Citation: Kenota. "2C-Beatific: An Experience with 2C-B (exp99709)". Erowid.org. Feb 4, 2017. erowid.org/exp/99709
Before I begin, a few notes of order. I am a member of a small spiritual group, and as the use of entheogens is part of our practice, this comes over in my report. I have experience with many psychedelics and had used 2C-B before this. I have a fairly low tolerance for it, and had not taken anything for over a month before this experience.
In preparation for this trip, meditations were performed, affirmations made, time was spent on a decent examination of the self. No food was consumed, so the dose was taken on an empty stomach. Time was made available for the experience and then for the recovery and integration which these experiences necessitate to be of value spiritually. With these covered, here is my report of 25mg of 2C-B.
I take the thick gel cap out of the glass bottle I had been storing it in. 25mg in a size 0 gel cap, likely a few sizes too big for this dose not that it matters. The time was 13:50.
Slight increase in tactile perception noticed. Chills radiate out from my spine, in waves, riding down the channels of my nerves to the tips of my fingers. Like ripples on a calm lake, they slowly spread out and fill me. No mydriasis is seen at this point, but heart rate is elevated. Up to 72 beats per minute from a resting 55 beats per minute. There is nothing uncomfortable about this slight stimulation.
A bias towards the cold end of the temperature spectrum is noted. The warmth of the radiator, which is turned up to full heat, it not apparent save for when in nearly direct contact. The tiny draught from the leaky seal of the window, however, is easily palpable.
An MDMA like euphoria, with slightly less push, presents itself surreptitiously. The body tingles and the sensation is utterly delightful. It has the feel of a whole body vibration, akin to a purr of contented energy.
Slightly warping of the visual field occurs. At this point, I am nearing the peak of the euphoria this experience reaches. I feel suffused with joyous glow, at near incandescence. I feel as though I could shine bright enough to be seen for miles were this metaphorical light a literal one.
It suddenly strikes me that, given every molecule in my body is held together by electromagnetism, and that the electromagnetic force is mediated by photons. This means I really am suffused with light, a galaxy of atoms stuck together with light. This realization pleases me. I lie down to listen to some music: Hans Zimmer’s “Science and Religion”, which enraptures me with its ethereal and encompassing sound.
I get up, feeling slightly heady but otherwise completely indescribable. I relate in real time only the words, written into my computer “I feel beautific”. I can only assume I meant “beatific” which make a lot more sense and really reflects the state of being I was in rather well. I was captured in, and had captured, a pure cold and sparkling joy. I found myself otherwise perfectly calm and serene in mind and body.
I decide to make my way to the shower. Warping is unignorable, colours are brightened, intense and shimmering. By this point, I am bliss. The times recorded from this point onwards are approximate, as they are calibrated assuming that I turned on “Here We All Are” by Ram Dass at T:+02:10. What follows is the quote which stimulated thought, followed by the thoughts themselves.
“The fish trap exists because of the fish; when you’ve got the fish, you can forget the trap” come the words of Ram Dass from the speakers. My mind instantly recalls the words of Alan Watts. “Once you get the message, hang up the phone”.
Ideas and knowledge are not in words, nor are words themselves containers for understanding. It is more the case that words are a suggestion, are vague stimuli which provoke certain reactions in the hearer, or aim to. These reactions allow the hearer to construct their own understanding. Words are like light; I think to myself, we would be fools to misconstrue them to be the things seen rather than the vehicle for the perception of things.
“All thou who are trying to learn the marvel of love from the copybook of reason; I am very much afraid you will never really see the point”
It speaks to me of an idea which I consider fundamental to my spirituality, and to the experience of psychedelics themselves. There is some mystical aspect to these experiences which is not able to be explained or communicated. It must be experienced to be known, or else the person seeking will “never really see the point”.
We must be open to these experiences and try to open others up to these possibilities.
“Each pilgrim on the path has to find his own way; however all paths lead to the same place”
With eyes closed in the darkness of the shower, I see a mountain. All around it I see people trying to ascend it, following the instructions of a single man upon the peak. But all start from different points, and none states where he started. They leave meandering trails as testament to their lostness.
