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Just One of Those Nights of Fear and Loathing
Citation:   badfish605. "Just One of Those Nights of Fear and Loathing: An Experience with MDA (exp95799)". Feb 21, 2017.

T+ 0:00
750 mg oral MDA (powder / crystals)
  T+ 8:00 1 mg oral Pharms - Clonazepam (pill / tablet)
[Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]
This is an experience that taught me a very harsh psychological lesson about how to respect every chemical I come into contact with, regardless of whether I think I can handle it or not.

Being one of the darker points of my life due to excessive drug use (it was mainly copious amounts cocaine and very pure MDMA at this time), I was going full throttle on just about anything I could get my hands on, and it just so turns out a friend of mine had bought an ounce of raw MDA (looked like raw brown sugar). I was with a girl I was seeing at the time (Iíll call her N), so we met up with my friend and I purchase a gram and a half from him. My girl and I were looking to roll hard and just have a relaxing cuddly evening, but I had forgotten the psychedelic aspect of MDA, since I had only done a dab here and there at festivals and concerts. My first mistake was splitting what I bought into 2 equal piles (around 750mg each). She had never tried it before, and I had been doing A LOT of MDMA lately so I figured my tolerance was insanely high to these types of drugs and thought nothing of it. We both parachuted the piles immediately, and started the drive back to her place. This was about 9 p.m. and from then on my sense of time and reality was warped until the next day.

We got back to Nís apartment, and by this time Iím just feeling the come up rather intensely, as is she. We both sit in my car in her parking lot for some time listening to music and try to compile thoughts on what to do for the night. I noticed N was starting to talk jibberish and she was looking around on my car floor and in her purse for something that probably wasnít there. This went on for at least 20-30 minutes until I got fed up with waiting on her and told her I would meet her inside her place when sheís done. She said OK so I go up to her apartment where her two roommates were there playing video games. I start bullshitting with them, and thatís when the peak started to get insane.

As Iím talking to them, I start having trouble remembering what I had just said in the previous sentence.
As Iím talking to them, I start having trouble remembering what I had just said in the previous sentence.
I get embarrassed at this, and say Iím done talking awhile to them, but a few seconds later I would forget I said this and try to carry on a conversation again with them. They knew I was on this drug, but neither of them knew what it was and they kept asking me if I was OK. Of course I said yes, so this babble went on back and forth for at least an hour. As this is happening the visuals are pretty intense, with the walls of the apartment waving like they would on a good mushroom trip, my skin looking like itís gooseflesh (some people see this on high amounts of MDMA), and my eyes shaking back and forth as fast as hummingbirdís wings. I suddenly realize I havenít seen N in at least over an hour, so I run back outside to my car and she isnít there.

A feeling of panic creeps over me, remembering she hadnít used this drug before and she could be anywhere. I got back up to the apartment and I try calling her and leaving messages over and over. After trying many times to get a hold of her, I internally give up on having a good rest of the night and hope the best for her. The roommates asked if I was ok to drive, and I replied yes, stupidly thinking it wouldnít be a big deal for me to drive the thirty miles back to my parentís house. This was where the craziest trip of my life started as far as Iím concerned.

[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
I must have left Nís apartment around midnight or 1 a.m. I was in the suburbs of Boston, so trying to figure out the usually easy route home turned into a nightmare with the winding streets and cramped feeling of the city around me. Every street looked like the previous one, so I ended up turning down the wrong street over and over until I finally got the right street. I had thirty miles of these mistakes, even trying to use my phoneís GPS, but I couldnít read anything or comprehend what was up and down or left and right on the screen. While all this was happening my stress level skyrocketed. My whole body would spasm intensely every few seconds; it reminded me of severe opiate withdrawal. As far as my mind was concerned, I now know what it feels like to be a paranoid schizophrenic. I was having conversations with two friends I had hung out earlier in the day with, but every time I looked in the back seat (where I thought they both were sitting), they werenít there. I was realizing I was talking to no one and this caused me and almost convinced me I was going insane. I was really craving the clonazepam I had at home at this point.

As I was driving down a wrong street at one point, I realized it was the wrong way and tried turning around, but to my horror I heard a crunch. I got out to look at what I had hit, and it was someoneís parked car that had all the damage and there was none on my car. I then started to panic even more so I jumped into my car and got out of there as fast as I could. Hit and runs are never in my agenda, so I was really freaking out about being this fucked up at this time of morning (Iím going to estimate it was about 3 a.m.). Iím very thankful nothing ever came of that.

I finally find one of the main roads back to my parentís house and feel pretty relieved, but paranoia about cops is still running high. The sun was coming up, so it must have been around 5 a.m. There were no more issues aside from the fact that I was afraid my very conservative parents would be out of bed when I got home. I pulled into my driveway and thankfully no one was up yet. I tip-toed down to my room, exhausted and still feeling paranoid, but not quite as bad. I immediately downed 1mg of my clonazepam, and within an hour I fell asleep.

Waking up later that afternoon/early evening, I surprisingly didnít have any bad hangover. I think I was just happy that I didnít go to jail or the hospital or cause more harm than I did. I was worried about N, but I didnít find out until the next day or two later that she had been wandering the streets aimlessly and had been picked up by the cops and taken to the hospital. She was alright, but the amount she consumed without any tolerance had to have messed her up pretty badly, considering I was the one with the huge tolerance. I talked to her later and she didnít really talk about that night, so Iím going to assume it was pretty traumatic for both of us.

Iíve done my fair share of mushrooms, LSD, and obviously MDMA, but no memory of tripping sticks out as much as this one. Please, please know the drugs you are going to do, and even if you do, donít underestimate any dose you take and make sure the set and setting is right for it. Respect the drug and it respects you.

Exp Year: 2010ExpID: 95799
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: Feb 21, 2017Views: 3,619
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MDA (34) : Train Wrecks & Trip Disasters (7), Various (28)

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