DOSE:	2 hits	oral	LSD	(liquid)
	300 ug		LSD

BODY WEIGHT:

10 st

Date of writing 19/02/2013
Context :
I am an 18 year old male and 4 days ago I had the most profound, life changing and enjoyable experience of my life. This was my first acid trip, I have previously used MDMA, 2CB and Ketamine and I smoke a lot of weed. Over the past few months I have done a lot of important growing up, and although I have always done a lot of thinking about the big questions, and often thought I had a lot of answers, recently things have seemed to start making a lot more sense. In 2 days I leave my life behind to go travelling for 5 months.

It was a crisp, sunny spring morning In a country town in western England. The sun was out and there were just enough clouds in the sky to provide some hallucinatory fuel later. The town is fairly small and it is easy to get out into a beautiful, green countryside in any direction on foot. A local hill was the destination, about an hours walk from my friend H's house on foot along an abandoned canal and the river Severn. 2 of my best friends were going to accompany me on this trip.

H is my smoking friend, he has little experience with drugs other than weed. I took him to Sheffield with me once on a night out where he tried MDMA for the first and only time so far. It was the best night of his life and has changed his attitude towards drugs beyond weed. He is eager to experience everything he can despite never often having the opportunity due to a demanding girlfriend with zero interest in these fields and a busy work schedule.

L is more experienced. Over the last year we have under gone a lot of learning, taking 2CB a few times each and MDMA together many times. Only weeks before this we had spoken endlessly about our near obsessive interest in LSD whilst mashed out of our minds in London. Days later I get the text, a dealer in Sheffield has some liquid acid. My brother who lives there picks it up and after I visit him I return with 5 hits. Lack of access to a fridge I can hide it in, I store it in my cupboard. I was a little worried about degradation but it turned out not to be a problem.

The Trip :
In an unbelievably excited mood I prepare a bag with food and water and pack my guitar in its hard case to take on the journey. L arrives first and we discuss how best to take it as it had come in liquid form but in baggies, so we were worried about spillage and practically. In the end we just decide to dump the baggies into glasses of water. H arrives and drives us to his house where we prepare the acid. As we are preparing his mum walks and sees what she thinks is an empty weed baggy, which shit us up a little bit, but she is unbelievably sound about it, and we have previously discussed her dream to grow shrooms, so no lingering bad vibes were caused. Me and L both have 2 hits and H has 1, which proved a bad idea later, I prefer everyone take the same amount if tripping together to avoid any imbalance, as I've found such seemingly unimportant things can prove to cause tension later in the trip.

After dropping we immediately set off chatting about what we were expecting and how soon we thought it might settle in. Only 5 minutes later we all agree we are feeling strange, and after assuming it is probably a placebo, we realise we are feeling the same things, a subtle wave of fatigue. This could be due to the route of administration. We all washed the acid laced water round our mouths, so it's possible it entered our system quicker than expected. Anyway, just as we leave the streets and enter the country path next to the old canal we begin to notice sharpness, contrast and colour in everything alongside a feeling of warmth and energy. The clouds are beginning to twist, and it is only half an hour since dropping. Our excitement builds. The inner warmth and energy continues as moss on the canal begins to shift and breathe. Trees lining the path begin to bend across the path and I remember commenting 'Nature is hugging us. This is going to be a good day.' The vibes were strong.
H doesn't seem to be having quite as good a time, so I offer him the kief I had collected in my grinder in a bong, which he willingly accepts. Immediately this seems to improve his trip and mood, which pleased us all. During this brief pause I play a little guitar and we chat about how beautiful everything is.

As we walk and the effects grow stronger we all begin speaking in such poetic ways, commenting on abstract parts of everyday things and at a few points L feels he had been looking at himself and felt his consciousness present in many locations, probably the first signs of ego loss, but at this point we just thought it was an hilarious, interesting effect. We walked past a small transformer which we all decided blighted the landscape, so we moved on quickly to avoid such human corruptions of the land. Despite no rain and never having seen a stream there before, water seemed to be flowing across the mud in our path. At one point we came across an electricity pylon, which, in its overgrown forest setting seemed to me like the work of an ancient, forgotten civilisation.

