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Powerful Dissociation
Tobacco - Cigarettes
by Cameron
Citation:   Cameron. "Powerful Dissociation: An Experience with Tobacco - Cigarettes (exp95987)". Erowid.org. Aug 25, 2022. erowid.org/exp/95987

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DOSE:
1 hit smoked Tobacco - Cigarettes (extract)

BODY WEIGHT: 150 lb


As a person who now currently smokes around 7 cigarettes a day with a very peculiar history on how I started smoking and as a person who has dabbled in many other drugs (DMT, LSD, Marijuana, many other pharms) I feel I am suited to make a report on my past intense experiences with this not so novel now (rather more an annoyance and unpleasant addiction) but then wonderful drug.

Enough of that drivel. I first started smoking at the age of 15 in 2009. I did not start like most other kids, stealing cigarettes and dreading the sickly feeling of inhaling from the start but continuing to try and look cool, rather I used it solely for its psychoactive effects. I would swipe cigarette butts from ash trays around my house and collect the sweet sweet tobacco inside of them inside of a small tin. I still miss the excitement I felt in those days when I had a nice little stash of tobacco to use and the novelty of searching for it in the beginning phases of my long addiction.

I had a small pipette made of glass that I stuck a piece of faucet screen inside of and used that to smoke from, sort of like a makeshift glass one hitter. I would take a small pinch of tobacco and put it inside of the little one hit sized bowl and light it up, inhaling the smoke. I remember how strong the throat hit was back then, satisfyingly wanting to cough with the wholesome feeling but fighting off the urge. I held the hit until reality unwound inside of my head. My equilibrium disappeared and so did my connection to my body. For a split second in that twenty second nicotine rush all of reality was a mystery to me. Sometimes it was to much to fast and the feeling scared me, making my heart race, a feeling of having reality wicked away from me. Always if I repeated this process more than twice a night a powerful headache and restlessness would consume me and leave me in great discomfort so I avoided doing it frequently.

Addiction slowly built up over time, the effects grew less intense over time and less novel and collecting tobacco for my pipe was a necessity, it went from once every few nights to several hits a day to keep the itchy nicotine withdrawal at bay. Over time I started smoking cigarettes and eventually got to the point where the tolerance was enough that like all smokers not even the first cigarette of the day has any noticeable effects other than driving off the itch. I now feel nothing from it and it has lost all novelty to me.

But more on the feelings I felt back then because this report is not about normal smoking habits but about the potent psychoactive effects of tobacco smoke at the beginning of my smoking career. I do not know if others have felt effects so strong as this or maybe they have but just likened the powerful loss of equilibrium to the discomfort they felt from having smoke in their lungs and paid no mind to it?

Regardless these feelings were hard to describe. Having used DMT in my past I can almost compare it to the loss of contact with the body that DMT has given to me, although much less 'psychoactive / psychedelic' and more physical and emotionless. No visuals, no nothing, no feelings of the mind opening up. Just a very powerful rush of light headedness and loss of balance. It did not last nearly as long as the even still short acting drug DMT nor does it carry any real connection but the potency of losing control between the two was similar albeit very different at the same time. There was no noticeable euphoria in the conventional sense of the word but there was a sort of feeling like the top of my head was gone and all of everything was rushing into it. Again, it was a big rush.

The lack of equilibrium was the most peculiar effect. I do know that nicotine has paradoxical effects as both a downer and an upper but I am now beginning to liken the effects of nicotine to being somewhat dissociative or unrelated to conventional groupings of psychoactives. Simply because the nootropic learning effects are always apparent but after smoking a cigarette in the early phases of smoking whole cigarettes my balance was always altered and off and I felt motivated yet apathetic, distanced, strange, just... odd
my balance was always altered and off and I felt motivated yet apathetic, distanced, strange, just... odd
. Not to mention the total loss of equilibrium during my most early phase of tobacco use. The feelings however were utter dissociation akin to the beginnings of a DMT trip or a large inhale of nitrous oxide. I feel like the equilibrium loss had a link with a lack of depth perception which is a common feeling I have felt on both Ketamine and DXM, though mild for tobacco smoke I always found judging distances when skateboarding to be quite a bit of a challenge compared to before I had smoked when I used to skateboard.

I feel like nicotine or rather tobacco smoke including all of its elements is definitely more belonging in the anxiolytic and dissociative class of drugs rather than in a 'stimulant or depressant' paradoxical grouping. Also feelings of paradoxical stimulation and depression have been noted for me when on DXM but not as much on ketamine which seemed to be much more of a downer than a stimulant but there was always an odd tingling of motivation on ketamine still.

Anyways this was just my two cents for this drug and my experiences with it. Take what I say with a grain of salt but I figured to comparison could be looked at as valuable information to some. I am not satisfied with calling nicotine and tobacco smoke a stimulant because its effects are far unlike any conventional stimulant and even paradoxical at times considering its anxiolytic and equilibrium altering effects. It's powerful dissociative effects from inhaling raw tobacco smoke in a user with no tolerance is also one to be noted in support of my theory. I am very interested in researching more about these experiences and seek to redefine the classification of nicotine and tobacco smoke in the drug world.

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 95987
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 15 
Published: Aug 25, 2022Views: 94
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Tobacco - Cigarettes (266) : Various (28), Glowing Experiences (4), Retrospective / Summary (11), General (1)

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