Citation: vostochnik. "Habitual Combinations: An Experience with Methoxetamine (exp99359)". Erowid.org. Dec 21, 2013. erowid.org/exp/99359
First of all, as it seems standard practice for experience reports, especially summaries, I'll start with my general experience with substances. I have smoked cannabis for most days out of the past 9 years, temporarily going on hiatus for the last two months while I search for a job. I enjoy tripping (tryptamines being my favorite by far) and have taken magic mushrooms (no less than 5-8 grams) many times, LSD twice, metocin (4-HO-MET) dozens of times, miprocin twice, metocin with miprocin once; 2-CB four times, and mescaline twice. I have rolled on extremely pure, undeniably pure MDMA twice, while having eaten rolls about 20 times. I am not big into pharmaceuticals, as I have been treated with various benzodiazepines, Xanax currently, for years. I have dabbled once or twice with cocaine and heroin. And, as for dissociatives, I have tripped on DXM three not so pleasant times, ketamine a handful of times, and methoxetamine extensively. I must say that cannabis is my favorite, although nowadays I get overwhelmed a bit by the high. Its safety, gentleness and groundedness combine to make for a fun, organic substance that tends to be very forgiving. Outside of that I rank DMT and magic mushrooms/metocin as my second favorite, only because tripping can't (shouldn't) be done as often as cannabis with success. In a very, very close third is the general class of dissociatives, with ketamine being my favorite and methoxetamine my close second favorite and most often used substance.
Also, I am a 27-year-old gay male, 115lbs. With that out of the way, I wanted to share my observations on a few different subjects regarding methoxetamine. I haven't found reports of its use in conjunction with pharmaceuticals, which I was admittedly abusing quite often for a few months last year. I have also never found any experience reports of extremely high-dose methoxetamine, and I have a couple things to say about that, including some stern advice stemming from a couple of extremely disquieting experiences.
Well, first of all, methoxetamine, in my research, has always been noted for its mu-opioid receptor activity and ability to effectively increase the potency of opiates and similar narcotics. I noticed that this is personally very true. Combining methoxetamine with methadone allowed me to only need about half of my standard dose of (recreational) methadone. Opiates also seem to affect methoxetamine, vastly reducing the inclination to keep redosing. More on that later. Lighter opiates such as oxycodone and hydrocodone were also potentiated by methoxetamine, but the highs seemed to blur together, the opiate adding to the methoxetamine ride, rather than giving rise to a synergy, as with methadone combined with methoxetamine. Again, I must stress that opiates taken with methoxetamine are greatly potentiated, which absolutely makes for a bit of a dangerous experiment, if one is not familiar with both substances. That being said, methoxetamine and methadone made for an absolutely amazing experience the handful of times that I tried it. Opiates seem to enhance the psychedelic qualities of MXE, also adding to the dissociative warmth, producing an experience somewhat similar to ketamine, but lasting for hours. And again, and most importantly, one good dose of MXE (for me, intranasally, about 70mg each time) is all I feel compelled to consume. This stands in contrast to my tendency to redose methoxetamine alone, sometimes quite compulsively and shamefully. Again, more on that in a bit.
I have noticed an interaction with benzodiazepines, being prescribed Valium at the time of my methoxetamine usage. My full dosage of Valium (15mg) all at once would generally calm and assuage the effects of MXE, making it possible to go to sleep and stop binging and staring at objects like the couch or my lamp, mystified and confused. Lower doses of Valium seemed just to mellow out the experience. Benzodiazepines did not reduce my urge to redose, although I have read that benzodiazepine administration has been shown to be neuroprotective against brain damage from dissociatives, mainly showing strength as a protector against NMDA receptor Acute Neurotoxicity (NAN). This is probably what made me feel safe with some of the following experiences, which range from normal curiosity to hideous, unintentional and unconscious binging.
On one occasion I took some MXE while tripping on metocin (4-HO-MET). It degraded the wonderful, classic tryptaminic nature of the metocin, morphing the visuals into confounding undecipherable still-frame images. The elation of tripping (in its purest form, in my opinion) was downgraded to only slightly spaced and confused by the MXE while retaining very little of the sensory hyper-awareness of the metocin. Not recommended whatsoever.
On another occasion, three nights before I left the city of my college to go back home, a couple friends and I decided to have a go at a modified kittyflip. We acquired some very decent quality rolls (MDMA and caffeine, 4:1) and all took a line of MXE about 15 minutes after the rolls began to work their magic. The sensation of having multiple orgasms all over one's skin disappeared. There was a distinct mellow, relaxed feeling, and the outpouring of emotions remained intact, but overall the experience seemed degraded.
