DOSE:

1 tablet

oral

LSD

BODY WEIGHT:

110 lb

LSD and Mystical Experience

I am writing this down many years later, but the experience is still vivid to me , for it was my first experience of eternity.

I took LSD, and saw the environment around me changing and becoming distorted. I thought, if a drug can change perception, then perception is not very reliable. I wondered if there was anything that was ultimately true, and if there was a way to discover this.

Then my mind formed itself into a sword, and it pointed to a tiny point, a diamond, which was Reality. And I knew that I would seek Reality, that I wanted to understand it more than anything in the world. I did not care if the town exploded around me, if I lived or died- the only important thing was to grasp Reality. My sword would cut through all of the false ideas that I had learned, what I had assumed, what I had been forced to believe or believed out of error. I would find what was ultimately true, if it was the last thing that I did.

This strong intention made the sword start cutting through veils of illusion, which looked like silk scarves printed with geometrical designs and mandalas. These were my memories in visual form. The sword cut right through the center- any time my attention veered off from the center, I would get caught in a colored pattern and suddenly I was back in my childhood, looking at a design on wrapping paper or the drapes of my childhood home. I continued back past my childhood, past my birth, back past previous births, past the birth of the solar system and the universe. I was traveling on a bright river of light, led by the sword, towards the center of Reality.

I traveled and traveled and traveled, past beautiful and unknown regions. Eventually the river of light entered a vast ocean of light, and I was within it. I could travel no further, for the center was everywhere. It was a great and infinite ocean of consciousness, brilliant and blazing and glorious, the beginning and end of all things. Where all things that passed away were Becoming, this was Being Itself, simultaneously a light and an ocean and a substance, the substance of Reality. It looked like a sort of mercury, shining, both liquid and solid, full of rainbows flowing into each other. Every wave flowed into every other wave, and it was full of vast patterns of meaning. It was the clay from which both mind and matter were made.

At first, I was able to observe it, but then I was it, and I was the vast ocean of blazing awareness. Being Itself was all that there really was, and everything else was waves within waves in this ocean, reflections within patterns within echoes. All things came from here, and all things returned, yet it never really changed. This glorious light and joy was Reality, not the cramped darkness that I had known as the physical world. Everything that I had learned up to that time was like knowing only a tiny part of toe, instead of a whole body.

While time and space were not relevant concepts for this state, I later noticed that it was evening and realized that I had been exploring this realm for about eight hours. As the vision faded, I wondered why nobody else ever spoke of this state. Was I the only one that knew about it? Why was I born in an age when such things are forgotten or unknown? I should have been born in the ancient world, when people were closer to their origins, and remembered such things. Now I was born into a world of ignorance and amnesia, and nobody would understand the importance of this state.

I knew that I would never forget this experience, and that I would not allow it to be forgotten. I would dedicate my life to learning about this, and try to remind the world of such experiences as best I could. I would draw, I would write, I would study. This was the greatest truth of all, and would be the path of my life.

As a note, it did become my life work- I am a researcher and professor in the field of mysticism. However, I study the experiences of others, and I bracket my own experiences for academic research and publication.

Exp Year: 1972	ExpID: 97163
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: Jun 16, 2020	Views: 730
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