Citation: cryptix420. "Fear, Loathing in California: An Experience with 25I-NBOMe & AMT (exp97086)". Erowid.org. Sep 18, 2012. erowid.org/exp/97086
||(blotter / tab)
||(powder / crystals)
So, I think quite a bit of background information is going to be necessary in order to make this trip report worthy of itself. This trip happened about a week ago, so I will recall the details as best I can. I do not think it will be very difficult, given the nature of the experience.
Info about me, I'm a 22 year old male, I am very passionate about health (I would go as far to say healing Earth's inhabitants is my Dharma) and thus lead a very healthy lifestyle (at least as far as what I eat/exercise...the drug use is debatable). I take a number of supplements daily, including fish oil, ginkgo biloba, gotu kola, eleuthero, nopal cactus (for my overactive thyroid...works miracles), bacopa, cordyceps sinenses, reishi mushroom, and leading up to this experience I was on a regimen of 1-3g aniracetam daily for about 3 weeks (intermittent alpha GPC supplementation as well), and the night of this trip I received my order of noopept in the mail, which I dosed quite piggishly, not owning a proper mg scale to weigh it. I had also consumed kratom on the night of this experience. I have recently kicked a 4 year everyday cannabis habit, of which today marks 53 days clean! Feels good man. I have used a wide variety of substances in my 4 years of altered consciousness exploring, things like LSD, mushrooms, MDMA, salvia, DXM, ketamine, nitrous, 2c-alphabet, DMT, DOx compounds, and various pharmaceuticals.
On to the background story! I broke up with my girlfriend (whom I had lived with for over 2 years, and gone through quite a bit of traumatic life situations with) one month ago. This coincided with me starting a new job, and moving into a new apartment; more or less starting a new life. This all was much more possible because of a new figure in my life, we will call him Ralph.
Ok, I am going to be completely open here, this is a trip report and I want to be completely straight up about everything going on. I had met Ralph on craigslist, in a sex-for-money situation. In my drug induced haze, I was extremely lazy, and realized I could get by in life by selling my body (in the name of all that is Holy, I DO NOT recommend this, EVER, it is extremely psychologically damaging). So I posted an ad, Ralph replied, we met up, and he seemingly had a lot of money to throw around. Our relationship stayed this way through about 4 or 5 different encounters; we would meet up, have sex, and I would receive a sum of cash. Prostitution. Bleh. Moving on!
Time went on, and the relationship between Ralph and I began to evolve. I use the word 'evolve' as I feel it implies the relationship growing from something rather brutish and disgusting in nature, into something much more fulfilling and healthy (more on that later). See, Ralph really did seem like a good soul, and I still believe today that this fact holds true. We developed into a more 'father & son' type of relationship. He would always listen when I wanted to vent or bitch, and he had a ton of wisdom to share. I had never had a good father figure, so it was all extremely welcome in my life. We decided that the sex had to stop in order for this kind of relationship to flourish, and so it has ceased and we have had zero sexual contact since those early days (keep in mind I have no reason to lie here). My girlfriend at the time (who I was very open with about all the prostituting..we would call it 'work' i.e....'did you work today? …yeah..and then we would proceed to buy groceries or more often marijuana with the money) began to be very suspicious of my relationship with Ralph, and for good reason I suppose. She knew we'd had sex, and that's difficult in itself. My relationship with my girlfriend (now ex...) was on rocky ground to say the least.
I had decided to quit smoking weed, and she would have no part of it. Our life was simply falling apart. We'd fought so long and hard to get where we were, but still had so little to show (or so I thought). Needless to say, when something major within a relationship changes like drug use, it causes some tension. This was on top of the constant tension from 4 roommates and 3 barking, shitting, pissing dogs. I was also unemployed going on 12 months, and with the sudden option of all of Ralph's money, leaving the girlfriend was finally a real option that I'd dreamed about for a long time. I'd told my girlfriend for a long time that when I got a job I would be outta there with a lightning quickness.