This area is where Tolkein wrote the Lord of the Rings books, and as we walked we realised how similar to The Shire our surroundings seemed, so we all laughed about this being our fellowship and our grand adventure. As we commented on how the trip restored the wonder in our hearts we used to have as children and H climbed a fallen tree, a dog walker cycled past. For some reason we felt the need to cover up for why we were off the beaten track, climbing trees and giggling so as he approached we commented on the extent of the muddiness of the path, as if to explain why we were in a tree. He replied 'It only gets better' which completely blew all of our minds, and convinced us that he was simply a benevolent hallucination, a theory I am still considering could be true.

We finally reach the bottom of the hill, where usually we take a long route round in order to find a shallower slope up. In our inspired state of mind we headed straight up, which despite the heavy guitar and acid in our heads didn't prove difficult, despite its steepness and height. The acid was urging us up the hill... we rose as the effects of the acid did, which we all thought was amazing, and really brought a great vibe to the climb. When we reached the summit I found it difficult to look behind, as if the world was too beautiful. The sun was low in the sky and the landscape was rolling over and over into the distance. We all thought it looked like a snow globe, but it was infinitely more beautiful than that. There was an awkward phase where H tried to have another hash bong, but the wind just blew most of it away, so I had to stand up and block it with my coat, which was a little scary due to the steepness of the hill. Eventually we got this done and I got my guitar out. L seemed to be in his own world and whenever I asked him how he was he seemed amazed but confused, nodding, wide eyed and saying things like 'I can't believe it' but also agreed it was the happiest he had ever been.

We looked down across the path we had conquered and all felt extremely positive about what we had done, and how much it had contributed to the positivity of the trip. Although we could never really finish sentences about the profound insights we were experiencing we did not really get frustrated. My brother who had not yet taken any acid rang us at this point as I had text him earlier in the day. The idea of communicating with someone so far away blew my mind, and despite wanting to relay as much information as I could I never really managed to finish any sentences without trailing off into something else. I remember saying I felt spiritual unity and that this was the happiest I had ever been and LSD was amazing though, all of which was true.

A mountain biker rode past at some point, which caused a little bit of tension that soon resolved itself, but my brother eventually hang up as he couldn't deal with our confused ramblings any longer. I felt like I was in heaven at the top of that hill. The clouds seem to embrace me, and the setting sun glowed a benevolent gold, with lashing tentacles reaching out and stroking the earth causing waves in the entire landscape. I was completely at peace, I felt like I had reached heaven, if briefly, and I had a lot more sympathy for the Hindu systems if belief, which I had studied with much scepticism during my A-levels.
It was at this point that I was finally able to piece together some sort of unifying theory with all the thoughts that were running through my head, despite not having truly peaked, although we were already around 3 hours into the trip.

Everything in the universe is one. A grand piece of celestial fabric, composed of vibrating energies of varying intensities. These energies almost seem like particles, but of a 5th dimension of some kind. Any output in the world... a guitar chord, a sentence, a movement, the suns rays; is simply a coalescence of energies in this fabric. They are knots in the material, constructed in such a way as to appear to be that specific output. The denser the energies, the more powerfully it can effect the energies around it, causing larger ripples... ripples which force other energies into closer proximity. As a greater and greater number of these ripples and waves meet, forcing energies to move in different ways and create new waves, the shapes become more and more complex, forming not waves but the geometric spirals any fan of hallucinogenic drugs will be familiar with. When energies move to one place, where joy and love will be found, holes are left where negativity will take hold... some constructions of waves will be smooth and blissful, full of light, whilst other will be full of gaping holes, and the shapes will be sharp and dark. Everything seemed so dualistic, but yet so cyclical which is something only really experienced whilst on acid, and I cannot recreate with my vocabulary. Eventually these shapes become so complex as to form the universe we usually perceive. I feel LSD is the most dense coalescence of these energies and that as this energy floods through the core particle in any human, the spirit, the knots in the world begin to be massaged out in my perceptions... things become simpler, my senses melt into one, everything around me begins to deconstruct into the essence of the universe, the fabric. After this realisation the entire trip became a series of realisations about how everything I was seeing was fitting into this blueprint and being euphoric about my understanding.