Through my mind, without so much as the interior monolog vocalizing it, shot the message:
‘Take another’s path for wrote and become lost. Heed traveller’s tales only for a sense of terrain’
“I came down… by Wednesday I was speaking of it in the past tense, talking about this great experience I HAD.”
We need thus to understand entheogenesis as part of the system at large, as part of the greater framework. We need to carry these truths with us as part of our lives and our practice. It is not something which has happened, a past event. It is something which is forever with us, something which is constantly unfolding in the present.
We are part of it at all times, it is part of us forever.
“Don’t think about the past… Don’t think about the future… just be here now”
Mindfulness of the present is key. We live forever looking forwards or back. In never being here now, we distance ourselves from now and fail to experience its fullness.
“If you wear a shoe leather, the whole earth is covered In leather”
When we insulate ourselves from the world, when we are not here and now, we experience only our insulation and not the world itself.
“You get down to the state of energy that is so fine it is no longer unique”
The most fundamental level of reality cannot be unique. It must compose all things; it must be the perfect lack of uniqueness. It is complete unity in that everything is merely a manifestation of it.
“All the westerner needs is the faith in the possibility of a higher state of consciousness to equal the faith in his rational mind”
Not so much faith as knowledge, experience and understanding. There is no need for faith when anyone can experience this higher state through disciplined entheogenesis. Let this undercut the cynicism which preys upon so much of modern humanity.
“Wonderful is he who knows Him when taught”
Those who will be receptive to these ideas may be few and far between, but they are wonderful. Seeking them out is paramount.
It is at this point I see something which utterly transfixed me. I saw the fact that that for all their time worn mystique, all a religion or any other system of spirituality constitutes is a tower of ideas.
A true measure of a tower’s success should be its height and stability.
Next, I see a series of concentric circles centered on a point-like light source. On the innermost circle there is a section which is red, while the rest is clear. The light shines out and as the red section is projected onto the larger circles, it is bigger. If we can hold true, we will expand.
Ram Dass ends. In the silence that follows, a final full closed eye fantasy engulfs my mind behind my shut eyelids.
I sat in a garden. Incredible in its beauty, glowing, vivified. The garden is contained in a massive soap bubble, a fluid and iridescent membrane. I get up and walk to the edge, the rubicon. I do not stop. I pass right out, through the bubble, into the infinite void beyond. It is dark, save for the still close radiance of the garden, and devoid of everything and anything.
Suddenly it dawns on me that I am in a space of pure meaninglessness. The void is meaninglessness, the garden in meaningfulness.
Most importantly, I can know one without having to give up knowledge of the other. They are the worlds of the objective and the subjective. The light and the dark. The existence of one gives form to the other.
Within the bubble is the subjective meaning we make for ourselves. Outside is the dark void of objective meaninglessness. But from within the bubble the void is always visible; from the void you can still see into the bubble. One does not obscure the other. Each keeps the other in check.
You’ve got to be aware of the meaninglessness, to keep your meaning in perspective.
Still in the shower. Tame Impala come on after Ram Dass. “Feels Like We Only Go Backwards” and “Sun’s Coming Up” are simply sublime. The notes ripple across my very being and I am all but overcome.
As I am getting out the shower, “Slow Motion” by Third Eye Blind comes on. I sit on the floor and it seeps over me. It’s almost blasé despair simply breaks me down. I sit there silently and cry. There is no sobbing, no weeping; just silent calm and hot tears.
It is not so much sadness, for the blissful joy remains with me solidly, but more simply a release. It is a purge of pent up emotion which unwinds the tensions within me, all the way through my body and mind.
I go and lie on my bed, put on some music (Clive Mansell’s soundtrack for ‘The Fountain’), turn of the lights and give myself an opportunity to cool off. I remain euphoric despite the tears.
I check my computer. Go on skype. Chat. Still feeling the euphoria softly, gentle bliss pooled within. The visuals, by this stage, are gone.
It is 20:20 and I am down. A thoroughly rewarding trip with an old ally, 2C-B; like spending a night in the arms of a lost love. Deep bliss, a lot was learned and I am left with an incredible afterglow. It is an experience which I hope to repeat on a regular though not frequent basis.
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