sit on my windowsill and smoke. So I was doing this, and looking out at the street, and there was a set of apartment buildings across the street from my house. At the walk in entrance to these apartments, there was a wrought iron gate. Just a regular gate. And I started staring at this gate and I found myself thinking it looked scary and strange. And then I thought to myself 'What's wrong with you, that's a really weird way to feel about a gate'. And that was it....I was gone. Into what I can now only describe as a labyrinth of emptiness and aloneness and torment.
I was gone. Into what I can now only describe as a labyrinth of emptiness and aloneness and torment.
None of it makes sense now, thank god...most of it I became unable to recall once I became normal again. I remember this pattern that looked like electrified waffle iron grids being stuck in my mind and I remember finding them to be horrifying. I remember having all of these epiphanies, one of which I still remember. That I was a fool for not having seen this coming. That every trip or roll I had taken EVER, had been leading up to this...this mental break. And it was SO obvious. And how could I have missed it. I needed help. But I was terrified to speak.
I texted my friend, long story short, instructing her to come to my house and to not say a word to me. It was 4 AM, and I told her that no was not an option. That I would die if she said no. My driveway had a gate that I was going to have to open. She texted me and asked if I was going to be able to do that and I said yes. So she came. And I opened the gate and we sat in my driveway, practically in the middle of the street, in the middle of downtown Houston, with her holding me, in silence for 3 hours until the sun came up. Finally she said 'Can I talk now cause this is really stupid.'. I still was not okay. But I was okay enough to know what would make me okay, and that was Lorcets. Lots of them. I made some texts, and somehow, in my state, managed to drive 45 minutes to get them, and as soon as I ate them I was better enough to be able to see outside of the trip and to know that soon I would be alright.
Moral of the story....overdoing it caught up with me. Also, I am willing to bet that would not have happened had I been with friends.
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