Citation: DrugsAddict. "Derailed Trip: An Experience with 4-HO-MET (exp95545)". Erowid.org. Jun 27, 2012. erowid.org/exp/95545
I am a fairly experienced user in terms of tryptamines, I have used mushrooms a couple of times, and research chemicals (all psilocybin derivatives) a couple times as well. I am less so experienced in other, more mainstream drugs, I have taken ecstasy once, smoked pot a lot (though I have quit), and thatís pretty much it. I donít smoke and I am fairly in shape.
There are two capsules in the small Ziploc bag. One contains 25 mg and the other 15 mg. The first one is the main dose and the second one is a contingency plan in case things are too mellow. When I take the first capsule, I donít know yet that I wonít need the second. As I take the capsule, I am in washroom of my school, my last course of the day just finished and I have eight hours totally free. Itís 10h30 AM.
The plan is to take the capsule as class ends, then I have more or less an hour and a half of transportation to get home. First, the subway, for approximately forty-five minutes, I figure itíll be my come up period. Then the bus for about the same amount of time, I figure Iíll listen to music on my mp3 while I watch the landscape change.
Thatís the initial plan anyway.
Iím half-way through the second segment of subway I have to take when I start feeling the first effects. I feel my legs are weak, like gravity has been turned up a notch, or my legs just lost their strength. Then, a slight nausea starts creeping in, and quickly builds up. Nausea is funny that way because once you realize youíre feeling nauseous, the best thing to do is to take your mind off it, but of course since youíre trying to get your mind off it, the only thing you can think of is the nausea. This time did not differ from that type of experience. Iím trying to think of everything I can to get the nausea off my mind, reading anything I can in the subway car, scrutinizing people all around, but the nausea persists. Fortunately, I get to my station and Iím still fine.
Unfortunately, Iíve only taken two of the three lines I need to take to get to the bus station, so I have one more metro line to take. As I walk to the loading area, I ponder whether I should wait around for the nausea to pass. The tradeoff is it would make for a much more pleasant subway ride, but the downside is the actual effects of the drug will have that much more time to get on. At that point, while Iím waiting for the subway for the last time, Iím having the usual breathing surfaces visuals, and my body is feeling atrociously heavy. I have more and more difficulty to walk straight.
In the end, I get on the subway, without waiting for the nausea to pass. Itís not a conscious decision. Iím more on autopilot at this point and I feel it would be weird to stop to wait in the subway. When the subway doors close, I feel like a kid on his first roller coaster ride as the rides just starts advancing slowly, not too sure what I just got myself into. The nausea stays with me for the whole ride but I manage to keep it at bay, though saying I was feeling relief when we got to our destination would be understating it, severely.
As I get to the place I need to go to wait for the bus that will take me home, my movements feel altered and difficult, but I get there without too much trouble. At this point, paranoia starts creeping in. Itís not like on marijuana (i.e. you think everyone knows youíre high), itís more about the potential consequences of getting caught by someone, having to deal with all that comes with that. Also, the 4-ACO-Met makes any emotion I feel increase in intensity. So, if youíre feeling a little apprehensive then this apprehension can easily grow out of proportion. This is an effect I have noted, both with psilocin, and almost all of compounds that are derived from it.
As I wait for the bus to come, I try to avoid looking people in the eyes. I also try to keep control of my facial expressions for I tend to forget completely about them when I get absorbed in a particular thought loop. At one point I look at the grey concrete floor and distinguish a beautiful clear pattern on the ground. It is so well integrated in the concrete that if I didnít know there were no patterns on the floor I could have believed it to be an actual decoration. When I move my eyes to look elsewhere, the patterns stays grounded in the concrete, adding to the realism.
The bus finally arrives, I hop in without too much difficulty and sit down in front of the bus next to a window. The whole ride I am looking out the window at the world outside. By then the effects are full on, I feel like reality is being shoved into my consciousness. If someone were to try speaking to me, I could scarcely respond, and it is causing me some stress. At times, I get into these thought loops where I completely forget the world around me, only to Ďwake upí moments later afraid to have passed my stop.
Outside, the world is pure light, the sun shines like it has never shone, I feel like Iíve never enjoyed the sun light that way. At the same time, Iím listening to a playlist I prepared for the occasion (on my mp3). For those interested, it contains Ratatat, Pink Floyd, Mogwai, Samuel Jackson Five and Long Distance Calling (among other things). I mention it because I like to know what people listen to while they are tripping, so I feel obliged to mention it.