At this point H received a text from his parents saying he was going to be having a free house later that night, which we felt was a sure sign of the benevolent nature of the universe. It was getting cold and the sun was just about to drop behind some hills, so we decided to follow it down.

Despite my revelations at the top of the hill I was still not peaking, although my open eye visuals were incredibly strong and I saw the whole world in this blueprint, it wasn't until we had made it back down to the canal that I peaked. I entered another dimension, I suppose it could be called the void. My vision had completely whited out with the densest cluster of energy, I was seeing the entire universe at once, yet I was still able to manoeuvre in the world by feeling the textures of the many waves of energy rippling over me. My ego had totally melted. I remember saying 'I am no longer using words to construct sentences, I am simply using them as a means of conveying vibrations through the universal consciousness.' L and H both understood, L a little more so I felt.

H lives in fairly rough area, and at one point we walked past some teenagers who begun shouting and throwing gravel at a house, I think they were having an argument with someone in it, but just before we got there they were silent. H began speaking about how he didn't have time for dick heads, but I realised they were the product of forces they had never encountered, simply knots constructed by waves of energy released by every other energy in the universe... they were bad vibrations, but it was not their fault... I called them cosmic farts. Despite many cars and people passing us, including a police car, at no point was I worried... I was probably too comfortable... too at peace for my own good.

As we approached H's house we realised his parents were still in, which worried L slightly, but I knew them well and I was feeling too positive, and was convinced they would just be glad of how I was feeling. So we enter the house, and retreat to H's room after some brief hello's. H stays and chats to them for a while, and his dad came and played guitar in the in the living room right outside H's room which pleased me greatly. H's dog came in and I felt it was on my level, and was at peace... I loved it more than I had loved any animal... it seemed to have a sense of the grand proceedings that were occurring and it showed more affection than usual. H's mum offered us food but none of us were hungry. H reveals his mum knows we are messed up on something as we were behaving strange but I didn't feel too bad about it, even if I should have done. Eventually they went out and we had the house to ourselves.

At this stage the trip definitely began coming down in many senses. My exhausted brain found it more difficult to complete thought cycles, and although I was definitely still tripping hard and enjoying it, it was distinctly less good than before which was disappointing. After an hour of laughing and thinking, H revealed that his girlfriend had text him and wanted to meet him. She is always very demanding of him, and he never spends a day without seeing her. He is forced to lie in order to get time off to ever see me and she is not happy about the amount of weed he smokes. He also revealed at this stage she didn't know he had taken acid. He also didn't know the acid was going to last this long, but had managed to convince himself he was feeling it less as he wanted to drive and meet his girlfriend. He used the fact he had only had one hit as leverage to convince me he was fine to drive, but his pupils were still huge and I knew he was still tripping... I could feel it.

Having planned to stay up the hill until late to avoid seeing anyone we would have to speak to, being told we were going to have to leave his house despite the fact we were still tripping and were back in civilisation was terrifying. He had forced us to descend from heaven because he had a haven for us to retreat to, and then as a result of his girlfriend he was kicking me and L out. It was terrible. I essentially had to have an argument with him, whilst in the midst of the greatest experience of my life. Eventually after a lot of bad vibes I convinced him not to drive. He said he'd managed to get another hour to stay. I took what I could. I decided as there were no working speakers in H's house, I would like to put my head phones in and listen to some music. We all entered some sort of hibernation in our own worlds completely.

