Citation: Pynike . "Maybe I'll Have a Break Through This Time: An Experience with DMT (exp98773)". Erowid.org. Nov 29, 2017. erowid.org/exp/98773
Five DMT trips / DMT My 1st - 5th Transcendental Experience
DMT is the skydiving of hallucinogenic drugs. Though my drug experience is extremely limited. The effects last merely minutes but seem infinite at times especially when reflecting on the impact of the experience. Apparently the chemical is similar to the compound in our own bodies that causes us to dream and is extremely abundant in nature.
This essay and experience recounting isn't from any scientific standpoint and barely from a poetic standpoint but mainly from an account of a purist. I am writing this almost immediately after my 5th experience with introducing the molecule into my body. So as my findings appear fresh. Currently I am coming off an alcohol buzz from a full stomach of fried green tomatoes, crab-meat, crawfish…and two types of martinis, one of which is a Manhattan, at a bar that would seem classy to an emperor, in downtown Mobile, Alabama. The city I was raised. A city with more than a common ground with the world famous city of New Orleans. Mobile in a lot of ways, especially downtown, is like a mini-New Orleans. Mobile is rainy and can be dreary at times.
Earlier today I experienced DMT trips 4 and 5. Like keeping a dream journal keeping a drug journal is just as tedious since it is very difficult to type while you are asleep and you tend to forget the meat of an experience once you come down from it, but typing out how I feel or writing out how I feel as close to the experience as possible is the closest way of remembering exactly what it is when I inhabited it.
It has been about 5 hours since I came down off a 10 minute trip into another dimension of consciousness. DMT can be described as a transcendental or religious experience. The drug itself even at a high dose only lasts around a maximum of twenty minutes and it is very difficult to walk around during that time since it fully takes over my body and mind.
TRIP 1: (Approximately 4 minutes)
My first experience doing DMT was similar to my first experience kissing a woman, fucking a woman, dancing with a woman, or jumping out of a plane…the butterflies that inhabit my stomach are of the exact same species and only over time of similar experiences can I learn to make these butterflies my friends. Because they never truly go away because the 'fear' of an experience is the only true way I can possibly experience anything really. To be proud of myself when I fully let go and dive strait into the abyss of my emotions and faculties.
A.) A friend of mine claims that out of all the drugs he has tried (many) this is his favorite.
B.) Based on some of my past experiences I am wholeheartedly determined to try for a new experience that may enrich my mind, personality, psyche, and experience of the world as an artist and person.
C.) A girl I am interested in who has no prior drug experiences and basically is what most people would dub as 'a sweetheart' has shown an interest in this particular drug…so I have made it my duty to experience it first so I can inform her what she's planning on getting into.
I am over at a friend of mine's house who has made it his duty to understand this drug to medical intimacy. He has read every account he can, every philosophy book he can, and every medical study he can, and has synthesized this drug himself. If I am to do this drug it is with someone I know who has studied it and understands it in not only a drug doer aspect, but in a medical aspect, and in an artistic aspect…if I am to get 'fucked up', so to speak, with him tonight…I am indeed in great hands. He is my guru.
I take a piss about 3 times and pace in a room to psych myself up into the ritual. He has layered the pipe with DMT crystals and tea leaves (so the DMT has something to burn against and doesn't taste like burning rubber with an herbal after-taste, which it often does anyways) like a parfait. I am left in a dark room.
I used to have a lung disorder and need to perfect my breathing before I start. I barely smoke anything; occasionally cigarettes, cigarillos, rarely cigars, and almost never glass pipes! I have smoked weed maybe 6 times…I do not like it and am not good at smoking. But I do want to try this. The first thing I do is breath all the air out of my lungs. I want to inhale as purely as possible.
As I breath in the taste takes me by surprise. It tastes like burning rubber with a slight, very slight, herbal taste afterward: like burning rubber and a cough drop. It catches me by surprise…I cough almost blowing the bowl out. I don't get any effect. Now I'm upset. My friend runs in and is annoyed I almost coughed out his entire bowl he had tediously packed. I wave him away, light again, put my finger over the tiny air hole in the side of the glass pipe and inhale the burning plant and crystal matter as deeply as I can. The smoke fills my lungs like pins and needles. I breath out slowly and cough and then go cross eyed…I am not sure if it has taken effect. I hit it again then set the pipe down…
My friend has stucco walls. The ceiling begins to extend. The image of a cat made out of the reflections of a rainbow in a prism reflect atop the now 13 ft tall ceiling. (Previously in reality only about a 7 ft tall ceiling) The cat begins to laugh at me. I think it 'has' taken effect. I laugh at the whole experience. I've never felt anything like this before. I am 'literally' seeing a cat made out of a rainbow whispering jokes from a growing ceiling laughing at me in a playful cat way. I can't stop laughing. Reality is absurd. What is the meaning of life?