Eventually, the bus gets to my stop. Walking from my seat to the door proves challenging because of the motion. I get off the bus and walk home. As I approach my house (technically my motherís) I notice a black truck parked outside, and I donít recognize the truck from anywhere. So clearly, someoneís home, even though there isnít supposed to be. At that point, Iím way too influenced to even hold a coherent conversation, and getting back home and confronting whoever is there isnít even an option. Iím not even worried that we might be getting robbed or something similar, I know thereís a logical and normal explanation, but at the same time, I donít want to confront whoever it is. So, I turn around and start walking the other way.
I remember thinking that there were a lot of people around and it was messing up my ability to think clearly and elaborate a plan. The solution I find is to hop a nearby fence that leads into a nearby forest where no one goes. My thinking is I will be protected from other peopleís gaze and will be able to think of a solution. Walking in the woods is amazing, the forest feels sentient and I feel like Iím alone in the world. After walking for a short while, I sit on a nearby rock and start reviewing my options.
I could spend the whole afternoon outside, but at the same time Iím feeling pressured to get to a safe haven (i.e. my home). At his point, it is about 12h15, itís been about 1h45 since I took the drug and I know the effects wonít be disappearing for another three to four hours. The plan I devise is to call a friend of mine to come pick me up and lift me up to my fatherís house where thereís nobody. Fortunately, my friend answers and everything is arranged; I am to get out of the forest and wait for him by the nearby road.
Everything goes as planned and my friend comes pick me up with his girlfriend (whom I already know). Iím feeling incredible relief when I enter the car, knowing that I am with people with whom I can be completely honest. We chat a bit at first then my friend tells me that he passed in front my motherís house and thereís no car parked in the driveway. Now, this has, hands down, been the best trip Iíve had on derivatives of psilocin for the visuals, but I know I havenít hallucinated a black car. In the end, he simply goes to my motherís house and Iím forced to admit thereís no car in front of the house. With the danger (at least in my mind) passed, thereís no more reason for me not to go back home, so I thank my friend and go back home.
As I walk into the house I hear someone moving inside; the cleaning lady. I would later learn that black car was her husbandís car, and that for some reason she did not use her own car that particular day. I have no intention of going to converse with the cleaning lady at that particular time so I retreat to my room and lock the door for good measure. Itís about 12h45.
I, then spend the next 2 hours in my room listening to music on my bed. I listen to some God is an Astronaut, some Godspeed You! Black Emperor!, and the soundtrack of the movie The Fountain. The music is incredibly rich, and very emotional. As with shrooms, I feel like I am closer to my emotions on this drug and also more honest with myself. Maybe it is just an impression (after all I have taken a drug), but I feel I understand my life more than when I am sober. At some point, I am tired of the music and simply spend about an hour thinking about things that concern me, about people I know, from close or far. I think about happiness, about the things I like to do, about how the most normal I feel is on drugs.
During this two hour period, there is one time I get up from the bed to take a shower, because I just find it to be the greatest idea ever and boy was I right. The feeling of being in the shower is amazing; I feel the water running down by body like I have never felt it. I feel like I am a child again, taking his first ever shower, discovering the pleasure of water. I also find myself intrigued by my own nakedness and I look quite a lot at my own body.
Eventually, the cleaning lady is done with her work and leaves enabling myself to take back my home, though at that point the effects have begun to fade away. I end up spending the rest of the fading trip listening to even more music with nothing really worth noting.
A girl to whom I spoke of my drug taking (she herself doesnít really take drugs) once asked me what kind of effects one can expect from such drugs (derivatives of psilocin, or at least close analogs). At the time, I tried to explain, but I feel my explanation didnít lift much of the mystery surrounding those drugs. At a later time, I thought about a comparison which sounds true at least to me. I find that taking these drugs feels like I am being taken back to the time when I was just a little child. I know all that I know today, but things are newer, shinier, more interesting. I discover new things in all that I see, and thus everything is interesting. At the same time, I am innocent because of my young age, so my emotions arenít tampered by social conditioning and traumas, I ame more honest with myself because this is the way that a child behaves naturallyÖ I find this comparison to hold for most effects of psilocin analogs, though of course it isnít perfect.
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