DOSE:	100 mg	oral	MDMA	(powder / crystals)
		smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

77 kg

This report is more about the comedown from MDMA which comes after a few days (it was always exactly 2 days later for me) rather than the effects of the high of MDMA itself. I had a very strong comedown each of the two times I took MDMA, the second time it ended up in a psychotic episode that ended up with me getting hospitalized for 2 weeks.

I first took MDMA during an electronic music festival with 2 very close friends who were also taking it for the first time and a bunch of their friends who had more experience with MDMA (there were also some people not taking MDMA, we were around 8 guys and girls in total). I am not sure of the amount I took but it must have been around 100mg. I did not take a pill, instead I had a little personal plastic bag with MDMA crystals inside it (got it from the friends of my friends), the crystals were so small it looked like white powder if not carefully looked at. It tasted really bad, can't describe the taste, you took it by putting your finger inside the bag and then licking it.

I started by taking in just a bit and waiting for an hour, since I did not feel any effects besides a little happiness and energy (and my friend insisted I had to take more) I finished my portion and even took a bit more from my friends' bags. Around half an hour later I finally felt it. I felt very anxious and nervous and had to ask a close friend to walk outside with me to relax a bit. I had blurred vision and felt incredibly sad , recalling bad memories from a bad break up. After a while sitting outside I felt better and could go back inside where I smoked weed heavily (probably that helped) and enjoyed the rest of the festival a lot - especially the music (deadmau5 was there!).

My comedown 2 days later (took MDMA on the night from a Saturday to a Sunday, the comedown happened on a Tuesday morning) was horrible. I woke up crying and barely being able to breathe. I felt depressed the whole week, like if I could never be happy again. Luckily, I had lots of close friends near that spent time with me and took me out, so I got over it.

The second time I took MDMA was 2 weeks later in another (smaller) electronic music party. I was there with the same close friends from the first time but only two of us took MDMA that night. We got the MDMA from a random guy at the party, it came in a very similar small plastic bag as I had seen the first time. The taste was the same but the crystals were a bit larger, not as fine as the first time. There was even a little 'rock' of it inside the bag. Since the ugly taste was the same I assumed it was safe (meaning it was pure MDMA, although I have no way of actually knowing what truly was in that bag). We, meaning my friend and I, finished the MDMA and had a pretty good night and morning too, walking around the city until noon after partying as neither of us felt tired and we were enjoying each others' company so much (the typical closeness feeling after taking MDMA). I did not take any weed this time.

The next days I felt incredibly good. I was not able to sleep much but I still felt very happy and even active. However, two days later (again, I took the MDMA on a Saturday to Sunday night and had my crash on a Tuesday) as I was sitting in my living room I suddenly felt like crying and, again, could barely breathe. I went running thinking it would help. I cried a lot while running while feeling incredibly sad for no reason. Eventually, the exercise (I jogged for about half an hour) helped. I felt tired but relaxed and finally stopped crying.

Later that same day I went to a barbecue with some friends and after smoking a blunt (pure weed joint) I went paranoid thinking everyone in the party either hated me, wanted to fight me or did not want to be friends with me anymore. This is a very weird thing to happen after smoking since I was a regular (and heavy) weed smoker for like a year (and had smoked irregularly before that for years) and had never felt anything like that after smoking. I left the barbecue and went home and after that the next 5 days are very blurry. I had a psychotic episode, and I mean COMPLETELY disconnected from reality and CRAZY psychotic. I thought WW3 was about to start and even thought a guy I talked to was Jesus (even though I'm not very religious). I was constantly hearing voices in my head, had all kind of delusional ideas and thought music and advertising I heard or saw were talking to me directly in an interactive manner. I did not sleep or eat or even shower for the next 5 days until my friends realized I was having real trouble and forced me to go to a hospital. I was still delusional as I talked to a doctor at the hospital, thinking all kinds of crazy stories and not that I was psychotic and needed help, so they gave me a relaxant and tied me to a bed. The next morning I was transferred to a psychiatric ward where I stayed for two weeks until I was finally calmed and down to earth enough to go home.

For around 3 months after all this happened I felt very slow and stupid and even depressed, often having suicidal ideas. Luckily my parents were very supportive and I have (I think) totally recovered but the memory of the whole thing still spooks me and I am still taking medication. The doctors, and lots of internet research I have been doing, explained to me that, sometimes, in a few unlucky people, MDMA has a especially harsh comedown and this comedown and depression can be so strong so as to put someone in a psychotic state.

In my view, if the comedown is too strong for you then MDMA is not your drug, although I have heard there are some ways in which to minimize these negative effects I will probably never do it again, MDMA is just not my drug, which is a pity 'cause I really enjoyed the only two times I took it. The feelings of happiness and closeness to others that this drug gives are amazing and I will miss it.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 98262
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 23
Published: Jan 8, 2023	Views: 376
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MDMA (3), Cannabis (1) : General (1), Hangover / Days After (46), Post Trip Problems (8), Combinations (3), Rave / Dance Event (18)