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I Think I Am Losing Control
25I-NBOMe
by whoknows
Citation:   whoknows. "I Think I Am Losing Control: An Experience with 25I-NBOMe (exp98584)". Erowid.org. Feb 7, 2013. erowid.org/exp/98584

 
DOSE:
2 hits sublingual 25I-NBOMe (blotter / tab)

BODY WEIGHT: 125 lb


This experience occurred a few months ago, but I will do my best to retell it accurately. My best friend, who I will refer to as A, and I found ourselves in possession of 4 tabs of 25i-NBOMe from a reputable source. Neither of us had tried it before, and we were excited! I had just moved back to college from a summer in NYC, and it was a beautiful summer day. A and I were very happy to be reunited. All of my previous trips had been with her, and I have always felt a powerful connection with her.

At the time of the experience, I was relatively inexperienced with psychedelics. I had only done LSD one time (++) and mushrooms twice (+++). Nothing could have prepared me for what happened on this day, as we later learned the tabs were double-dipped and for the first time in my life, I overindulged (unknowingly) in a psychedelic. I apologize for the length of this report, but I want to be as detailed as possible.

1:30pm: We each place two tabs under our tongues. WOW this is bitter! My entire mouth feels numb. We leave them in there and head to my friend’s apartment complex a few blocks away to go for a swim in her pool.

2:00pm: Initial effects – tingly sensation, everything looks really pretty. We are extremely giggly and silly. We run into some friends on the way, who stick around for a while. They do not know we are tripping, but it is not difficult at all to converse with them. This is fun! Swimming feels amazing. +

3:00pm: It gets cloudy and looks like it will rain, so we decide to get out of the pool. The instant I step out of the water, I realize that I am TRIPPING. BALLS. I have NEVER felt like this before. The entire world is morphing into a different planet in front of me. I remember looking at my friend and seeing her entire face stretch and morph into a hundred different shapes. I looked at A and said “we need to get home NOW.” +++

We start walking home, and although it is only about 3 blocks in a straight line, we manage to get lost along the way. I am practically blinded by visuals, the street looks like it is stretching into infinity, and the air has a distinct energy or “thickness” to it. Everything has a purple or green hue. After a while of confusion, we stumble home and collapse into the hammock in the backyard. I distinctly remember putting my keys into my lock and seeing hundreds of purple lines that looked like vibrations emitting from the lock.

3:30pm – 6 (?)pm: During this period, I completely lost all sense of time. I did not look at a clock again until 9pm, so the following time stamps are estimates.

A and I laid in that hammock unable to move for hours that felt like eternity. I do not remember most of the peak other than small pieces. I felt very nauseas and uncomfortable – no matter how I laid I kept feeling the need to adjust. My neighbor came out in the early part of this time with a joint, and I took one hit of the weed to calm my nerves and my nausea, but it also sent the visuals to a whole new level so I didn’t smoke any more.

I found myself in a difficult series of thought loops, and I was being very, very hard on myself about some personal issues that didn’t really even make sense when looking back on them the next day. I simply held on and tried to enjoy the visuals, constantly reminding myself “it’s amazing that my mind can do this.” Tracers were multiple feet long, my friend’s faces and skin were various shades of purple. Every clump of leaves on the tree above me turned into various menacing animals – dragons, lions, snakes, etc. The tan chair next to us turned into a pink crocodile. The entire house was stretching miles into the sky and every window was a portal to a different dimension. I specifically remember being able to “feel” the placement of my “third eye” and was aware that everything I was seeing was being seen through that. At one point I even hallucinated a white, spiraling tunnel that I could feel emitting from my forehead and projecting onto the world around me. strong +++

During this time I was going back and forth between being very happy and amazed, to extremely lost, confused, and depressed. I kept thinking that A hated me and that our friendship was a lie, and that every relationship I had was meaningless. I could not verbalize anything; A and I remained in silence for the entirety of this time. Later she told me that she thought she saw God while laying in that hammock and had an extremely spiritual high that spiraled into a bad and confusing trip immediately afterward.

