Citation: zaphod. "Discovering Motivation and Happiness: An Experience with Huasca Combo (Syrian Rue & Mimosa tenuiflora) (exp96085)". Erowid.org. Nov 14, 2020. erowid.org/exp/96085
3.5g Syrian Rue (Powdered in Gel Capsules)
10g Mimosa Hostilis Root Bark (Powdered and Extracted with Water/Vinegar/Egg-Whites)
My second Oral dimethyl tryptamine experience was a little more than I had bargained for. Somehow this seems to be the case with psychedelics too often, since the distortion of reality is something not most are accustomed to, especially when it rips apart reality the way only ayahuasca can. In a previous experience I had taken, orally and using the same Mimosa extraction, 2.5g Syrian Rue and 5g Mimosa, which I can describe as a euphorically relaxing experience without any visuals.
For the extraction 400 mL of tap water and 120 mL of 5% acetic acid (white vinegar) was simmered for 2 hours with 20g of Mimosa Hostilis Root Bark (powdered). (The intention was to take half the dose and save the other half for a future experience into the underworld of my cerebrum). The dark brown mixture was strained and squeezed through a piece of cotton cloth and returned to a sauce pan with 4 egg whites (should have used 6 instead). This removed the brown tannin, but not enough leaving a slightly brown liquid about 30 mL. The powdered Syrian Rue was placed in gelatin capsules.
It is about 2:30 in the afternoon on a beautiful day. My roommate is studying for an exam, and my girlfriend is at work. I just finished exams and decided to celebrate with a little experimentation, as my last experience, the night before, was very mild as mentioned above. I have to take 8 gelatin capsules of Syrian Rue to get the proper MAO inhibition, so I decide to wash down 2 pills at a time in 5 minute intervals with orange juice.
I’m watching a stupid show on TV and messing around on my laptop as I start to gulp down the mixture of half of my extracted Mimosa in tea with honey. Since I did not remove all the tannin the taste of the drink is near disgusting and leaves my mouth numb, but I take it down in three large gulps. I should have just used less tea with the small amount of 15 mL Mimosa extraction.
The trip quickly attacks me as it creeps into my body and starts making for my head. My perceptions quickly change and I begin to feel sick to my stomach, but in a very bearable way. I go to the bathroom where I can see in the mirror that I am indeed tripping because my features seem to be distorted, the background disappears and I’m smiling my ass off like an idiot. But then I bend over the toilet and puke out a small amount of brown liquid. This is when the trip decides to take off. I get the imminent feeling that I took too much and I begin to freak out. I can’t handle the moment and experience and my thoughts and do not help myself to focus on what is happening. Instead I am fearful and freaked out and keep telling myself “you took too much, you took too much”.
The tiles on the kitchen floor, where I had moved to now, take on patterns that aren’t obviously there and everything begins to have vapor trails. My roommate comes out of his room and sees that I am obviously freaked out. He has no idea what to do and asks me to let him know whether there is anything he could do. I am still freaked out by the fast and furious onset of this drug as I rush to the shotglass containing the other half of the extraction and toss it down the sink. I tell myself I never ever want to trip again.
I rush to the shotglass containing the other half of the extraction and toss it down the sink. I tell myself I never ever want to trip again.
My roommate asks me again whether there is anything he can do, and this is when I realize that I should just relaxing and go to bed. I lay in bed twitching and having fast racing circular thoughts. I need someone with me, but I can barely operate my phone. Luckily my girlfriend calls me then and I tell her what is going on in a very freaked out tone. She calms me down and tells me she will rush home after work to be with me. I thank her and this calms me down, after which I go to the bathroom for a second and final purge. She tells me later that day that she also texted my roommate to come check in on me every now and then for signs of life until she got back.
For an hour I am stuck in circular thought where I realize with a sigh that I am stuck in circular reasoning. I try to ask myself question of “why”. And specifically “why” I am who I am and “why” I do what I do. My motivations and resulting choices, such as doing this strong psychedelic. But I keep realizing that I return to circular reasoning.
“Circular reasoning works because circular reasoning works”. And this thought makes me sigh. It is both a revelation and a curse of the thinking process I am stuck in. I try to expand my circle of thought, but it still remains a circle. I am laying on my bed, to freaked out to open my eyes, and content with the dark place I am in alone. There are many patterns and dark thoughts in the forms of individuals approaching me from behind on either side present me with the option of exploring a darker region of my psyche. I do not feel ready to take on this part of myself and turn down their offer, as the individuals then move away from my side peripheral vision back to their haven of darkness.
I return to my circular reasoning when I my girlfriend walks in the door, sits down on the bed besides me and starts to calm me down. I give her a huge hug and tell her how much I love her and how sorry I am for not having told her that I was going to take this journey to my inner mind today. She only smiles, calms me down further and tells me it’s all going to be okay and that I should just have fun. This reminds me of what helped me bring this trip to a controllable point, the realization that I should have fun and enjoy the experience and learn from it, and only that way will it be a worthwhile experience.
The experience starts to slow down, and a new thought crosses my mind. Instead of “why” I move on to “how”, because I realize that I should move above the question of why and to true understanding of “how”. I am a biomedical scientist and this idea fits into my ideals, the understanding that I should aim to understand “how” something works and not “why”, because through the “how” the “why” may either be answered or precluded from consequence in the greater understanding of all. But, Mimosa teaches me one more important lesson: “I don’t know, but…”. This is the understanding that I must realize that I truly do not know anything, but I am willing to try to understand and explore “how” the world around me functions. This is not knowledge, but understanding on a level that aims to achieve knowledge.
I am calm enough to have conversations at this point. My girlfriend has fallen asleep for a nap. I go to my roommate and apologize for freaking him out and becoming such a crazy individual for a moment. I begin to talk to him about the experience and we chat for a while. My vision is still somewhat distorted. My movement leaves vapor trails and patterns affect my vision, but it is quickly dissipating.
I am normal again, whatever “normal” really is. Overall, even though I freaked out, I really enjoyed the experience and learned much about myself
Overall, even though I freaked out, I really enjoyed the experience and learned much about myself
and what makes me happy, as well as my motivations in life as well as what motivates my drug usage and pursuit of the “how” in biomedical sciences.
As for the drug usage, a slightly smaller dose would have been better, and with some others taking the experience with me as well. The extraction method is simple and brilliant, and if done right should eliminate the nausea and purge. I am to keep my eyes open on a future experience with oral DMT and to listen to music, as that is something that is integral to my life and happiness.
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