Everything Contradicts Itself
Citation:   JordAn. "Everything Contradicts Itself: An Experience with 25I-NBOMe (exp97801)". Erowid.org. Dec 16, 2012. erowid.org/exp/97801

T+ 0:00
2 hits insufflated 25I-NBOMe
  T+ 0:20   smoked Cannabis
My neighbor came over, who sells many different research chemicals (most of which he attains via the internet) and offered me a free drug if a friend and I just smoked him out. I agreed, having no idea what I had gotten myself into. I snorted one dose, didn't feel the effects but only slightly, so 20 minutes later I consumed the same dose again. (I'm not sure if this effects the drug, but I was also two full 32 ounce beer cans deep.) The following is what I experienced:

BASELINE: how I felt before I took the drug, 12:00 midnight

20 MINUTES: (after second dose): all of my friends had left my apartment, and I was alone to trip. I still didn't really feel much, even though I knew I had just taken two full doses, I thought maybe it was because i have some type of high drug tolerance. Then I noticed my change in perception, I had the tingly 'psychedelic' feeling that is so common on mushrooms or LSD, and VERY quickly started coming up. At this instant, my friend came over and offered me to smoke. I told him the drug I had just taken was starting to take effect, and then I ripped the bong. almost instantly my entire living room floor was waving, similar to an ocean. I started freaking out, saying this is too intense for the amount of time that has passed. I began thinking I was going to die, telling my friend to get me water. I completely ignored my friend and just walked to my room, then he left.

30 minutes: As I'm walking to my room, I notice it almost feels like I'm watching myself walk from behind me. I looked at one of my hands as i moved it across my body, and realized there was a trail behind it. I began to just move my hands around and watch in awe at the long tracers following each movement. I lied down in my bed

1 hour: I am lying in my bed and my thoughts are racing, my brain has never functioned quite like this, and I can't even really describe what was going on in my head. I'm staring at the ceiling, and everything won't stop morphing and moving. big blocky alphabetical letters are appearing on my ceiling, spelling things out to me. I couldn't understand the words that kept appearing.

2 hours: My brain is completely fucked, my thoughts are looping, and I don't even feel like I can think properly. I am so worried that my thought patterns will never become normal again. I had the same two thoughts over and over again, I'd say coming within about five minutes of each other (the time distortion makes it hard to really say). I begin thinking about psychedelics and all the people I know who have tripped, such as family members. I began making the connection that i feel more comfortable around people who have experienced similar drugs such as mushrooms, and that every time you trip you learn more and can almost act as a guide to less experienced people. It became very personal, and i felt connections with my brother. I began to feel like I was becoming more powerful, and that I would act as a guide in the future to other people experiencing anxiety on psychedelics.

as this surge of power began coursing through my body, I began to go into almost what seemed like a trance. I was uncontrollably moving around on my bed like a snake. At this point, I began to think maybe I'm possessed. In my mind, I had literally become satan, and I thought Jesus was going to come back and I would have some type of spiritual battle with him. I thought I was going to be eternally damned to hell and suffer forever. This moment in my trip was by far the most terrifying experience I can think of to date.

3 hours: I am gritting my teeth and can feel the tension throughout my entire body, full body sweats and etc. I look at the clock, and my brain starts to see patterns where there are none. I begin connecting numbers from the clock with previous hours and Just WEIRD shit like that. occasionally throughout the trip, I would convince myself I was okay, 'look man! you're on a drug right now, your brain does not normally function like this, you will be okay' I would repeat things like this over and over again. I got my notebook from beside my bed and began frantically writing.

4 hours: Every single thought I have is paradoxical. I see ambiguity in literally everything. Everything contradicts itself. I began realizing that when I woke up I would be a different person. I knew I would 'die' and that the person waking up in the bed the next morning would be 100 percent me, but also 100 percent a different person. I started to worry, thinking maybe I'm the one thats going to die, and someone is going to take over my life from here on out. I then realized I WAS going to 'die' but that I would move forward in life as still 'myself'. I know most of this doesn't even really make sense, but during the trip it made perfect sense. I wanted to feel unique, and like I was set apart from society for some higher purpose, that I was special in some way. At the same time, I knew I was not special, I am a human being just like anyone else, and I really have no significance towards this planet. But then i realized i am significant, and that I have huge impacts on the people in my life that I know personally.

I contemplated everything from my own mental process to the origins of the universe and quantum mechanics. I thought about Shrodinger's cat, and it was the biggest mind fuck of my life. I was mad that I had ever thought about it. I could almost see life as a line, and that the past is straight, but the future could branch off into an infinite number of possibilities, and that they all technically existed even though none of them have happened, and that regardless reality would cause the branched out line to collapse into one linear record of events.

7 A.m. I fell asleep, FINALLY. I woke up the next evening at 6 o'clock, and made the decision that I never want to take anything like what I had just taken ever again.

Exp Year: 2012ExpID: 97801
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Dec 16, 2012Views: 8,930
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25I-NBOMe (542) : Alone (16), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2)

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