About 2-3 weeks into my sobriety, I got a job (!! imagine that) and proceeded forward with plans to move into a new place and be a single man. Things broke into a physical fight (she was hitting me) and that was the night I knew I'd had enough and started packing my things. The cool thing about being a so called hippie drug addict is that all your stuff fits pretty easily into a suitcase & a couple trash bags. So the next morning, Ralph booked me into a hotel for the week until I could move into my new place on the 1st of the month (had to wait for the last roommate to move her things out). Of course, Ralph was there the whole time, talking me though it, being the shoulder to cry on, giving me money to eat/live, and helping me prepare for my new job. (Ralph is over 50 years old, seems important to note that).
So, getting closer to the night of the trip, communication with my ex-gf was virtually non-existent, save the occasionally stabby email or a couple pithy texting fights, 'you're a piece of shit and a soulless bastard' ahh the whole ex-gf thing. Ralph has still been financially supporting me throughout all this, paying for my rent as well as food & clothing. Ralph had come to town (he lives about 4 hours away) in part [or entirely] to escape the stressors of his workplace/marriage. He doesn't live with his wife, but they have been married for 20+ years and have been having difficulties. They run a business together, and she is a lifetime opiate addict, currently being on her 'much lower' dosage of 30mg of oxycodone a day, down from what was once 240mg+ in a day. It's amazing what the human body can withstand. There's also a bunch of firings and other stuff going down, adding to the stress of his business. Ralph has only had one psychedelic experience prior to this, and it was with me and a very low dosage of smoked DMT, barely threshold. I had extracted the DMT with a friend so who knows how strong/weak it was, it was the full spectrum kind though, had a red color. Jungle spice. He told me he saw himself as a child on this trip, and felt it opened the door for him to begin doing inner work to heal the sexual abuse he had experienced as a child. This experience was several months ago.
The night of the trip: Ralph had gotten a nice hotel room, and we'd done some errands & grocery shopping, and the topic of tripping came. He was very open to it, I think more in an escapism sort of spirit rather than some real therapeutic reason. I had 2C-B, and let him insufflate ~10mg. He had a very intense come up, talked about the carpet coming alive (remember your first visuals? I don't but it was cool as hell getting to witness someone else's), and was going about the hotel room from being in the fetal position to staring out the window at the landscape, saying random bits that didn't really make sense, something about bugs, I don't really know. He greatly enjoyed the visual aspect, but upon coming down stated that he was sad it was over and had hoped to gain more (or have all his life problems solved) from the experience. I should also note here Ralph was a hardcore alcoholic in the past, if I properly understand his stories of being drunk in Russia for 33 consecutive days and the like.
I was very much down to indulge in a night of tripping, given that the sober lifestyle can become a bit of a bore sometimes, and I had a large stash of psychotropics in my apartment. We went and picked up some 25i-NBOMe blotters and some aMT. We headed back to the hotel, after stopping at the store to grab some bottled water & chewing gum. I'd never tried the aMT and wasn't quite sure what to expect. I brought one capsule containing 33mg (weighed and given to me by a friend) it appeared white and salt like in appearance, with no odor. The 25i was on blotters estimated at about ~1mg each (prior trips would support this theory). We also took some caffeine via yerba mate, some aniracetam, and some noopept.
We got back to the hotel, this is around 10pm. We each ate what looked like 1/3 of the aMT (so ~10mg each) and stuck 3 of the blotters on our gums ( ~3mg each of 25i). I knew we were in for something hardcore, as I was getting visuals at the half hour mark. Strong visuals. 25i usually takes a good two hours to start manifesting for me, so this was somewhat frightening. Ralph claimed he was bummed and he was having nothing happen yet (lol n00b), but I reassured him and advised he just wait before taking more. The best I could do I suppose after risking both our lives combining a new, extremely potent, unknown psychedelic with a soviet anti-depressant known for having a dark side.
