Citation: Arcanine. "Mary Molly Lucy: An Experience with MDMA & LSD (exp97272)". Erowid.org. Nov 8, 2018. erowid.org/exp/97272
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 0:30
||(blotter / tab)
| T+ 1:30
||(powder / crystals)
| T+ 2:30
I’m not exactly sure how to start to describe this life-changing experience of mine, so I’ll do it with some background. I’ve changed a lot in the last year or so. I started smoking cannabis on a pretty regular basis about a year ago and it slowly made me start to think differently about damn near everything. Politics, religion, life, ego, and love you name it. I became interested in other mind opening drugs and tried LSD for the first time about 8 months ago. It blew my mind open; I instantly fell in love with Lucy. My interest in altered states of consciousness exploded after that. Up until where this trip report starts I had done LSD 3 times, shrooms twice, and MDMA 3 times. My sources were always street dealers who wildly overpriced and overhyped their product but I was fine with that as long as I still got the experience I was looking for. For this experience I had acquired my chemicals on a certain anonymous marketplace that allows for much better quality control and more accurate dosage descriptions. Between my tripping buddy, we’ll call him B, and I were two hits of 100ug LSD and a 500mg bag of crystal MDMA. Since I don’t have a mg scale we split the bag in half and said we would do 2/3 of it first and the rest as a redose. This candyflip was to be at a big EDM festival in California, 50k+ people.
Also with us for this trip is my best friend, we’ll call her C. I can honestly say this girl is my truest friend. For 5 years we’ve been inseparable. Her family is like my family and her house is my second home. She’s never been into any type of drugs, the occasional party drinking is about it. The one time she smoked weed she shotgunned a massive hit off a blunt from me that I shouldn’t have gone so hard on, and hated the rest of her night. My bad lol.
Anyways we’ve been really close for a long time and as long as I can remember I’ve always felt something “more” for her than just our extremely close friendship. It doesn’t help that she’s seriously one of the most beautiful girls you’d ever meet, downright stunning. I’ve never said anything to her about that out of pure fear, she literally terrifies me. The thought of her not feeling the same and it having a negative effect on our friendship is unbearable so I’ve never even thought about bringing it up. Not to mention my self esteem has always been shit. About 6 months ago she moved across the country with her piece of shit boyfriend at the time and we had a sort of falling out. After he treated her like shit for a few months she came back home and we were together again, like nothing had even happened. It was then that I realized she really is the only friend I truly need. Since her return this feeling that I really do love this girl and want to be with her plagued my mind every hour of every day and only got worse as time went on. I had invited her on this trip because of my experience at EDC earlier that year and knew she would love it. Also in the back of my mind was this sort of hope that maybe just maybe while under the influence of the candyflip I could muster up the courage to tell her how I really felt to some degree, or would find the clarity of thought to really know my feelings for her. I could have never expected what was to come.
Fast forward to the day of the event. As soon as B and I get through the line we drop our molly at about 7 PM. I left about a third of mine in the bag for a redose during my trip, B downed about 85% of his. At T+30 we put the tab on our tongues.
T+1:30 noticing that we still are pretty much baseline, B maybe a little high, we decide to say fuck it and drop the rest of our girl Molly. The first DJ we get to is playing some pretty weird stuff, not very good to dance to, and it doesn’t really make us come up at all. We head for another stage and I grab the menthol inhaler I brought and take a couple good whiffs. That shit SHOT me up on the E. About 5 minutes later and I am definitely coming up hard.This is at T+2. We walk around to go towards the main stage and find this nice grassy hill with a few people chilling on it and decide to take a seat and just wait for our shit to hit us harder. After about 5 minutes C reminds me there is this guy friend of hers, call him Ant, at the far side of the event who she wants to get a drink from (being 20 still) because she’s sober Sally tonight. I tell B that me and her are going to find him and let him know to stay exactly where he is. He is coming into his acid trip and is rolling hard so has no problem just chilling there getting lightshowed lol.
