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A Living Hell But I Loved It
by Mary
Citation:   Mary. "A Living Hell But I Loved It: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp9680)". Jul 8, 2005.

1.0 g insufflated Methamphetamine (daily)
I was first turned on to crank in the late 80's when i was a teenager. I remember thinking, 'I want to feel this way for the rest of my life!'. I started out just doing a line or two on weekends, then after I was married my husband got hooked up with a dealer and we soon started selling. Well with all that crank in the house the world was my oyster! I stayed up for days at a time, went gambling all the time and spent way too much money. I soon lost my job and the desire to do anything but tweak out in my house. I was doing a gram a day at this point, my weight had plummeted and my hair was falling out. I was not a healthy sight. I picked at my skin constantly and smoked like a fiend. Paranoia was constant. I remember locking myself in the bathroom upstairs on time and putting duct tape over the windows because I thought people could see me.

After about 5 years of this crap going on we finally started getting away from dealing and I decided to get a job. I used off and on for the next 5 years or so and now have been clean for about 6 months. I cannot describe fully how my life has been altered by this drug. There is just no way to describe it properly. I was a walking shell of a human being for over 10 years of my life, and I don't know if I will ever get over it.

Exp Year: 2001ExpID: 9680
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 8, 2005Views: 10,128
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Methamphetamine (37) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

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