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A Fractal World
by endlessvertigo
Citation:   endlessvertigo. "A Fractal World: An Experience with Cannabis (exp96626)". Erowid.org. Jul 6, 2016. erowid.org/exp/96626

2 tablets oral Pharms - Fluoxetine (daily)
  1 cig. smoked Cannabis  


Although I've had many experiences with marijuana, some with ecstasy and other potentially 'soft' drugs, no experience of mine could ever match up to what I went through on the night of June 25th.

Me and my buddy H. Went by his place to roll up a joint and watch some cartoons, which is part of our weekly routine. This time though he told me about this new strain he got, which was supposedly... Mind-blowing. I was very excited and we ended up rolling a 4 gram spliff. H. Didn't smoke a lot, just took one puff, and I smoked all the rest. I wasn't aware that I was going to experience the most frightening and the most euphoric moments of my life all in one night.

At first, the usual 'screen' (kind of like a bugged TV screen with lots of colors blinking) I saw during daily life got stronger, and eventually the screen turned into an image. There was something odd about this image that I quite couldn't put my finger on. I decided to ignore it and watch some cartoons, but the image could be seen anywhere. It was blocking my vision. The image sort of looked like a circle inside a square inside another circle, and it had infinite colors and went onto infinity. The circle and the squares were wearing colorful hat-like structures.

After a few attempts at ignoring the image, I began falling into it. Reality was falling. And as I did, I realized the image was made up of billions, trillions of smaller versions of that image put together in different layers of reality. (Crazy, right?) I felt like I was going to die, that I was going to snap out of this reality and transfer into another one. I was falling, for layers, and layers and it wouldn't stop.
I was falling, for layers, and layers and it wouldn't stop.
That was the most terrifying part of the trip. I couldn't stop the falling no matter how much I tried. Reality always ended up separating and I was falling into a black pit.

After about 30 minutes I decided I'd had enough and that I wanted to go home. With great difficulty, I made it to a taxi but sounded surprisingly eloquent as I told the driver the directions to my house. As the taxi was moving forward, reality was moving forward with it. I was no longer falling down, I was moving forward, at an incredible speed. My heart was beating fast, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. It wasn't as bad as the falling feeling, but it was still somewhat frightening.

When I got home, I opened the lights, I laid down on my bed and decided to record my thoughts. I felt like I understood everything, and I could link every single dream in my past to what I was seeing right now, I felt like my dreams were explanations to why the universe is the way it is and vice versa. I could find an explanation for anything and everything. I saw the string theory, I experienced the fractal theory, I went through thousands of layers of reality. It was the happiest I'd ever been, thinking I know the answer to why we are here. I could visualize all the dimensions and the shape they took... It was amazing. The most beautiful feeling. I had found what the meaning of life is, for me.

I decided I'd go to sleep with this knew-found knowledge, but the falling feeling came back when I closed the lights. It felt like the light was what would pull me up into happiness, understanding and that darkness would send me to the pits of hell, the falling feeling, which was hell. The big drop. To death. I comforted myself by repeating a single thought: 'There always is a surface to fall on. It is a circle. It is endless. Even if you die, you will wake up and fall on something.' I managed to go to sleep after that.

In the end, it was a life-changing experience. Beautiful, frightening. Full of mixed emotions. I truly hope a lot of people get to experience feelings similar to mine.

Exp Year: 2012ExpID: 96626
Gender: Not Specified 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jul 6, 2016Views: 1,920
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Cannabis (1) : Difficult Experiences (5), Glowing Experiences (4), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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