DOSE:

22 mg

smoked

Salvia divinorum

(extract)

BODY WEIGHT:

232 lb

Terrifying Experience on Salvia on Trip 5

#5. Tonight I tried the 40X. I weighed out a tiny amount of 40X (22 mg's) and put it in a water pipe, sat down in my chair and torched it. I set the pipe down and waited a few seconds and started to feel the folding or salvia gravity begin. I don't know that I had even closed my eyes but I was very quickly completely in the salvia world, which seems to butt up to this and create this reality (right on the other side of this one!). I was OK until I realized I was on the “wrong” side of the cosmic-everything-machine, in a shadow space behind our reality. Instant PANIC!

I say machine but it is like no machine on earth, it's the machine that creates/stitches our world together. I can just see tiny patches of our world shining through through all the rows of gold and jeweled 'gears' that grind or whirl in infinite rows through our world and all the beings in it. What's weird is that the gears I am looking through were making the roof of the mouth of a girl and I was tiny (or she was giant) and really felt like a 3 cm being looking into her mouth and out of it into the world from the position of her palate. I could see other parts our world too if I looked through a different section of the machine which seemed like the neighborhood where I grew up. My world was escaping from me. I was horrified that I, Jackflintstone, of all people in the world (I thought it just that way too - oh such ego!), had made some terrible mistake and gotten trapped in this dimension and that there was no way to get back. I thought of killing myself, but there was literally nothing there or no way there, to accomplish the task. I thought that I was doomed to this solitary dimension, completely and utterly alone. I fought like hell to jump back through the grinder but I wasn't having much luck and our world was quickly passing me by. In my life and death struggle to get back I woke my wife up – she said I was screaming. I knocked over a table too (thankfully I had the foresight to remove the deco ashtray prior to blast off). It must have been frightful to see me, like a madman persecuted by the hand of God. I was on the floor but overjoyed when I began to come down and realized I was home, on the the right side of reality with my nice little life as Jackflintstone. My wife said she heard me say something like, “Oh thank God”...which is when she realized what was going on. She didn't come out and check on me and I am kind of glad she didn't because without a head's up, it would have been startling at a minimum.

I get why you need a sitter now! That was really freaking scary. I just fought for my life 20 minutes ago. Wow. The dose I took was double the formula (400 / 40X = 10 mg) for moderate to strong dose. It is such a small amount – this 40X is probably really 40X, a good brand. I definitely didn't surrender to the vision and fought being stuck, alone, in another dimension, with everything I had to get back through the “gears” and was terrified. I wonder how it would have been different if I didn't fear death or that place, the universe's weirdest solitary confinement. I'll warn my wife when going down the rabbit hole now, but really, needing a sitter is going to change things. Damn. I was hoping I could handle this solo.

The next trip will be 15 mg of the 40X to see if there is a dose I can go solo. I thought about that experience every day since it happened, how powerful and more real than this reality. I am definitely going back and now I think I will be able to surrender and not struggle. Also, the scary experience makes a person appreciate his or her little mundane life immensely. After that experience, I read hundreds of trip reports and I am amazed about how the most bizarre things in my trip are common...such as seeing reality stitched together from inside a mouth...or the rows of infinite gears that move through to create and knit our world together...of being stuck on the wrong side of reality...of being so completely other worldly, yet oddly familiar....it goes on and on. The magic is back in my life in cosmic way!

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 99687
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 49
Published: Jan 27, 2020	Views: 908
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Alone (16), Guides / Sitters (39), Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5)