I was feeling the effects coming on uncomfortably hard, so I suggested we go lay down. Once we laid down, Ralph realized how hard he was also tripping. VISUALS. Visuals of the like I have never even imagined to be possible for one to experience, this was b.a.l.l.s. o.u.t. tripping. Keep in mind we are not even an hour into the trip at this point. I could see my entire soul/energy/aura being expelled into the room. Vibrant colors of maroon/pink, turquoise, and yellow (concurrent with my past trips with LSD/25i..I always see these colors) all pulsating, no, rippling is a better word. It was like rings emanating from my being, one layer of rings pinkish, then bluish, then yellow, and on and on in that patters. WAVES of energy coming out of me. I had tried to explain this sort of thing to Ralph before, how psychedelics enabled one to actually SEE energy, but now he was really getting the point! Here is where things began to take a somewhat sinister turn.
My ex-girlfriend (a recurring thought in this trip) popped into my head. She had always told me that Ralph was simply trying to break us up so he could have me all to himself, and I was an idiot for not seeing it. I always whole-heartedly denied it, thinking Ralph had only the purest intentions (naive I suppose). I realized at this moment that there might be some truth to it. Here I was, cut off from her, in his hotel room, completely under his...what word do I use? Well, he definitely had me all to himself, and it couldn't be in a more intense way. Once this thought came up, there was no ignoring it. I even saw the energy between Ralph and myself, it started very colorful and we were one person at our feet, but then moving up it started to split and we became separate entities where the unsaid things lie. The sexual tension so to speak. I confronted him on this issue, albeit hesitantly, considering all he has helped me with. Despite anything else, he sincerely has offered much wisdom and helped me achieve a huge amount of personal/spiritual growth. He initially denied that there was any truth to what I was saying.
This is where shit really started getting sick & twisted. He began putting out negative energy towards me (I don't know if he was whispering negative phrases, I think that's what was happening), and I could see each wave of energy coming from his body and feel its negative impact. I told him 'I know what you are doing. I feel the negative energy you are putting out. I can literally SEE it. and it HURTS.' After this, Ralph looked around, and compared the waves of negative energy he was putting out to the rest of the energy in the room. He stated 'I can't believe you're putting out ALL THIS' somewhat implying the powerful energy of my soul, if I can be so obtuse. We could literally see all this around us, it was as tangible as this keyboard I am typing on. No space, just nothing but pure energy. It was a very intense state of existence.
We thought it might be good to go for a walk at this point. The energy in the room was simply too much to handle. These issues that had come up were extremely sensitive, and we were also in very delicate, near psychotic states of mind. Once outside, we looked about at the visuals for a little, and then the issues represented themselves. I asked him straight up if there was truth to any of what my ex-girlfriend had claimed for so long. He had to walk away and sat in his car after I confronted him with this. After getting out of the car, he walked over to me, and proceeded to lie his ass off. I could not have seen through him more clearly than you can see through saran wrap on leftover spaghetti. I am very good at reading people, and this sense was heightened to an extreme. All the classic signs of lying (looking to the left, covering the face, etc.) as he told me 'There is NOTHING true about ANY of that' I told him to his face I could see right through him. I knew he was lying. He continued to try and lie, and he is a very good liar, but not THAT good.
When it came down to it, he simply asked me how I could tell? I tried to describe the micro expressions that were magnified as they made their way through the energy between us and into my eye, I could just pick up on the TINIEST things. I am not trying to sound arrogant, but I don't know how to describe this very well. It reminds of the TV show 'lie to me' if you've ever watched it. Once he knew I could not be fooled, we kind of moved on past talking about my ex. I told him I know I must take responsibility, as I did do the breaking up and our relationship had its faults (like any) but the issue was definitely not resolved. I had seen a very dark side of Ralph come out that I never knew existed. We stood up, and as I looked at him I could see DECADES of stifled energy SCREAMING to get out of every crack and crevice it could possible escape from. You see, Ralph is a closeted homosexual, and missed out on his whole youth of sexuality by living lie. Then getting married, trying to do what was right I suppose, just led to a lifetime of the real Ralph being suffocated and completely deprived of existing. I cannot describe in words the intensity of this energy coming out of him. The LOOK in his eyes!! My god!! The like I have NEVER seen in a man's eyes.
