Citation: Santos. "Is It Saving Me?: An Experience with Buprenorphine / Naloxone (Suboxone) (exp98302)". Erowid.org. Sep 6, 2019. erowid.org/exp/98302
Is Suboxone Saving Me?
I have been using opiates for thirteen years, mostly oxycodone. Though I haven't been able to use for the past year due to an involuntary vacation in the county jail for forging prescriptions, I know that it's only a matter of time before I pick up a regular habit again. I've already gotten percocets for a kidney stone. Since I'm on probation all may scripts have to be legal or else I could violate.
Although I've read discouraging reports of people using suboxone as a maintenance tool before a high tolerance develops, I decided that it might help me from relapsing. The doctor prescribed me 8mg 2x a day which I knew was a very high dose from my suboxone use in the past. Since my tolerance was low, I started off on 2mg 2x a day. I got the film so I cut it into pieces.
The first 4 or 5 days were not beneficial. I was slightly nauseous and had a kind've detached feeling that didn't make me care about anything. Prior to taking them I had only taken a few percocets and was taking about 8 50mg tramadol a day so there wasn't any kind of withdrawal that I had to go through, like I said, I am taking subs to prevent me from using oxycodone.
I am taking subs to prevent me from using oxycodone.
After about a week, the light went on and I started feeling happy and full of energy. I struggle with constant fatigue and suddenly realized that I didn't have to lay down and take a nap after the subs started working. There's a kind of anti-depressant effect along with the release of dopamine from the opiates which is rather pleasant. The nausea is gone and I have that motivation and energy that remains consistent throughout the day. I can also attest to the suppression of the cravings. I still have some percocets and have no desire to touch them after having taken a few and not having any effects whatsoever. I feel like a great burden has been lifted off my shoulders by not having to crave and obsess over having other opiates in my system. However I feel somewhat wary because I'm just not used to feeling happy and motivated all the time
I feel somewhat wary because I'm just not used to feeling happy and motivated all the time
and It feels like I'm cheating. I go to AA/NA and you have all these miserables who struggle with depression and unhappiness, working through it without any chemical assistance.
Hence the methadone/suboxone controversy. I just wouldn't want to stop taking Suboxone after having reached this plateau but coasting through my disabilities on auto-pilot seems a little unreal. I have a duel diagnosis of addiction and depression and Suboxone treats both which I find amazing.
For now I will accept this medicinal miracle and see where it leads me. Practically though, the subs are expensive and my insurance doesn't cover them. However when I am focused and feeling ok I can tap into money making capabilities and increase my income so I can afford to be depression/addiction free. Today, it's worth it!
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.