The cat disappears. I stumble out of the empty room, my skin still feels slightly numb and my friends are laughing at me. I didn't go into another dimension but I did meet a being from that dimension…a friendly cat, made of rainbows, who liked to tell jokes. I name him skippy…they laugh. The spirit in the sky. Nothing is ever quite like one's 'first' experience with anything worth experiencing.
TRIP 2: (Approximately 6minutes)
It is the same night. Several friends of mine are over and take turns with this ritual…describing the experience and then just hanging out together. My friend packs the bowl again determined that I'll; 'have a breakthrough experience' apparently the cat was the guardian at the gate, the threshold I need to make through. I take another piss…practice my breathing, go into the quiet empty room again and start my breathing. I take a hit, the smoke burns, but I continue to hit the drug until I can't see strait.
The room turns black and red. My hands begin to echo only black and red. My hands are black and the echos when I wave them are bright red. The ceiling, floor, and walls begin to dance and move to the tune of a bad humming in my hearing…a humming as if mystics are trying to imitate tribal drums using only tuning forks as instruments.
The ceiling, floor, and walls begin to dance and move to the tune of a bad humming in my hearing…a humming as if mystics are trying to imitate tribal drums using only tuning forks as instruments.
An almost wild indescribable song as if 1,000 bees are making love inside of a steel drum. A wild hum my body-clock tries to align to. The ceiling fan grows eyes and a mouth and begin to laugh at me. I am slightly upset. The walls almost break open into another dimension of light but quickly close as the ceiling fan begins to mock me. I come down off the drug. The ceiling fan was an effective guardian.
I am determined to try to walk out of the room and talk to my friends while still high once I regain feeling in my legs. My walks echo and then calm down. I sit on a bench. My friends high five me and ask me to describe what I experienced. DMT isn't exactly a vicarious drug. But I attempt to describe my feelings while feeling after coming down feeling quite wonky, weird, and unusual. I need some warm water. This was weird.
TRIP 3: (1 Minute)
My friends have gone through the circle again…a few of them have left. I'll give it a try. It's the last available crystals in the bowl. The very last of the scrapings. I sit in a room with a black and white mandala on the wall in an almost empty bedroom in an awkward chair. (Apparently setting is key) I hit the pipe as hard as I've every tried anything…the bowl is spent. The mandala moves in a wave about once and then stops. I'm back to sobriety. I didn't come close to having the breakthrough mystics experience…but I've had something this evening. But still not even close…I am curious for more.
TRIP 4: (10 Minutes) On another evening many months later.
I am on vacation. I am told a friend of mine might have DMT. It takes me a week but another friend of mine asks about it. And he does have it. Eureka! I had spent the previous afternoons hitting the head-shops with a buddy of mine who loves the stuff looking for the 'perfect' DMT pipe. Maybe I'll cross the threshold this time. But I am determined to have another experience on this trip worthy of the term 'experience'.
The pipe is a short green and clear thing with a guide hole and an area for water to be stored in. It's about 3 1/2 inches tall. A very small thing but apparently will do the trick nicely. We've just had a lunch at a classy fusion place in town. My buddy mentions in a wry kind of way asking my other friend if he has 'the stuff' and he admits he does and is eager to have an experience. We buy, sodas, beer, and a bread pudding with caramel sauce to bring back to his place while we get high and watch old cartoons. We swing by my friend's house, pack the pipe, and head to my second friend's house.
After we get back to my friend's house my other friend packs the bowl with a heavy does of DMT crystals and peppermint tea. This drug is very hard to hit and the more in the bowl the 'easier' it is to have an experience even if all of the drug isn't really used, it helped to pack more than truly needed.
My friend whose house and DMT it was hit the drug first and it hit hard to the point he can't even describe it to us. But the hit only lasted about 3 minutes. A full body high to which he almost lost his body he says but can describe nothing more.
I take a sip of beer, pee, a bite of bread pudding, and try to calm myself while my friend over-packs the second bowl.