I stated how crazy it was that this whole ex-gf was exploding out of me, and it was only a few months of stifled emotion. I told him I can't imagine years of it. He just looked at me, and his lip was quivering the most utmost sadness and a tear in his eyes. This is still while all this energy is just coming out of him, like one of those surprise jack-in-a-box toys. The energy had found an outlet, and it was not going to stop.
We walked back up to the hotel room, and it was just a completely different air. Our relationship had changed, permanently. Honesty seems to have that effect, whether for better or worse. Even walking up the stairs to the room, I felt some weird vibe, like he knew for sure sex was never going to happen again, and walking behind me up the stairs didn't have quite the same excitement anymore. This could also have just been my tripping brain at work. We got back into the hotel room, and it could not have been more...stale. We had said a lot, but really worked through nothing. Being back in the room was like suffocating. He went to lie down on the bed, and I lingered in the front room for a bit. I felt like being in a different room than him, but I went against it and went into the room after him, perhaps imagining we would have some productive discussion.
Things at this point are a bit hazy. There was a very tense air in the room. I almost want to go as far as to say there was some level of non-verbal, psychic communication occurring between us at this point. The details are muddy here, but I will do my best. There was some back and forth thought about Ralph snapping, in a psychotic way. He had made several comments about he was just 'ready for it all to end' and other suicidal/end of life sort of statements. First, I feared Ralph was, quite literally, giving up on life, and was going to die in front of my eyes. He had a very pale look and I was fucking terrified at what might happen and what I would do if the worst occurred. He seemed very psychotic, for lack of a better word, but who am I to talk? (a little background I forgot to include here...Ralph is quite avid about personal firearm possession. Self defense or whatever the fuck he tries to call it. He has made comments since I have known him [in joking or passing or what have you] about being a very good shot with a gun, about all his outings with his wife to the shooting range, just general quips about firearms that are in retrospect quite disturbing).
At this point I felt something passed between our mind-connection, something along the lines of how fast he could flip into a killer, that this man was really a fucking KILLER and had this insane personality I had never even been aware of. I swear I remember him saying out loud 'silence is deafening' which sent me on a dark thought train thinking of him pulling out a silenced pistol from the dresser drawer and killing me with nobody ever knowing the better. He had taken the one person out of my life who truly loved me, and here I was, in his hotel room, with the 'do not disturb' on the door, and he was going to fucking kill me. The tension was unbelievable. I asked him...'are you going to murder me???' to which he exclaimed 'why would I wanna murder you?! I thought YOU were gonna murder ME!!' At this point I felt the insanity was obvious and I had to get the fuck OUT OF THERE. There was a moment of 'the dots connecting' so to speak, and this whole elaborate plot (or so I thought) became obvious to me.
I got up, and ran out of the hotel room as fast as I possibly could. I sprinted down the hallway, and heard him opening the door to come after me (later he told me he looked out and only barely saw me as I turned the corner, wondering what he had said/done to make me leave) this furthered scared the shit out of me, and I began running for my life. I think I screamed for help a couple times while running down this flight of stairs (of course we were on the top floor) and eventually made my way to the bottom and outside. I stopped in the lobby to desperately try and call my ex-girlfriend, to no avail, the guy at the desk looked at me like I was a lunatic when I told him someone in the hotel was trying to murder me. I was obviously whacked out of my mind I guess. I sprinted away from the hotel, literally running for my life. I felt so stupid!! Like all this progress in my life had been nothing but a bunch of bullshit, I couldn't believe I had been so naive to believe this man was actually trying to help me, when really it was just a sick plot to murder me and then end his own life. (I know how crazy this must all sound...believe me I still can barely make heads or tails of the experience. These are powerful substances.)
