DOSE:	1 hit	oral	LSD
		oral	MDMA

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

Before I go into the details of my LSD blackout experience, let me give you a precursor to what led me to these events in my life.

After a little over half a year of dating this extremely manipulative fugitive guy I was convinced to run away with him to Eugene, Oregon after he dodged his court date and left the halfway house. There I started dancing at a local strip club which ended up uncovering our hideout because the Feds had known I was a dancer before. He was arrested the third day into our trip and shortly after I had befriended a fellow coworker, thinking I was to just stay in Eugene. So with that out of the way...

After my boyfriend's arrest I was invited to come to this rave with my new friend from work. When we got there I had dropped the LSD and took the molli, I may have taken a gram but I don't remember. [Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.] Things started getting weird when this concession girl I had talked to earlier wanted to step out for a cigarette and asked me to take over. The line for the bathroom was super long and from what I could see people were just super thirsty. I noticed that there were so many bottles of water underneath the table so without thinking I just began handing them out. Eventually a group of girls came over and angrily asked me what I was doing. This is when I lost my ability to speak. I could only say one or two words or try and gesture what I wanted to say. They girls just told me that they'd take care of it and I continued on with the party.

Eventually the cops had been called and the party was moved to a house. I had a hard time finding my friend but when I did we went to the place everything got moved to. I could talk by now but was feeling very shy and alone. I remember saying something along the lines of 'I'm thirsty' and some guy near me asked me if people got me water where I was from. I left to go get water and stayed by the kitchen sink for a while. People began talking to me, mostly guys and lesbians. Some of them were nice but everything was just getting shadier and shadier. This is around the time the blackout started, and things are very vague from this point on so bear with me.

The last few things I remember was saying 'my parents were divorced' over and over again when trying to talk to someone about my life. Then a girl tried offering me gum but all I could do was apologize. I was on my period at the time and when I looked around all I could see was blood, I thought I was bleeding all over the party! Everyone was covering in it and when I looked down I could see blood all over the floor around me. I just kept saying sorry over and over and crying. Eventually my friend had found me and took me upstairs. A bunch of girls were there with me all night helping me. I don't remember this part but apparently I had stripped off all my clothes in the middle of the crowd repeating 'I don't want to be a stripper anymore'. So as the girls were taking care of me, they kept saying things like, 'we are all goddesses, I've been through this too, and keep breathing'. There was three woman behind me, which in my state of mind I thought was a version of the three wise men, and various people coming in and out. I imagined I was giving birth to the second coming of Christ, or some variation of this, and invisioned there being a hallway of people that connected to the door of that room. The hallway was like a string of colorful tent like things, with people all over the world to come and see the baby. I just kept pushing and crying, apparently pissing everywhere.

At one point I remember looking up at a tapestry and crying uncontrollably at how beautiful it was. Looking around the room as if it were a completely foreign place, in awe of how love had been preserved there. At one point I was left with one girl, we were laying on our sides facing one another and as I looked at her face I kept seeing it transform into all the faces I've ever seen, morphing in a clockwise direction. This is where I felt the most comfort. She was so giving, so understanding of what I was going through, I felt very safe and unjudged. I vaguely remember being in a car, which kept pulling over and stopping because the drivers thought I was going to vomit I suppose.

I eventually came to the next morning trying to draw with the angel girl. She was like, 'I like to draw stars' drew one, then handed the pencil to me. Thinking the pencil would write on its own I drew a line. My friend was there too, I was so embarrassed, for good reason. Everyone ended up leaving when they realized I was better, but I was all alone and so so sad.

I called my mom and went back home the next day.

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 95455
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Jan 20, 2022	Views: 479
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
LSD (2), MDMA (3) : Large Group (10+) (19), Guides / Sitters (39), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3)