6pm – 8pm: Our initial plan for the trip was to create paintings to decorate our rooms with. Finally we mustered up the strength to go inside and work on them. At this point I still felt like I was peaking, and still practically unable to see due to the visuals. I remained in strange thought loops with the waves of joy versus depression, although painting served as a great outlet and I felt like I had a better handle on my thoughts. I kept thinking, “I’m tripping” over and over again, and the word “tripping” had a very strange connotation that I have never been able to escape since. I started getting upset by the fact that if my someone were to walk in and see us, they wouldn’t know that anything odd was happening – we were just two friends making artwork and listening to music. However, everything was wrong and confusing, I didn’t know what was going on and my world was shattered, how could anyone NOT realize this?!?! My jumbled thoughts continued like this. +++

8pm: A and I finally were able to talk to each other again. We told each other that we were having immense difficulty, and both of us were very unhappy with our paintings. We decided to go on a walk. At this point everything was calming down, and I felt relieved that I got through the most difficult part of the trip. I still was having visual effects, but they were much less intense. I still felt generally uncomfortable and weird, but I felt a bit more like myself again. +++/++

9pm: A and I lay down to watch Workaholics to kill some time for a while. This was my favorite part of the trip, and I had some great personal revelations about life. I felt truly connected to the characters in the show as filmmakers, as a film student myself I really grew to appreciate the show and its production. To this day, Workaholics is one of my favorite shows. +++/++

10pm: Our friend came over and painted with us. We both felt relieved to have a sober, yet experienced tripper, to help talk us through the comedown.

11:30pm: We brave the hammock again. Now it is comforting, and we share some of our experiences from the day. Some of our neighbors come out and chat with us. I still find it incredibly difficult to carry on conversation normally. At this point, most visual effects are gone except for tracers and HD-vision. ++

12:30am: We are both feeling sick and are disturbed that the trip is still continuing. We walk to a diner to get something to eat and try to feel normal again. The diner is in a somewhat sketchy area, and I remember feeling like everyone there was out to get me. I ended up leaving the waiter a 75% tip because I thought he hated me. The next day I realized that I was just in the throws of extreme paranoia.

1:30am: It has now been 12 hours since we dosed. I still feel like I am tripping ++/+, while A said she feels back to baseline. A heads back to her apartment, and I am left to pace around my room in confusion. I feel like my mind has been ripped apart, and I continue to doubt everything that I have ever done or said. I still am confused by my friendship with A and a number of other personal matters that I beat myself up about throughout the day. I am restless and anxious until I finally fall asleep around 4:30am.

The following week was extremely difficult for me. I used to smoke marijuana every day, but afterwards I could not smoke for weeks because I would start feeling like I was tripping again, which led me into anxiety attacks. I feel like I had some sort of post traumatic stress from this experience. I felt like I had developed a social disorder because I could not talk to strangers and I felt like I would have an anxiety attack just looking someone in the eye. After about a week passed, so did these feelings. I finally came to terms with what had happened that day and decided to move on.

25i-NBOMe was NOT a drug to play with. I was turned off from drugs for a few months after that, but recently I tried shrooms and LSD again, and both experiences were glowing. I will never take 25i again, and I strongly advise others to be very careful with it. Perhaps it was just because we were unknowingly dosed with 4 hits of it, but who knows…

PS- the next morning I woke up with the lyrics to a song stuck in my head. I could sing the tune and remember multiple lyrics of the song, the main line being “I think I am losing control”. I can, to this day, even hear the singer’s voice. Yet, I listened to our entire trip playlist over again and googled the lyrics I could remember, and this song does not actually exist. It is yet another thing for me to question about what was and wasn’t real that day – I will never really know.

Exp Year: 2012ExpID: 98584
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: 21 
Published: Feb 7, 2013Views: 25,590
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25I-NBOMe (542) : First Times (2), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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