It was probably around 1am at this point. I was putting as much distance between myself and Ralph as possible. At first, I thought I had heard a gunshot, and imagined that Ralph had killed himself. I live near the coast, so there was a lighthouse in my visibility for several minutes after leaving the hotel. It has a blue and red light that spin around, which sent me into a whole other string of sinister thoughts & hallucinations. I imagined how they had purposefully put those colors of lights on the light house, to keep people in check, as they reminded me of a cop car each time they flashed. I was seeing all of these cops pull up in the businesses and parking lots I was coming towards, I saw a whole line of police lining up in front of, as if I was a hostage being released from a high intensity situation, like you see in the movies. When I came closer though, none of these things were real. My god though, I believed all those police were there. At first I ran into the bushes, trying to sneak past what I thought were all these cops, as I just wanted to get to my ex-girlfriend or a phone to call her and didn't want to be taken in custody (arrested by hallucinations, that would be a new one. I have been arrested a few times for marijuana related offenses, probably a large contributor to the nature of the fear I was experiencing).
All of a sudden all these businesses, even the Carl's Jr. and the gas station, transformed into what I thought were secret government operations. Ralph has planned it perfectly I thought, so even when I tried to run I would encounter all this resistance, knowing I am fearful of government authority. I stopped at the smaller gas station that had a friendly vibe and asked the guy at the red box to use his cellphone. I called my ex and got her voicemail (understandably...) so I left her a message telling her I loved her, that she was right all along about Ralph and that I didn't know what the fuck was going on, but I loved her. I told her I thought I was going to be killed, and I was dead serious. I then left and began my voyage to....well I don't know where I was going. I was just getting away from Ralph. I stopped at an ATM to try and withdraw as much money as I could, but the ATM required my ID for the amount I was trying to take out, and as such I could not get any money out.
At this time, I began running again. It frightened me to realize how dependent on Ralph I had become. It was some comfort to know I have a good job, but that job alone could not support my current lifestyle. I began running again (also I left the hotel barefoot so I was hobbit style the entire night) and was more or less in a drug-induced, psychotic, frenzied panic. I began shedding everything that reminded me of Ralph; the jeans I had on that he had bought me (with my apartment key inside no less), the glasses which I depended on to see properly, even the nice shirt he had gotten me that same day. I was out in the middle of the night, ind the middle of town, in my boxers and a white t-shirt. This seemed somewhat inconsequential at the time, as I was sure I was going to be killed. Realizing that I still had not put enough distance between us, I had the thought 'I must really run for my life right now. How much effort I put forth into this is showing me how much my life is worth to me.'
So I ran faster than I ever have in my 22 years of existence. Everything turned to a blur around me, I could hear the wind rushing past my ears and into my mouth which was gasping for air, everything far in the distance became extremely clear and I sprinted like a fucking Olympic athlete. Once I felt I could go no more, I slowed down. I felt I had seriously fucked up my leg, and my body was starting to feel spent. My leg was in so much discomfort I could no longer run, I had to hobble along. I didn't notice until hours later when I finally stopped that I actually had a huge gash in the heel of both of my feet, who knows what the hell I stepped on. Each time a car would drive by, I would hit the deck, fearing it was Ralph in his car coming to kill me, sniper-assassin style. I felt I could see the laser pointer coming from his gun every time I would see a red light, each time just waiting for it all to end, wondering what death was going to be like, feeling so sad for all that I hadn't accomplished and knowing I could have done so much more in this life had I simply put forth the effort!! All this time I had everything I needed inside of me to succeed, I'd just been lazing around half-assing everything my whole life, wasting all of this potential, wasting the precious gift of life given to me by the Universe.
