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Teetering on the Edge While Being Attacked
Citation:   Justlooking529. "Teetering on the Edge While Being Attacked: An Experience with DMT (exp96739)". Erowid.org. Jan 16, 2019. erowid.org/exp/96739

75 mg smoked DMT (powder / crystals)
This is will be a combination and summary of 2 different trips of the same dose, leading me to the same place. So I'll start off with a little background I suppose. Since I was 15 I was always fascinated with DMT and its power, but never able to find it until very recently. I have a pretty large psychedelic history, as well as a good center of being a self consciousness, so I felt more than prepared at this.

Prior to this experience, I've had about 3 sub-breakthrough experiences with DMT, and one other 'breakthrough' that was very different to this one, all in the past 6 weeks. I also educated myself to the fullest about the substance, searching for it's meaning via Tool, Terrence McKenna, The Spirit Molecule, etc. So at this point, I was all about finding and obtaining the massive amounts of knowledge that DMT can offer me about bettering/ controlling my consciousness, life, existence, and afterlife. I spent about 10 minutes meditating on what I wanted to gain from the experience, and got ready to go. I had about 300mg of freebase, and loaded about 75mg into my pipe.

1 massive hit, breath it out, everything starts to bend. Take a second massive hit, close my eyes, and am instantly flooded with very intense CEVs. Breath out, open eyes, take third huge hit finishing the dose, with the help of my brother.

Gone. Everything starts to bend and shake excessively, from my body to the objects around me. I close my eyes, and see total darkness. I'm no longer in my room, or anywhere really. In my past experiences I was sent to a place I knew as 'DMT hyperspace' where everything was made up of the same color-changing, shape changing, fabric like liquid that formed different worlds or objects, beings or even myself.

This time, I also saw that same world for a short time, and immediately found a 'center'. As I some how 'zoomed' in to the center point, it was the most magnificent, impossible, surreal object I had ever seen. It was an impossible morphing cube shaped object, made up of physically impossible geometric shapes and patterns, with different impossible shapes and patterns within them, and so on and so fourth.

As I'm looking at this object, after about what seemed like 2-3 seconds, I had a realization that I shouldn't be being mystified by this thing because its trying to distract me, but to look past it and see. Bingo... The remainder of the experience after this is still coming back to me in bits and pieces, so I will connect it all the best I can here.

The next thing I can remember was seeing a giant spiral shaped structure, made out of that same material that seemed to go down forever. I then instantly felt a presence enter me, and 'open communication' so to speak. I found myself flying towards the top of the spiral, or 'entrance'. I was now face to face with the entrance, and then I somehow started rapid firing questions at this other consciousness; 'what is it?' no answer. 'do I have to make it?' 'no'. 'do I have to eat it?' 'no' 'touch it?' 'no' 'be it?' 'no'. Then it hit me... 'I have to go in it?!' 'YES!!!!!!' Now the way it was communicating wasn't though words, but some type of buzzing. The 'No' was like a boring 'buzzzz' and the yes was a super clear, loud 'BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ' that was filled with such excitement and urgency, that I almost jumped in right there.

But that I wondered and asked 'What's in there?' no answer but a feeling of disappointment. So I started to look closer for myself, and try and see whats inside. I couldn't see down the spiral, but I did see what it appeared to be. Evil. Everything about it was evil, I could see evil, perverted things going on inside of it, some type of greater beings abusing people in the worst and sickest ways, including myself.

I was then faced with a choice, listen to 'them', go in, and see for myself, or refuse whatever lay in store for me and leave this place. I sat on the verge for quiet a while, unable to decide. As I was thinking, I could feel extreme anger, hate and evil building every second. And then, suddenly I was somewhere else. All the light was turned on and the darkness was pulled away. As crazy as this sounds, Everything I explained thus far in my trip, existed in a little impossible cube of its on, on the bottom of the 'shoe' of some greater control force who was 'stepping' on me, thus blinding my vision with the 'distraction' I had explained earlier.

An immediate sense of infancy, inferiority and worthlessness came over me as I realized that my whole world is no more than a spec on the bottom of 'someone's' shoe, and that they have the power to control any and everything about me. They were pretty human looking, obviously much bigger, but I cant remember any of their faces. They were all really angry with me, and I could see them all 'flying' around and abusing my 'body' in the most perverted and sadistic ways. They were REALLY mad with me, and the only feeling I could get from them was evil and punishment. At this point I started to lose myself in my fear, as my every horror was being displayed right infront of me.

I then started to fight, and look away. They grabbed me, and were trying to physically force me into some kind of container, and shut the door forever. I fought and fought, and they pushed and pushed on the lid trying to close it. Eventually I suppose I was stronger as they couldn't close it completely. At this point, I seemed to remember that I came here on my own will, and using that will I should have control. I opened my eyes and whispered out loud 'break out of the box'. I was returned to my room, where I saw those beings moving around as wisps, extremely fast, trying to pull me back. I looked at the clock to see how much time had gone by, and almost couldn't believe that it has only been 4 minutes. Then the minutes melted off the clock. Time didn't matter, reality, space, the world, none of it mattered, they had me now... They were breaking my reality in front of my eyes, shattering my world. Breaking everything in my room, killing everyone, abusing my body laying on the bed, and trying to shut my eyes and 'steal' me away again. They were attacking me in the most spiritual and invasive way.

Eventually they succeeded, and my eyes were forced shut. I was instantly back in the container, but this time instead of trying to close it on it, they were reaching in, grabbing my face, and forcing me to look, physically turning my head to the right. Until I was facing the bottom of the box, and I saw another one of them holding a little ball of blackness, which essential contained the impossible shapes and the spiral structure from before, and trying to force it in my face. They wanted me IN that spiral, and as the others were holding me, he tried to then force me inside of it, force it over my face and completely put me inside of it.

I kept fighting and they got my head fully inside, of which I remember nothing. But I wouldn't allow myself to surrender to them, I wouldn't give up. Eventually I guess their time with me was up, and the attack suddenly stopped. They let go, stopped, and all just started staring at me very angrily, as if saying 'We BETTER not see you again...' And then I was back.

This was absolutely the most intense experience of my life, and I find myself questioning If I will ever use DMT again. I got a couple strong messages out of this experience, and one of them is that using our free will, we are supreme. Nothing can control or take that away from you.

I think somehow I may have seen past the typical 'DMT hyperspace', and saw who was controlling it. I do not think this is a substance that I should be using, unless I become a devoted shaman or such and are willing to tamper with my very own soul. This IS the food for the Gods. The infinite knowledge and power of the universe and all things living is undeniably there, and I'm sure if I would have gone into the spiral instead of fighting that I would have been beyond mystified, but that isn't for me. The price at which that comes with is being completely at the will of those DMT entities, and the one's that I encountered most definitely had the evilest of intentions. Everything they are showing me is a distraction being forced in my face so I can't see them and what there really doing.

I also belie that after death, when the DMT is released in my brain, and my spirit is released from my body, that's when I will see all of the answers and knowledge that my forcing upon myself with DMT use. As the human's that I am, I can not possible contain all knowledge of all beings. Again, that is not for me.

I gained more insight out of this experience than I could have imagined, and feel 10000x happier to be grounded on earth than ever before. I am excited to finish my college education and can't wait for what the futuare has instore for me, more so in this lifetime than anything else.

Exp Year: 2012ExpID: 96739
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Jan 16, 2019Views: 1,057
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DMT (18) : Difficult Experiences (5), Mystical Experiences (9), Entities / Beings (37), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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