DOSE:

3 hits

smoked

DMT

(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

210 lb

At this point in my drug career I mainly had used mushrooms (minimum of three grams) and LSD. The experiences from these substances had driven me to research hallucinogens very extensively. Long story short I knew that DMT would be my end-game, if you will, for tripping. An entire year I spent looking up anything I could find on the subject. And that entire year was also filled with failed attempts to find this majestic molecule. I had basically given up all hope of finding it.

An old friend of mine called me up one night saying she was coming into town and had bought me a late birthday present, two hits of DMT. I had zero nervousness about finally getting this, and sat around like a child on christmas eve waiting for my gift. When she arrived, knowing my tendancy to push drugs, warned me that the capsule contained two hits and should not be smoked at once. Bit of small talk, and finally got her to leave, went upstairs and dumped the capsule in my bowl which was previously half smoked (weed). The crystals where light brown and not crushed up at all.

Mind State
Nothing but respectful excitement, I'm ready, have done my homework, was in a very good place emotionally. The bit of unsatisfaction from my previous trips made me ready to actually reach 'the next level'. And I was just hoping I was 'worthy'.


Preparation
Cleared out a big space on the floor, glass of water, my roomates were gone out to the bars, had my dream/tripping journal opened to a fresh page with a pen ready to go. Put on one of my favorite tripping songs (STS9 Oh Little Brain, for those who know).

First hit
Didn't get much smoke as I was very concerned with touching the flame to the crystals. But I held it in as long as possible (about one minute). Exhale. The spinning design on my pipe began growing down my arm, the room began to pulsate. Nothing new really for me.

Second hit
Much bigger hit, my lungs are full and my mouth, throat, and lungs are burning. From my research I knew that holding it in would be worth the pain a thousand fold. Now in the movie the Matrix, the scene where they are in a white 'space' and every part of the room comes flying in piece by piece until the room is whole. Well this was happening to me backwards. Couch gone, fan gone, ceiling gone. Everything in the room dissappeared very quickly until it was me, my pipe, and my window, everything else was just black space with stars. All of this happened within a second after exhaling. I began coughing wildly, starting to loose all motor functions, pouring water all over my face and mouth trying to cool off my throat. 'No, hit it again, this window is very small and if you want to get there you need to hit it one more time at least'. I thought to myself. I remember looking at my pipe not knowing what a pipe was.

Third Hit
Can't see anything, everything is layered on top of itself 10000000 times, so I burn my hand until I realize I'm lighting the DMT again. Couldn't do it correctly so I torched it. This resulted in a gigantic hit, but I held it in as long as I could. Thinking that I forgot to breathe, and my body wouldn't do it. My thoughts were being destroyed, nothing made even the slightest bit of sense. So I exhaled and layed down. NOTE: I remember the song stopping right before the build up.

The trip
My window became a waterfall, there was a sense that I had only one choice, to go through it or stay. So I went, I knew that once tripping the slightest resistance on your part at the wrong time can stop the trip in its tracks. Once I made this decision I opened my eyes, and there was ZERO difference. I saw my hands and noticed I had about 30 fingers on each one. Then I watched myself leave my own body. I was looking down at my body on the floor. But I felt myself (the body on the floor) take a breath. This was the first one I had taken since exhaling.

At this point I left the dimension of time. This is why it is hard to explain linearly. I KNEW I had died. I watched my friends come home find my body, and ridicule me for doing drugs, and that I finally had died. I watched the cops come in and take my body away. So I had this thought 'well no sense going back there'. Then as a zoom in on google Earth goes from seeing the entire planet down to a single house. I was flying up from my house up to space while looking down at the Earth. It was pure bliss. No worries, no understanding of what worrying is. There wasn't even the thought of 'finally' or 'I made it' it just was so familiar nothing even startled me in any way, for now.

The Door
At the top of the Earth, I saw a white pulsating door, with colored lights and music shooting out of it. I went into this door. The logic I had at this point was this was my own brain. It was full of people flying around every which way. So I just jumped in and flew with them. After some 'time' I stopped and asked someone 'hey is this real' they responded in a very loving, concerned, and *talking to a child* type of way 'I'm sorry thats the wrong question, we'll see you again'. Boom hyperspeed all the way back down to my body.

ReEmergence
So I'm back in my body, it was slightly relieving. Walls are full of patterns, and then the song kicked back in exactly where it had left off. As in all of the above had happened in 0.00000000000000000000000000001 seconds. I closed my eyes and held on to the last bit of visual stimulation while smiling in the new found peace that had returned with me. Then I reached over to begin writing all of this down (very good way to remember trips) and to my amazement it was full back and front already. There is no way I had the motor functions or mental capacity to write anything, let alone create a thought. This was the only disturbing (confusing may be a better term) part of the experience. This was not quite my hand writing or normal grammar. But somehow something filled out this page.

Most of what was written I keep to myself because I figured out very quickly and painfully that people do not like to hear these things. Your crazy, your just on drugs, your brain is fried is the typical response to the fear I can see in people eyes for not having a rational answer to this.

Here are a few passages from this mysterious paper
1. Everyone gets there
2. No such things as mistakes, only slowing down
3. The absolute non-judged love is perfect-perfect
4. Colors are alive
5. The universe contains itself, each molecule that makes it up uniformly shares within itself the entire universe
6. Time is a restriction
7. Next time try your hardest to give way, Don't spend your time watching the tunnel instead of following it. Do not try to guide.
8. Beyond thoughts and dreams (for now)
9. The veil is very thin, and you are in the same 'place', it is just above a physical level. Your light body is released and instantly dissolved
10. It will be amazing
11. Love is ALL YOU NEED

That is exactly how they are written. There are also a few diagrams, but I'll keep those for myself.

I tried for a long time to find more DMT, but they were all of less quality and I feared it was creating a disrespect for 'it'. It should be noted that I have never found brown DMT since then.

I always will wonder what could of been if I had not asked that question. Leaving the dimension of time is a beautiful experience, but makes for the returning to it an unwanted chore.

See ya there

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 96825
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Jan 7, 2019	Views: 796
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DMT (18) : General (1), First Times (2), Alone (16)