Cacti - T. peruvianus
Citation: Hiker. "World on the Back of a Turtle: An Experience with Cacti - T. peruvianus (exp98503)". Erowid.org. Jan 17, 2023. erowid.org/exp/98503
I took the week off work to go on a solo hike on the west coast of Vancouver Island which was badly needed after a chaotic year. My friend who lives on Vancouver Island wanted to go with me, knowing I wanted to do a solo he agreed only to stay for three of the five nights I would be out there. Knowing it would be lonely I wanted his company for the trip. It was cloudy and cool in mid autumn on the coast, and the hike in took about three hours through a poorly maintained trail over roots, ponds, and through ancient old growth trees.
After being there a couple days I decided to take my Peruvian Torch which I'd pre-ground into a powder, I'm not sure the doses, but where I bought it I got two bags of it, a dose in each, according to consensual belief of friends and the seller, one dose wasn't supposed to do very much. My friend P and I usually chat it up about mystical experiences most of the time we're together and elevate each other along our paths, but I don't know what it this time, maybe the gloomy weather, stress from the city or from the year, meanwhile P was going into all kinds of different states. He's always been a bit less blocked up than me, more balanced and capable of helping me out of ruts and helping me understand things.
So back to the mescaline, I boiled the two doses of powdered torch with some water thinking it would be easily drinkable after being warned about how awful the stuff was to eat, but to my surprised I got a pot full of putrid jelly. It took me about an hour to eat half of it, and with one more mouth full I knew I'd puke right away, spitting out the blob onto the sand on the beach where our camp was. P took off into the woods and I followed him thinking I'd finish the other half later. At this point I was starting to feel pretty sick, but I kept it all down until I was sure I was high and then laying on my side while talking peacefully to P I puked my guts out, both of us laughing at the same time. The forest out on the coast was the first thing I noticed, how stunted and gnarled the trees all were and being that olive drab colour, same as the mescaline, how ancient and earthy everything was like this whole plane seems like it's just balancing on the void and still managing to be physical.
I was looking over at the moss covered floor near where the opening to the beach was, where I was visualizing a hippy chick with wild rooty dreadlocks done up behind her head, and I noticed there was something about her I couldn't quite put my finger on as her hair was constantly changing styles. I looked into her seeing an oversoul, a white light with scaly green, olive drab organic fractals coming out of it, ancient and wild like some Saxon/Viking language for the tree of life Yggdrasil, wild and earthy. There was a male consort to this beautiful wild woman, a sort of darker guy with a dark violet charge, a peaceful state which is a sort of baseline state I experience a lot. So we left the woods and went back to the camp on the beach and hung out for a while. Not being able to speak very easily I wanted to go deeper into it, so I told P I was going to go lay in my tent for a while, he nonchalantly said cool.
I had my eyes closed enjoying the presence of this beautiful earthy goddess, and slipping frequently into the oversoul of this new realm which was being activated in me. After about and hour I almost started to go into some astral state or plane, when all of a sudden the whole trip polarized in the opposite direction. I'd entered some demonic plane and there was some highly charged pissed off demon in the form of an Asian gangster and he wanted to fuck me up!!!!! The demon was actually the same colours as my tent, sort of light greyish blue, white, and orange, orange being the colour lining this being's eyes and brows. I could feel its presence through and through, it had an electrical charge like a cornered animal, that had had ten thousand cups of coffee or ten kilos of coke, it was on fire with electricity and its charge or vibrational state could be heard as a high ping like a time bomb about to go off. It seemed as though it had purposely separated itself to such a high degree in order to dominate others. Freaked the fuck out I opened my eyes and started seeing its eyes opening up in the orange lining of the tent, which was strange because I rarely hallucinate while on psychedelics, but I got out of the tent and went to find P.
He was off gathering wood in the forest and getting some food to make from the bear cache. I told him there was a demon in my tent, given how high I was I couldn't really explain too much more, other than that before that I'd been merging with some kind of oversoul in the form of a green goddess. Not being able to really sit still and thinking I'd made a big mistake by taking these drugs, and feeling the presence of the demon, I grabbed the water sac and went to go fill it up in a stream nearby. When I was by the stream I was thinking it was all over, what had I done? I was thinking I was going to have to go back on meds, like I had two years prior due to a psychotic, spiritual transformation, which I'm still going through
I was thinking I was going to have to go back on meds, like I had two years prior due to a psychotic, spiritual transformation, which I'm still going through
, and that my life was basically over at this point, LOL. At the stream I saw the goddess walk away with some other dude, even more despair!
On the way back to the camp as I was walking by the ocean thinking I could just end it, then I was like, no you're not going to do that. At this point the goddess was returning, and sort of easing the demon, and I went and put the water down and went to go find P. I kept flip flopping back and forth between the goddess and the demon, and things were grinding to a halt, I didn't know what to do at this point. I found P and explained this to him and he said just give yourself to it, whenever you flip flop back and forth like that between two polarities they are two halves of the same thing, and just like that I let go, the two halves continued to bounce off of one another, but I was okay. The night was starry and we had a fire, I can remember how the wood looked so wild within the fire as though this whole realm was balanced on some vast void, like a cosmic turtle with the world on its back, or Atlas holding up the world. The demon was basically a negative charge which had been building in me over the past few months due to stress and coffee, and resembled in colour one of the Tibetan wrathful gods. I'd actually been noticing the demon floating around in my psyche in the weeks leading up to this, but it was only by doing mescaline was I able meet the goddess and gain enough of a base, so that I could face this demon, and continue healing.
If I'd gone alone who knows what could have happened, but P was there. The next day we walked out onto a tidal pool area with lots of jagged rocks, but he left later that day and I was there for another two nights on my own. A new realm had been activated, one among many. Getting out of there it was rainy, cold, and my tent was leaking, something major had been balanced out, but I was no longer trying to flee civilization as I had for years. And I realized I'd be lost and lonely without others, and besides, all I was thinking about was pizza and beer.
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