For the first three dozen times I took methoxetamine I was very patient when waiting for the come-up and very in control when it came to redosing and taking booster bumps. Back then I could have a nice thing going with 30mg, a very interesting exploration with 50mg, and a balls-to-the-wall party of one with 75-100mg.
I honestly don't think that my tolerance grew much, rather I pushed it to the limits and hallmarks I later reached. 75-100mg initially would always still space me out a lot, with auditory reprogramming and some minor visual effects. And, most of all, the urge to dance.
Well, ordering MXE from a chemical supplier on the internet and having moved out of my parents' house and into a house with a roommate/friend allowed me to push some chemical boundaries. As a very infrequent yet admiring user of MXE (which was always supplied by me), my roommate has a somewhat better perspective and infinitely better recollection of some of my experiences with methoxetamine.
I would always order 3.5g, and never too frequently (once every other month, generally) at a very agreeable price. In the beginning, I would share mild doses to those interested and sell 150mg 'kits,' always cautioning that amount to be enough for three dissociative trips. At this point I was actually making more money from MXE than I was spending on it. Naturally, my usage and frequency of use gradually rose. The increase was subtle for a while, then grew exponentially by the time I eventually made myself discontinue use.
Somewhere in the middle of this timespan, I became convinced that redosing didn't always necessarily lengthen the experience and was able to supplement with modest bumps of 10-25mg. My redosing eventually became necessity, the doses increasing to astronomical levels.
The last several times I used methoxetamine, my initial doses grew to an astonishing 90-140mg lines, which was enough to make my roommate friend to become somewhat worried. I must note that this friend was the best kind of sitter and cohort, gently recollecting my actions that I could not remember and only very patiently and kindly suggesting that I take it easy. Well, it got to the point where I was barely breaking even, between my sales and consumption. My inital doses stayed the same, although weighing in generally closer to 120mg. Redosing was a constant and got me into some very tricky and confusing 'm-holes.'
These holes were characterized by complete sensory numbing, moderate depersonalization, and worst of all, memory blackouts that lasted hours. And these binges came with no ill after-effects, convincing me that I was still being safe. One night, my roommate observed me standing in my bedroom, holding my lamp in one hand and robotically moving it back and forth, from side to side, quite nonsensically. I have no memory of this, and my friend told me that I looked zombified. The alarming experience that I do remember was the most disorienting two hours of my life. I remember trying to wander through the house, frequently getting 'stuck' in doorways and hallways. It seemed like there were halls of mirrors on both. Sides of me, and I was quite timid to the idea of trying to navigate them. When I eventually thought that it was necessary to venture out into the confusion, out of the necessity for food, I felt like a spy, slowly robo-walking my way behind corners and pausing, until eventually reaching the kitchen. Once this had been accomplished, I opened the refrigerator door, only to find a jumbled-up view of one of the walls of my bedroom inside. My paintings and the posters I bought and decorated my room with were there but out of order. I stared in confusion, trying to piece this mental blizzard together for probably 10 minutes with the refrigerator wide open. On a different blackout occasion, I apparently turned the thermostat up to 83 degrees F, in the dead of a triple-digit summer. No memory of this, either.
What was once a casual fancy, money-maker on the side, and interesting party favor had become all but a raging addiction. Now, I don't believe that true addiction develops with MXE because I was easily able to quit with no negative mental or physical effects.
However, by the end of my love affair with methoxetamine, I had consumed half a gram in one night with no memory of how all of it disappeared. My last order of 1.5g was gone in four days, and I considered my use judicious and moderate, at that.
I won't say that it was the substance's fault rather than my own, but I must advise that the desire to redose and take booster bumps is undeniably intense. It is not a need for more of the drug, but rather a casual, 'Oh, well. There's still some left. Let's get weird.' For the longest time, it actually was safe to use MXE up to three times per week in the evenings. This spiraled into using every day, from waking until I was functionally unconscious. And I frequently woke up or came to in odd configurations of papers, paints, and other 'project' materials scattered all around me, completely naked. Who knows what my intent was? The strangest and most conceptually and visually disquieting paintings came from this period.
So, have a go if you must, but please don't plan on making methoxetamine a routine ordeal. I have known many friends who were able to keep their doses low and experiences infrequent and enjoyable, but when I started ordering grams at a time for personal use, it got far out of control. And, possibly strangest of all, I do not recall a single bad trip. Confusing? Yes. Disorienting and distorted, bordering on mania? Yes. But unenjoyable? Never.
All this said, do what you will, but do so with caution. Hide the rest of your stash except for maybe a small booster before you do that first line. If you can find anyone willing to bear it, be with a sober friend. You won't do anything dangerous or incredibly stupid, but your sober friend will be the best barometer of, 'Hey, man, you don't need any more. Trust me.'
Peace, safety, and widom to all,
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