Again I returned to void the with beautiful, closed eye visuals revealing primal truths to me. I leapt to my feet at the end of Servo by The Brian Jonestown Massacre. It ends with the singer saying 'What next?' which seemed deeply profound to me. The whole H's girlfriend situation had left bad vibes in the air, and me and L had been forced to confront leaving, whilst H was forced to confront not leaving... both of our plans had been changed multiple times and we were left in a state of inactivity, a sort of limbo. After all the revelations that had come to me during this hibernation period where we all retreated behind closed eyes and headphones, I wanted to spout all the things I had learnt, but H was in his bed and L still had his earphones in. I felt like shutting my eyes, curling up into a ball and not moving, whilst the most powerful musical experience of my life fed my spirit so much energy I had placed a plug where the energy once flowed out of me freely. This energy continued to build to almost unbearably intense levels. Pulling my head phones out and standing up had removed this plug, and I needed to something with the energy to flush it out, but there were no conversations to be had, so I put the kettle on, obviously. L joined me in the kitchen to make the tea, after a while. From the kitchen we saw amazing flickering colours and noticed the light was off in the living room. L investigated and it appeared H had put on the Lord of the Rings : Fellowship of the Ring.

Turns out H had been having a very bad trip about the proceedings with his girlfriend and the conflict with me and L, but eventually realised he was still tripping too hard and had clearly noticed the limbo we had found ourselves in as I had. Putting on Lord of the Rings not only brought back the most positive memories from the trip earlier, but committed us to a long activity, the limbo was over and we could return to the communal and beautiful acid experience. It was such a bold move for the direction of the trip, and I was so happy. I apologised for the bad vibes, and we were all happy again. I continued to spot the geometric blueprint of the universe in the storyline of the film, as well as reading deeply into all elements. I also noticed similarities between myself and Frodo. The loss of innocence during the things I had seen that day, as well as the beginning of a large journey were things Frodo seemed to be going through. Gandalf seemed to be the wisest acid tripper ever, and the ring clearly symbolised addiction and heroin, a topic we had covered earlier in the day. We realised the potential for acid to bring cycles of addiction to an end, despite not really having any addictions ourselves. Watching a film on acid was such an enjoyable experience, it restored peace. By the end of the film I was almost even again, and me and L walked home after saying a deep goodbye to H. L went to meet his girlfriend who was out clubbing and I went home. I had a fairly uncomfortable descent into sleep, writhing for what felt like hours tripping alone with no vent, and in the morning I felt insane. I did not know how to reintegrate into the normal world with the knowledge I had, but I slowly pieced it together.

I now feel a profound sense of spiritual relief and I enjoy all art much more than I ever have before. It was a life changing experience like none other, but I won't be able to do acid again for a while. It felt exhausting, it was a fucking big deal, and cannot be undertaken lightly. I also realised I need to cut back on MD and weed, powerful psychoactive substances can be used to reach higher levels of energy in my spirit, but creating a higher level of energy in my spirit will take away energy from other places. I can still enjoy them, but it does not feel right to use them so regularly. There are too many depths to explore in one trip report, but these are the main revelations turning points. I feel that research on acid helps prepare one for the experience. H's experience was directly effected in a negative way by his lack of pre understanding, and even L and I could have done without a bit more preparation for our journey to the void and back, but now I feel ready for anything.


Date of writing 01/11/13
Reflections :
Almost a year later, I have returned from my travels, spent a long and beautiful summer exploring myself and my relationships to the world through psycho actives and gaining knowledge and experience. I have fairly recently started studying Film and Screenwriting at university, and during fresher's week I took acid again for the 2nd and most recent time. My thought processes have been forever altered by this experience... every single vibe I encounter, can always be observed with the eyes that saw the light... every new piece of knowledge I am presented with I think about in a much more simple yet intelligent way. Although at times the knowledge I feel I gained through this trip may affect me negatively... I may become stuck in a thought loop and not be able to properly conclude points sometimes, I might trivialise things I used to value much more greatly now and I feel frustrated by my inability to speak on these terms with most people sometimes for fear of sounding deluded, but inside I am a much happier person, a more thoughtful person and I am certainly grateful for the experience over all.
My second acid trip bought the yin to this trips yang... where my first was about looking out at the world, in as grand a scale as it was practically possible for me to achieve whilst under the influence of acid, my second trip was an introspective and self reflective indoor experience with not a lot of moving. I feel it is important to note as it certainly seemed to bring a great amount of satisfaction to me to fulfil this balance and complete this particular cycle in my life.