At one point, I came into an area where I could hear a lot of frogs ribbiting. It reminded me of earlier in the day, when Ralph had told me he'd had tons of warts in his lifetime. I joked, asking if he'd kissed too many frogs. I felt I had an epiphany, and knew that frogs were not a friend of Ralph's, and I could seek comfort with them. I stopped and crouched down on one knee, and the most beautiful thing happened. I began communicating with nature, I became one with the frogs! When I would consciously put out positive energy from my being, I could hear and feel the ribbiting grow louder, stronger, more melodic, more happy. I realized how much our energy affects everything around us, and how important it is to be positive. I don't feel like I'm doing a great job describing this part, because it was very profound for me. I became a 100% believer in spirituality at this point. I realized the Universe is giving us cues and messages all the time, always talking to us, all we have to do is listen, just pay attention. Whether it's dreams, birds chirping, or simply the beautiful flowers on your walk to work, it all means something. I have never felt so in touch with nature, and I've always considered myself the hippie type who loved the outdoors and all things to do with Mother Earth, but this was a whole new level of realizing how connected we all are. Humans, trees, the sun, the frogs, the grass, ALL of it. We are all one.
After spending some time with the frogs, I began walking again. I started to notice all these ways the Earth was a part of my trip. I swear every emotion I was feeling was in sync with something around me. The street lights flashing or the signs on the crosswalk, all the animal sounds, every little movement took on so much more meaning. I experienced an incredible feeling of absolute love wash over me. As I was walking, something about the way the visuals and everything were coming together made me think of how we have evolved over such an incredibly long period of time to become these sentient, unique, intelligent, imperfect beings having this Earthly experience. It is such a gift!! I thought about all my imperfections in a positive light for the first time ever. I have a nervous tic where I blink my left eye much more than my right (it comes and goes, I'm not quite sure what causes it), and it just causes a lot of distress for me. But at this moment, it was different!!
I saw myself as this completely unique human being, this energy force that had punched though the cosmic barrier, just for a little while, to have this human experience. When one punches through this energy barrier, it is bound to be imperfect. We are going to have the weather the storm we call life, and there will be much pain and resistance. Resistance and friction is the nature of the universe, the nature of things to push back, I'm not sure if I'm getting this across well lol so bear with me. There was something in my mind thinking how I had come through this barrier, and that because of the way that it happens, there had to be balance to it. There had to be 'another half'. I don't quite know what got me to thinking this, I just felt that we really all do have a soulmate, that other 50% to us. I wish I remembered it more clearly, but alas, some of the most profound moments of trips are also the most difficult to recall properly.
I had veered off of the main road somehow, and ended up 100% lost. I am very familiar with this whole area I was in, but yet hadn't the slightest clue where I was. It was at this point that I began to believe I had died. I did not when or how it had happened, but I thought I was now a ghost. The visuals I were having did not fit into the category of tripping in my opinion at the time, they were too real. 'This..' I thought.. 'This is the after-life. The Other. I am a soul walking the Earth.' It was incredible cold outside, but I did not realize this. I thought my coldness was due to being dead, I thought 'this is what all that cold talk is about when people are dying..' i.e. you know in a movie, you see someone dying, and they're like 'it's so cold...' I also could not feel my heart beating. I am usually very aware of my body and especially my heart, as a have a generally high level of baseline anxiety. This is what confirmed I was dead in my mind. My heart, that warm, loving, life giving organ was gone, taken from me.
I became very depressed and lay down on the pavement. I sprawled out, hoping soon my soul would leave this Earth, as the cold was so painful, and I was in extreme discomfort. I thought maybe I had gone to hell. and that is what hell was really like. Pure sensation, an eternal grating of the nerves...I thought back to lying in my bed, greedily pulling a down comforter over me, not even appreciating the ability to simply BE. To just 'exist' and be warm and alive and comfortable. I had been such a fool in my life, so ungrateful. I felt I was now slowly drifting apart, that I was being slowly disassembled. With each bit of energy I would expend, I would become that much closer to re-integrating into the Universal pool of energy that all things are made of. I felt a sensation that I imagined to be paramedics trying to save my life, using defibrillators. It was a highly electric sensation, I felt with each surge I could see my blood vessels surge momentarily, I thought I could vaguely make out the faces of loved ones all around me; but it was too late. I was too far gone, too close to the white light. I was not coming back, and they had to let me go.
