DOSE:	4 hits	smoked	DMT
		smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

About an hour ago, I took part in my second DMT experience with my first being the previous day. My experience tonight was much more powerful than the previous, so I'll focus on that one.

I've had a lot of experience with psychedelics. Ive done my share of acid and shrooms, along with some other analogs like Moxy. DMT has always fascinated me. I had looked for 2 years for it with no luck. So when the time finally came, I was nervous as shit.

One of my best friends and I shared a bowl mixed with about 40 mg of DMT. Before we took our hits, I put on some Zakir Hussain to listen to in the background. We each powered through 4 tokes each. Within 15 seconds of that first hit, I felt a rush of sedation come through my veins, as though to start to suppress the feeling of the external. I always tried to hold on to the thought that I had made this choice. Now is the time to let it do its work. From here, I closed my eyes to allow the experience to be a fully internal experience. Pressure was starting to build in my head, but not like a throbbing. This pressure was unlike any I'd ever known. I like to call it more of a prominent presence in the frontal part of my skull. Different parts of my body were amplified while others became not numb, but devoid of existing. I was completely aware of the different layers of my body, especially my face. Under my skin is a skull, I felt that. My nerves were beginning to work on the inside, not the outside. With my eyes closed, I started to see beautiful visual geometric patterns happening right in front of me like a movie.

After these shapes get more intense, I realize that with my eyes closed, my eyes are not processing whats in front of me. Instead, my brain is seeing in such a way where it is as though my eyes are at the center of my brain looking upward able to take in a 360 degree view. I don't know if this was the next level of another dimension, but what I do know is I was at the lowest middle point of this vast space. The entire time I am experiencing this, I am still in my body. Zakir is playing in the background. Everything is ok, everything is on track.

This is not to say, though, that what I would classify as my 'body' was even where I was. I was an observer who was placed in this mind to control this physical being. My body was a mass of muscle, flesh, and bone all working in their own way with their own layers. I remember specifically at one point I stretched my wrists and I felt the pain of stretching in my arm. I then realized that I as the observer for this mass, I must take the responsibility of understanding and interpreting the physical and external senses; be it pain, relaxation, love, or hate. So ok, the body is physically here, and I am in it, but what is 'I' and why is 'I' in this mass anyway?

I knew the answer as soon as I asked this question. What composes my 'I' is the observer being placed in a physical manifestation. For awareness to exist in an individual, it needs to have the aspect of individuality; a spiritual force put in charge of a physical machine. And each observer has its own set of mechanisms and experiences; no one greater than the other. Some individualities may have better stories than others, but all we are are stories. The very thing we call 'us' and what we are, who we are, and why we are, is nothing but a thought.

Everything we are is a thought.

At this point I had come down, with these new realizations to carry me. I didnt break through, but I got as close as one can get. Its important to note that there was much more I cant describe, especially when it comes to the visual aspects. But what was also interesting is how my sense of time was distorted. Not in the sense that time stopped, but more so that the minutes moved faster, but the seconds moved slower. The fast moments happening under the DMT had their own specific timing to appear and I was able to comprehend each as each came about. But the accumulation of all these seconds added up all too soon.

Once I was finally back, I was disappointed. Not by what happened, but by realizing when I opened my eyes, I could only see what was in front of my eyes. A narrow few degrees in 1 direction. What kind of sight is this? This sucks. I could see all around me. And the world has become that much smaller again. DMT brought me back to what I am allowed to see in this form.

This experience was one of the most unique, profound, and refreshing experiences I've ever had. I cant wait to see what the molecule has in store for me next time.

It was not scary. It was profound. It allowed me to reach out to an extension of my consciousness.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 98045
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Apr 2, 2020	Views: 677
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DMT (18) : Combinations (3), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)