Looking back I was young and naive at the time of my acid trip, although I understand the constant change and flow of the universe and that I will reflect on myself now one day in the same light, there was a great many adolescent tendencies in my personality at that stage, which have been stripped away by the flow of time. During my travels and return to a circle of friends who were the same but being seen through very, very different eyes I underwent a process of significant maturity which enhanced my second trip a lot. I began to resent the adolescence of my old friends, and then of the new friends I desired to make at university. I found the abundant drinking to numb social anxieties; brutish, Neanderthal behaviour of lads around me and the highly malicious and sly behaviour of girls around sad to witness and frustrating. I couldn't help feeling like a snob and resented my ego for building these barriers between people because I didn't blame them for any of it. I understand just like those lads pelting pebbles at a window, that the people around me and myself are just products of our inputs. I am not proud of anything I do well, just glad and I don't blame anyone for anything they do wrong, I am just unhappy. But when I was alone in a new place and also seeked the approval they did, my patience was tested and I began to regret even going to uni if this was all it was going to offer. So my second acid trip came at a very important time and instead of climbing the peaks of nature, I descended into the very deepest troughs of my subconscious to attack my ego and attempt to consciously change to fit in more for the benefit of wider social circles.

Me and my friend N are now the psychedelic adventurers. Noonan has followed a very similar trajectory to me in a very large number of levels. Although only starting to become friends at the start of my year out between college and university, we immediately became close, he had recently started exploring MDMA usage and had been smoking for a very long time. He also went travelling and lived in a foreign country for a large amount of time and is studying a very similar course to me in the same university. Despite always being interested in psychedelics he only actually got around to tripping for the first time a few weeks before university started, he jumped in the deep end with acid and had 4 tabs leftover for another time.
Me and N meet in a shit bar in Sheffield slightly drunk and slightly stoned, the music is adequate but the atmosphere is abysmal. We swiftly retire to the smoking area as per the usual, and make plans to head to his flat to smoke and trip. After hours of indecision we both drop 300ug, feeling ridiculous to be considering tripping on acid during freshers week still in full flow. But as I say, I struggled with freshers week and this was essentially me hitting the self destruct button on it.
The usual and previously described onset of warmth, colour, unity and joy proceeded whilst the new tripping palace was taken in. The paintings, the floor, the shape of the room settled in to become my home for the next 8 hours. As I watched N rise in warmth faster than me I began to feel nauseous. So I crawl onto his bed and curl up in a ball whilst I let the trip wash over me. As I start to feel the same brilliant euphoria as at the top of the hill, I request my favourite album of all time. Neutral Milk Hotel's In the Aeroplane Over the Sea holds so much value to me it can't be expressed in words, it's a beautiful masterpiece and I love it dearly. Thus commences the 5 hour incubation period that it took me to be completely reborn. Barely moving, rarely speaking and seldom opening my eyes I lay curled up in an egg. The most beautiful things I have ever seen, the most deep and primal truths that i don't hasten to speak of in words for the lack of power words have in this realm. The particular knot of the fabric that was me unfurled to wrap the entire cosmos and i saw everything in me and me in everything. I understood the identity I had to maintain as part of the constant progression towards complete equality and unity. I saw my self as a distinct and complete piece of an infinitely large puzzle... although I still find it to comprehend or ask others too, this complete individual identity as well as total ego loss existed together in harmony. This sense of identity, of ego and at the same time as accepting others differences and perhaps mistakes allowed me to become a much happier person in social scenarios and has made me a lot more patient.

I kept thinking of 2001 : A Space Odyssey. About the nature and trajectory of evolution. About the Starchild, as an avatar of progression and emitter of good vibes. When I was in that space I felt like a starchild. The word Starchild become a mantra to describe the one energy... the light at the end of the tunnel. When a conversation inevitably spiralled into confusion because the concepts melt into one consciously I would simply use the word Starchild as a coping mechanism and conclusion to the sentence. I thought of all the StarChildren of the universe and of all the different levels the word had. I feel like I have been given exactly the insights I needed from the universe at that point to make me as happy as possible, and new insights about the drug itself as a tool for rebirth, of turning chapters in ones life.

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 99322
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Apr 19, 2026	Views: Not Supported
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