Citation: RainbowDelirium. "Inner Peace and Nirvana: An Experience with 4-Acetoxy-DMT (exp99638)". Erowid.org. Apr 5, 2018. erowid.org/exp/99638
I felt the clearest I had felt in my entire life. But let me start from the very beginning.
I had invited some friends over for a small get together. I had just acquired some 4-ACO’s. Also known as 4-Acetoxy-DMT. Locally known, to me at least, as “Tacos”. I had tripped on tacos twice before this experience, and both were wonderful. One was serious, where I contemplated life, and wondered why do people act in the manner they do. The other was silly, where my roommates and I sat in my bed, giving each other head scratches and holding hands.
This trip was entirely different.
There were two friends over, who I’m going to change the names for their protection – We shall say their names are Robert and Demitri. We met at the park and walked back to my house, and dosed around 10 PM – while smoking a bowl of bud.
With my previous two experiences, which had happened the two sequential day prior, I was affected by the dose within fifteen minutes. Colours began to brighten, and shoot the entire light spectrum in these rounded rays. I became calm, almost catatonic at point, and extremely comfortable.
I became calm, almost catatonic at point, and extremely comfortable.
My mind was clear, and happy. Around 11 PM, I had yet to feel any effect. I became irritated, thinking that I had a small tolerance because I had taken it the day before. So I took another one.
At this point we decided to go for a walk. Where I live, it was about 60 degrees outside, so the walk to me was unpleasant. We decided to go to a gas station, to buy an energy drink called Cocaine – so we could be silly and run in, ask the clerk if he sold cocaine, and then buy the drink. Demitri had taken one with me at 9, and it was hitting him slowly as well. We got to the gas station at about 12 and found it had been closed. So we turned around and decided to walk to another gas station. At this point, neither Demitri or Robert really knew the area, but I had become disoriented and fatigued. I followed them around for a while, feeling very cold and lost, and feeling angry because I had wasted two tacos on a trip I wasn’t going to experience.
We got lost for a good thirty minutes before we finally found our way, by chance, to the gas station we wanted to go to.
We looked around for food and all that, seeing if there was anything interesting. Demitri picked up this candy, some sort of Wonka creation and decided he wanted to buy it. I watched as the trip finally kicked in for him – we had been asking each other on a level of one to ten how we felt. Until that moment he had been steadily rising, from 2, to four. As he stared at the candy there was this click, and he smiled and looked at me. I grinned back. We bought the candy, a couple other things, and walked back. Robert, the sober buddy for the night, asked how we were feeling on the walk back. By this time, I was depressed. I felt alone, and cold, and like I just wanted to go somewhere and sleep it off. I felt like they didn’t want me around, and that I was ruining their night. I had this feeling of utter despair. Demitri on the other hand, was riding it high. He was talking about the candy, and how it must be what Oompa Loompas put on their sandwhiches. Robert asked of our level – I didn’t respond but I felt like saying negative four. Patrick replied with a strong seven.
We got to a park, which I wanted to walk around. There were no lights, and it had a history of violence. However, it was the quickest way back to my house. They both wanted to explore a bit, but I felt everything was sinister. I couldn’t talk, but I kept walking, shaking my head at their suggestions to visit the flower bushes or the fountains.
As we got closer to my house I became sluggish, and felt exhaustion so complete I felt it would consume me whole. I could hardly pick up my feet, and I nearly tripped over the rocks in the dirt alley. I became dizzy and disoriented. I lost track of who I was, where I was, and began to panic, feeling as if the darkness would eat me alive. Ahead about 40 feet were Robert and Demitri, patiently waiting. I wanted to call out for help, because I thought I was going o fall over and die. I truly had the feeling that I was going to pass out and never awaken. I reached them and we went upstairs, to my apartment.
Things became a bit of a blur after that. We put in Dragon Heart and I sat by my bed, my knees against my chest and my head in my hands. Demitri began to paint with water colour pens, insisting that I help. I began to feel a bit better, but I was sincerely angry at the fact that I wasn’t tripping. On a whim, I decided to take two more, upping the total to four taken.
I began to feel a bit better, but I was sincerely angry at the fact that I wasn’t tripping. On a whim, I decided to take two more, upping the total to four taken.
After another couple hours, I was still not tripping. Dragonheart had ended, and Robert decided he was tired. Though it was about 3 in the morning, Demitri tried calling a few people to get some bud. He had come down at this point, and I was fairly tired. Demitri and I had a small thing for each other, since we had met near Valentines day. We spent the day together and ended up in bed with each other. Mutually, we had both agreed that a relationship wasn’t what we wanted or needed at the moment, but we decided that we could become really great friends.
Anyway, I coaxed him into the bed with me and began to cuddle. I got a queasy sort of feeling as we began to talk. My mood lifted, and I began to enjoy just lying there, talking about everything and nothing, cuddling against him. We began talking about the night and my bad trip when it finally hit me – everything was clear, concise and bright. I could feel every inch of my skin tingling, and I understood the entire world. I was everywhere and nowhere and nothing and all of it. I realized that suddenly, I was tripping and HARD.
We stayed up talking, just enjoying each others company. We talked about different cultures and life, and happiness and who we are and why we do the things we do. I understood, everything on every level. There was a complete feeling of serenity, and a true Nirvana like state. I cared about all of it, I understood the wisdom and truth behind every particle of life. I had no attachments to anything, and I felt as if I had a soul and it was flying through the galaxy, disconnected from my physical form. I had no desires or wished, simply peace.
Demitri began to express his desire for sleep, though he could not shut his brain down. We decided to walk to the closest store and buy some sleep aids, so he could get some sleep. It had gotten colder throughout the night, and I began to shiver. He said he really just wanted to be home, in his own bed – and he had Nyquil at his house. I nodded, understanding but wanting to simply go home and cuddle with him more. He walked me home, and we hugged. He left, and I went back into my bed. It was about another hour or so after that when I finally found rest though it was brief, because Roberts alarm kept going off on his phone, and he was ignoring it. When I did finally awaken, I felt refreshed, even though it had only been a few hours since I found sleep.
I still have this overwhelming feeling of peace, and serenity. I understand more of humanity and it’s beauty, and I feel like my existence is no longer plain or insufferable. I enjoy everything, because I found my inner peace.
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