DOSE:		oral	Chocolate
		smoked	Cannabis
		insufflated	Oxytocin	(liquid)

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

I purchased a nasal spray bottle of Oxytocin. When it arrived in the mail, I took it over a lover’s house that same night.

Upon arriving, we smoked some cannabis out of a vaporizer. It felt like about a gram between the two of us. I was moderately high. I had also eaten about of third of an 85% dark chocolate bar for the caffeine/theobromine, so I had a moderate body stimulant rush going on, too. I hadn’t yet brought out the Oxytocin.

We had sex for a half hour or so. Up until this point, it was pretty standard for us. Enhanced sensuality and body consciousness thanks to the pot, resulting in a slow and passionate build-up to some intense, aggressive penetration that went on until both of us were out of breath and buzzing with energy. She had climaxed a few times; I had not.

While we were catching our breath, I suggested that we take the Oxytocin We each took the recommended dose of one spray per nostril, amounting to 10 IU each. We also smoked a bit more cannabis.

Within two minutes, we both felt noticeably different. Both of us are experienced pot smokers, so we could state with certainty that this was not just due to the additional cannabis.

I felt a kind of mental stillness that I would liken to the feeling of my head ringing after exiting a loud concert. My attention was less easily grabbed by small sounds and other environmental details. As someone who is normally hypervigilant, I would associate this feeling with a decrease in anxiety. It was also, perhaps more tellingly, similar to the 'softening' of consciousness that I experience on MDMA. My perceptions seemed much more grounded in my sense organs themselves rather than distributed around the room. Sensorially, I had come into myself.

Once back in bed, I noticed a decreased desire to talk. My conversation with this relatively new lover doesn’t flow as effortlessly as it would with, say, an old friend or a lover I’ve been with for a while. Much of our chatter is still an attempt to impress or reach each other. These concerns were very distant in this moment. Whether or not she experienced it the way that I did, I felt very close to her merely by being physically close to her. The kind of talking that we would usually do in a moment like this seemed superfluous and abrasive.

One thing that we definitely agreed on was that 'gravity felt much heavier'. Our attempts to get back to the high-intensity love-making from earlier in the night failed and were, to me, very unpleasant efforts. I was acting solely out of a desire to please her, but eventually, I couldn’t even do this. I was having far too good a time just lying next to her and touching as much of my skin to hers as I could. To boot, my erections had become unreliable, despite the fact that I was very present and full of erotic sensations. I was just endlessly loving the act of stroking her body slowly and breathing deeply.

If all of this sounds familiar, it’s because it was: it was like MDMA without the orgasmic rushes of pleasure or the stimulant-derived effects (e.g., talkativeness, desire to move).

We eventually caught my erection at a good time and continued penetration. After I orgasmed, I was flooded with several strong, enduring, and truly wonderful feelings.

The first one I described at the time as 'full-body wholeness'. I felt energy traveling around my entirely body seamlessly. For a while, I had no bones, no knees, no elbows, no joints, no spine. I was a solid body with no organs. Everything was connected – not by its usual ramshackle network of creaky ligaments and overstressed cartilage, but by the fact that it was one solid thing with no holes, gaps, or points of tension. For a moment, I was one of those solid milk chocolate Easter bunnies. I couldn’t help but feel like I was validating Wilhelm Reich’s assertion that orgasm corrects the flow of life energy around the body, rendering it whole. However, this was the first orgasm in a while to do this to me. The only other times I can remember this happening were...well...the two times in my life I’ve orgasmed on MDMA.

I was also supernaturally sedate. Getting up to use the bathroom felt like circumnavigating the globe. I asked my lover to set her alarm clock for me, despite the fact that I was closer to it and probably could have figured it out on my own. I couldn’t even bring myself to reach my arm out to get the glass of water I had set on the bedside table until death by dehydration seemed imminent. I guess part of being solid as a rock is being as heavy as one. But, despite this, I was still very much awake and present to my lover. I was still enjoying holding her and stroking her softly, despite being in an over-the-moon, post-orgasmic rapture. When sleep came, it came gradually and naturally.

And, mannnnnn, did I sleep. Clock-wise, it was only 5 hours, but I never stirred throughout (rare for me). And I woke up feeling completely rejuvenated, despite the evidence of exhaustion sagging under my eyes.

A word about a contraindication: Oxytocin clearly took me out of the mood for high-octane sex. It did not seem to do this to the same extent for my partner. I felt an unspoken tension between us after I gave up trying to do this. The previous times we had been together, rough sex was the order of the day. I would imagine that this is what she called me over for. Unfortunately, I could not provide. Thankfully, the anxiolytic effects of the spray made me fret less about this than I normally would.

No negative effects to report beyond this. I will continue to use the Oxytocin nasal spray as a cheap, legal, and hangover-free MDMA substitute in contexts that call for low-energy, non-verbal intimacy.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 98495
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 29
Published: Apr 22, 2021	Views: 3,886
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Oxytocin (548) : Combinations (3), Sex Discussion (14), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)