My friend has a dog. I am scared the dog might frighten me or interfere with my trip. But my friend has an empty room in the back of his house. When we go in turns we pack crystals on top of the unburnt crystals from the previous user. It's a way to layer on the experience. My throat is raw. I was sick the night before, although that may help my lungs absorb the molecule quicker and without a fight. I brought lozenges. I figure they may help me breath in deeper. I take one, walk into the back room, the door is closed behind me, and it is just me and the pipe…and the universe.
I pluck up the courage. I've done this before…maybe I'll have a break through this time.
The lozenge blocks the horrible DMT taste. I hit it, nothing. I hit it again. Still nothing. I hit it a third time…I won't give up, I hit it a forth, a fifth…I begin to go cross eyed. Still not working. I hit it again and I begin to go cross-eyed more and see a very tiny orb dance in the middle of my vision. I set the pipe down. 'Maybe if I concentrate on the orb I'll get higher.' I lose feeling in my legs. I begin to hear that humming sound. I concentrate on the orb just out of my focus. I still don't 'truly' feel it. I begin to drool on myself.
I can't help myself even though I try. Maybe I'm dreaming. The drool becomes larger, more viscous as if my entire face and body are melting off…well this is unusual…but not painful (I've lost my sense of touch accept my body clock is humming and my sense of sight is out of focus and muddled)…maybe I'm dreaming. I try to walk. The floor melts beneath my feet. 'Well that was a bad idea.'
The door in the room begins to sink into the floor. The the floor grows fog, it grows like a time-lapse photography of hair growing, but fog, smoke, and mist and the mist begins to form unusual patterns. I drool on myself more. I'm scared maybe I've made a fool of myself. My eyes get wet. I can now taste the rubbery taste much more. I stumble out of the room wobbling with every step. I set the glass pipe down and take a drink of soda from the counter to wash the terrible taste out of my mouth…I describe the experience to my friends. I point out the drool on my shirt. My friends laugh.
The floor became as quicksand. I drooled on myself and a fog appeared and created a mandala like pattern…I'm still not sure I had a breakthrough. But man was that intense.
TRIP 5: (11 Minutes)
My friend decided to go into the same quiet room as I earlier did. About ten minutes later he walks out and says that I must go again and that he's never experienced anything like that quite in his whole life and he can't really describe it. His body broke into particles and he flew across the universe. Three things are apparent. These crystals are good. Overpacking the bowl is a good thing. And layering the bowl from previous users crystals to newer crystals compound the effects.
There is a room in his house that has a glowing orange light in it with a comfortable couch. This might be the room to try in. My friends politely head outside. I am wished luck on the other side.
I cough, take a cough drop, and hit the pipe. Nothing. I hit it again. Nothing…oh wait. I didn't block the air in tiny air guide hole in the pipe. I cover up the hole with my index finger and hit around 3 or 4 more times not caring how it tastes or feels and only determined to stop hitting the pipe when I almost completely lose focus. I loose feeling in my hands and go cross-eyed. I determined that this is probably the time to set the pipe down. So far I'm just cross-eyed. Nothing happens. Then I see a slight tapestry of reflected orange light on the ceiling. Not much of a pattern. Then about every inch or so appears like a glass mirror in the ceiling reflecting orange lights back and forth like a living breathing kaleidoscope of orange mirrored reptile scales and I begin to laugh…but my laughter becomes the pitch of a saxophone. So I continue to laugh uncontrollably and my humanity takes the best of me. 'What if my friends can hear me laughing. How silly I might sound.' But I continue to laugh. I sound like Charlie Brown's mom. I continue laughing, then subside.
This experience is ridiculous.
But as I begin to come down I walk out of the room and set the pipe down on the kitchen counter. I can't find my friends in the house…oh wait, they're probably outside smoking or something. So I walk outside. 'How was it?' my Friend asks. Then it dawns on me that I'm still high. 'Oh man I can still smell it on your breath, you are still tripping. Look at how dilated his eyes are man.' They tell me that the weather is quite dreary outside but all the of the green colors of nature outside are an off hue emerald green and a scary bare wood tree off in the distance looks like the fibers of lung tissue and is dancing like seaweed. I can barely stand and talk and I begin to loose focus looking at just how beautiful a shade of green the outside world is made of.
As I sober up the world goes from emerald green to olive green and we sit back down in the living room, relax, and watch old cartoons. As one of my friends suggests how funny it would be to have walked-in and see me drooling on myself I begin to laugh as such an absurd mental image comes to mind. The laughter is compounded by the residual DMT in my system. But eventually I come down.
I am not sure what the threshold for this drug should be. But I am sure that it in a concentrated dose should be a major part of the human experience. And one not to be taken lightly but one not to be missed.
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