At T+2.5 I am fully rolling and the acid is starting to come into full effect ++. C and I walk to the tent where this guy is. One look at him and I see why she likes him so much. A real physical specimen I guess you could say. She introduces me and he greets me with a “You wanna smoke this blunt with me?” I immediately tell C “He’s a fuckin good guy!” to which she replies with “I told you! He’s awesome.” and continue smoking the cannabis. I saw her eyes light up when I said he was a good guy, it’s exactly what she wanted to hear from me, the approval of her best friend.
Soon after, we leave the tent and follow A to the next stage and to get B. As soon as we leave the tent I am at a full +++. As Ant is walking ahead of me and C to my side I experience the most powerful, ego less revelatory moment of my life. While Ant is walking ahead of us I turned to C and asked her if she wanted to go catch up with Ant more as we were lagging behind and I figured she would want to be hanging out with him. It was at that moment that I realized how selfish my previous wants to “have her for my own” were, all I wanted was to possess her. My desires for her were all created by my ego, they were a massive illusion. It literally felt that if at that moment she tried to come onto me or anything like that, I would’ve probably resisted. This blew my mind as that’s all I would ever dream for on a normal day.
if at that moment she tried to come onto me or anything like that, I would’ve probably resisted. This blew my mind as that’s all I would ever dream for on a normal day.
All the while I’m holding her hand walking through these crowds thinking about how amazing it is just to be this close of friends with someone. To share a bond so pure and unconditional is truly unbelievable. I realized that this amazing friendship that I shared with her was really the most important thing to me in my life. Then it hit me that I was just thinking about that in such a crystal clear way. I had expected to come into this trip and possibly let out some of my feelings and instead had a revelation about where those feelings were really coming from. My mind was plagued because I was infatuated with the thought of “having” her. Now I had realized that I already do have her, she is the best friend I’ve ever had and always will be. Somehow after this chain reaction of epiphanies while I am completely peaking on both Molly and Lucy, I pulled out my phone and texted a close friend at home and told her that I had a huge epiphany to tell her and to save the text. How I did that I still don’t know. Fucking amazing.
T+3 (I know only 3 hours in!!!) C and I find B exactly where we left him with a girl laying in his lap as he lightshows her. Then they started making out in this crazy psychedelic fashion lol and I called his name. He looked up with this look of sheer childish jubilee. This being his first time with a real dose of LSD he was very excited to see a familiar face haha. This is when the visuals got really intense and the time all morphs together lol. All I remember from then till the end of the concert really was walking around holding hands with C and feeling like we were at Woodstock 2012. The whole place was pulsing with pure love energy it was so inspiring. To me it was like me and her were 6 years old dressed up like hippies, holding hands, and running around this beautiful playground of lights and music with thousands of other kids. Everything was so beautiful and pure. C and I would be walking ahead and I constantly had to keep B near us because he was just getting so lost in his visuals haha but he loved it.
I think around T+5 we were getting something to drink and while standing in line B looked at C and said “I love you so much” in that typical molly way, hugged her and as I’m watching him get lost in the visuals that are making up C’s face and everything, melts his face into hers. C is looking at me while this is going on like “Uhhhh? LOL” I literally had to put my hand on his mouth and pull him back. When he came back he looked at me with this totally blank face like “WTF just happened” it was hilarious lol.
The visuals I was getting were the most intense I’ve ever had. They came in all these different phases too, some would be bright flashing lights shooting off of every surface, then it would just look like everything drooped and melted, and sometimes there would be mixtures of them all. I can’t really remember what it was like with my eyes closed, I don’t think I did a whole lot of closing them I imagine it would have been really intense and that might’ve been what B was doing all night. I think he was literally morphing his closed eye vision with open eyed.
T+7 The concert ends and I am still getting amazing visuals and feeling pretty great. The metro ride home at 3 am in a pretty urban area was kind of trippy but still added to the trip lol. We got back to our hotel around T+8 and smoked a bunch of weed, listened to some good trance and shpongle, then comfortably fell into an amazing trippy sleep.
All in all I still can barely believe what happened that night. It was the single most amazing journey into my own psyche and a beautiful one at that.
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