It was sad, thinking of all the hardship between my ex-girlfriend and I that would never be resolved, thinking of my mom wondering how her son had gotten involved in prostitution and wasted such a potentially great life, thinking of all my new coworkers in disbelief that the new guy had been killed over the weekend, my new roommates struggling to make rent as I just dropped off the face of the Earth. I mourned all the people I would never get to hug and hold again, the people I should have told so much more that I loved them. Love is so important, it is the most important thing on this Earth. I may be getting a bit sentimental, but really, we must learn to love one another. We have become so disenfranchised from our fellow humans, which isn't being helped at all by the abundance of technology and dehumanizing things like Facebook and Twitter. Let's talk to each other face to face again! Hug! Hold hands! Look each other in the eye and say I LOVE YOU!! It makes the world go 'round.
At some point I decided to get up, thinking I had realized my soul's journey wasn't quite finished, and I had miles to go before I sleep. I continued walking along, not really knowing where I was, hoping I would reconnect with the main road at some point. Eventually my instincts served me properly, and I made it back to a familiar area. I walked up to the gas station, cautiously, still under the impression that I was dead (not to mention I was only wearing boxers and a t-shirt in the middle of the night in a suburban area). I was taken aback when I realized that I could still see myself on the TVs that displays the store's security feed. 'Interesting', I thought, 'You can still see yourself on camera even as a ghost.' I walked inside and asked the methed out clerk if I could use his phone, he was hacking up a lung and missing all but one tooth and told me his phone was off til the end of the month, then began ranting about how his boss put all these cameras everywhere thinking they are crooks or something! It was interesting. I got a cup of water and continued on my quest.
I was reduced to a mere hobble at this point, as I had gashed my feet something awful in the midst of my sprinting marathon a while earlier. There was a lot of blood and a huge flap of skin dangling off of one heel, and a huge blood blister on the other. I made it to a fancy hotel and went inside, hoping I could find someone to help and take me to my apartment (even though I lost my apartment key when I tossed my jeans away). The guy at the front desk let me use the phone, and I tried to call a girl I know. She hates that I do drugs, so she was generally irate and I realized it had been a bad idea to call her & tell her my 'plight'. I ended up having to wait while the police were called to give me a ride home. I had a prior resisting arrest charge at the time of this trip, so the cop came in decked out and ready to fuck shit up. Once he saw I was calm and not intoxicated (hehe, by some miracle I had no mydriasis. 25i is very inconsistent in this effect for me) he became a little friendlier, escorted me out to the cop car (I was wearing a towel which I keep to this day as a memento lol) and explained he would have to put the handcuffs on if I was getting in the cop car, but I wasn't being arrested or anything.
On the way to my apartment, he told me I seemed like a smart guy and wondered how I got involved in all this 'nefarious activity'. I really didn't have an answer, I told him it just kind of happened like a snowball effect sort of thing, and I never really 'intended' on living said lifestyle. The cop then tried to get me involved in undercover activity working with the police. Lol fuck that.
Once back at my apartment, I generally felt wrecked. My feet were completely thrashed, my legs were really tense from all the running, I felt my immune system was struggling considering the temperatures I'd been out in all night. No experience in my life had even come close to preparing me for this night...I mixed together two very powerful drugs and as a result got my cosmic ass handed to me on a soul shattering plate.
I mixed together two very powerful drugs and as a result got my cosmic ass handed to me on a soul shattering plate.
The visuals were far more intense than anything I've experienced on DMT, DPT, LSD, or any other three letter words. I was interacting with the world, seeing nothing around me but pure, tangible ENERGY. It peeled my third eye wide open, and it has not closed since.
I later tried this combo in much lower doses, and it was still overwhelming and extremely stimulating. I would recommend caution is exercised when taking the two together. aMT is a drug that amplifies the effects of others a lot, and so is 25i considering its affinity for the network in our brains that is more or less responsible for our 'perception'. I still have no regrets though.
Peace, Love & Unity
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