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A Mental Cleansing, a Shadow That Wasn't There
Brugmansia
Citation:   Kaki Smile. "A Mental Cleansing, a Shadow That Wasn't There: An Experience with Brugmansia (exp98112)". Erowid.org. Oct 25, 2022. erowid.org/exp/98112

 
DOSE:
T+ 0:00
2 flowers oral Brugmansia (tea)
  T+ 5:00 2 flowers oral Brugmansia (tea)
BODY WEIGHT: 97 lb
It was around 12:25pm when I decided to go pick some Brugmansias, just a couple of them since I had read that 2 flowers and a liter of water was enough to prepare them. Then from the liter I was to take 350ml which would be sufficient to get high. Wouldn’t want to go over the limit and go about losing my head, I thought.

I picked a couple of pink flowers and headed back to my grandfather's house, where I'd be making the tea and getting high. The house is a very old house and the only people that live there are my grandfather and my uncle. My uncle worked till late though, and my grandfather is too old to be able to realize I was high on a Brugmansia tea. Anyways I headed back to the house and prepared the tea as so: 1 liter water, two big flowers in it and let sit there and boil for about 5 minutes. I used an old gas stove, so I really wasn’t sure what temperature I had it on, but as long as the water boiled it was fine. Around 12:37pm the tea was ready to drink and so I added some sugar, drank it slowly, and finally headed back to the room.

It was about 1:30pm or so when I fell into a very deep sleep
I fell into a very deep sleep
, suddenly I remember waking up to the sound of someone making food in the kitchen. What the hell! I thought and so I tried to get up, but I felt extremely heavy and every footstep felt like it would take hours till I stepped again. I went up to the mirror and all I felt was a bit dizzy and quite heavy and my pupils were the size of a baseball, yet there was nothing too weird, nothing too intense. Damn! tea didn’t work again, since the day before I had tried it and it failed to work as well. I was determined to get high so I decided I'd go pick two more flowers, this time the white ones, and come back and make myself another tea. But before I did I went to check who the hell was in the kitchen. I walked slowly towards the kitchen still feeling heavy and dizzy and to my surprise it was my aunt Clara cooking some food for my grandfather, so she looked at me and asked me what I was doing there. I told her I was studying for a test I had the next day and that I needed some peace and quiet. After a while of some small talk and useless words she offered me some French fries she made and something to drink, I accepted although my mouth was so dry I barely had any saliva to swallow. This was around 5pm and about 30 minutes later my aunt left. My grandfather ate and went back to his room and everything was back to normal, so I went out to seek for two more flowers.

I found two big white ones and took those along with a pink one that was not yet fully opened and headed back to the house. As I walked in the kitchen I did feel one strange thing happen. I felt like I was growing as I took a step further in the kitchen, as if I could actually reach the roof and then when I looked over at my grandfather for a moment I didn’t recognize him for a split second, but it felt normal as if I wasn’t supposed to know who he was and then it all went back to normal. This time though, there was a problem, the gas stove had no more gas and so it wouldn’t turn on. Crap I thought I just have to have this tea, so what I did was use a really strange alternative. I took two mugs and filled them with water and in each mug I put in a flower and I put first one mug then the other in the microwave for 1 minute each, thing was the water didn’t look like it was boiling so I decided to put both mugs in and leave them in the microwave for 3 minutes, until the water boiled. Finally it did and when I took them out the water looked completely yellow. I drank almost both cups and dumped the rest out and proceeded to the room.

What happened next was a series of strange happenings, which at the moment seemed completely normal to me. I went back to sleep and it was almost 6:15pm and when I woke up next I found myself in a different reality, in a different place, one I seemed to be quite comfortable in. Strange vibrations all over and I woke to find my aunt Ana there. What a surprise!

High off my mind and no possible way to hide this; I tried talking, but the words came out strange. Something was different, I just didn’t know what. My aunt asked me questions; you know the usual ones like: What was I doing there, if I had come to San Ramon alone or with my mom, and until when I was staying. I answered them all for I still didn’t feel too out of my mind, which was before I tried standing up. Once I stood up the world around me pretty much collapsed to the point where I had no idea what day it was, what time it was, I didn’t even realize if it was morning or night. I had no idea of what was happening, or what I was doing, but it didn’t seem to bother me. I lost track of who I was and who people were around me. I just wasn’t there. I was nobody at that moment, just a walking shadow. My aunt kept talking to me, but I was too high to understand her, from what I can remember. Maybe I looked fine and I talked normally, maybe I didn’t, but that remains a mystery to me.

A few things I remember happening that came to make me look like a total lunatic, was the fact that I confused day with night. I looked around and it was pitch black, but I actually thought it was 4:30am and that I had to shower, because the next day I was supposed to leave at 5am with a friend back to my house. My aunt looked at me very strange and the words she said made no sense to me. She told me it was 10:00 at night and that it was weird I wanted to take a shower, besides it was cold as hell. To me her words just vanished in the air, I really just wanted to shower, but for a moment I came back and told her I was going to shower so late so I wouldn’t have to shower in the morning. I said that partially because it sounded like a good idea and partially so she wouldn’t freak out seeing me act so weird. Before I took a shower another odd thing happened; I was looking for my pants that I wanted to use, which happened to be the ones I had on me, but my mind could not process that. I actually took someone else’s bag that I confused with mine and looked for my pants in there. The strangest part of it all was that I could see in the bag all my belongings, belongings that weren’t there since that wasn’t my bag. I pulled out all the pants that were in the bag looking for mine, there were about 5 of them and wondered how they got there in “my bag” that really wasn’t mine. My aunt saw me do all this and never said one word; I think she thought I was going crazy or something. Finally I stopped and simply said guess I'll just wear the same pants I’m wearing and headed towards the shower.

After showering I went back to the living room and sat there for like half an hour just staring at this black bag that I confused with a cousin of mine. I thought she was crying, yet my mind could not process the feeling of sadness. I was emotionless
my mind could not process the feeling of sadness. I was emotionless
; another great part of the tea. I asked her a couple of times why she was crying, but since I got no answer I just left the thought there and when I looked to the side I saw her sister sitting next to me. Earlier that day I had been with her because she was sick, but at this point I was so high I saw her there next to me and I began talking to her. I still wonder if I was really talking out loud or if it was all in my mind. The only thing I know is that if I was talking out loud my aunt was probably listening to me.

After those 30minutes of complete mental disintegration and having my aunt tell me every 10 minutes that it was late and that I should probably leave, I finally understood what she meant. I grabbed the bag I still thought was mine and left to my cousin’s house where I was currently staying. The last thing that happened was that as I walked up the lonely road to their house I felt someone touch my back and when I looked there was a shadowy figure behind me that would vanish in the air like dust. This same wondrous spectacle happened to me about four times as I walked up, but not once did I feel afraid or threatened. Like I said before I was emotionless, I don’t even think I understood death at the moment. I loved that state, it was peaceful and comfortable. That day I remember it as a beautiful mental cleansing of a shadow that’s wasn’t there. The next day I was back to my old self only a bit changed in the inside. The only problem I had the next morning was the blurred vision I had throughout the day. It made it impossible to read, other than that I really enjoyed the tea.

[Reported Dose: ''2 flowers in the morning 2 in the evening'']

Exp Year: 2012ExpID: 98112
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Oct 25, 2022Views: 359
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Brugmansia (84) : Alone (16), Entities / Beings (37), First Times (2)

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